Lamma-zine - Presented by: Compunicate!

Issue #28, Jan/Feb 2004

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community

All photos & writing (except where credited otherwise),

plus design, editing, publishing, distribution: Lamma-Gung

Many thanks to all contributors, collaborators & advertisers,

especially all writers, photographers, proofreaders & cheerleaders.

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community




Sexy Molls, Forgotten Artists & Village Idiots





Emails to the Editor

Best of the Month

Events Calendar


Next Issue

  1. Chinese New Year Leftovers

  2. Free Classifieds, Links & Web Pages!

  3. Favourite Hangout of Gangsters & Molls?

  4. Restaurant & Bar News - Jan 2004

  5. Roz Keep, ex-Lammaite Painter

  6. The Official Village Idiot Election

  7. Transparency Through Participation in an Interactive Platform

  8. Below the Ferry Pier...

  9. Flourishing Flora, Faultless Fauna

  10. Gravel Ship at Sunset

  11. The Forgotten Artist

  12. "We were awesome in the field!"

Happy Lunar New Year of the Monkey 2004!

(Mouse over for Lamma-Gung's treats carousel 2003)


Business Ads:

Flats for sale in Po Wah Yuen

Links Relocations










Lai See Dau Loi?

Happy Lunar New Year of the Monkey to all our readers! Have you recovered already from stuffing your face over the holidays, have the CNY cakes all been fried, the boxes of edible gifts emptied, all Laisees distributed, all relatives & friends left your flat, all fireworks lit by now? Judging by the amazing noise of firecrackers, Roman candles, bombs and rockets during this last week, this year will become a GREAT one! All the nasty demons of the last terrible year must have been fleeing our island in terror and with shattered ear drums. I love this time of year!


As a Monkey myself, this is MY year and I intend to make the best out of it, becoming like a God of Fortune myself, spreading good fortune, health, wealth and happiness to everybody coming close to me this year, hoping that there'll be a little bit left over afterwards for myself. But if you want a lucky Lai See packet, you'll have to catch me very soon, before I run out...  Oops, too late, hehehe. A lot more monkeying around inside this Lamma-zine...


Lots of new ad categories in this issue: property for rent/sale (see above), jewellery (see above left), smoked products (see below), catering & parties (see below), and beauty & fitness (see above right).

Almost all of these new ads were photographed & designed by myself, free for advertisers, like about half of all ads.


If you're not a subscriber yet, please subscribe here! It's free and your email address will remain totally confidential. It's crucial for the Lamma-zine's success to gain many more subscribers, for its credibility and for selling ads. By the way, I'm STILL looking for somebody to sell ads for the Lamma-zine at a very substantial commission (1/3 of ad revenue!). Make some extra cash! Totally flexible working hours, just a few evenings/month. Corporate & private sponsorships & ads from town most welcome! See ad ratecard!


Send me any stuff (tips, news, pictures, sound, videos, etc.) you'd like to share with the community. Your anonymity guaranteed! Chinese & bilingual submissions are most welcome (I've just got an old PC with Chinese Windows XP). The next issue will be published beginning of March, hoping to stick to a monthly fixed schedule from now on, getting a handle on the writing, editing, photography, design, production & distribution of this 50-page magazine mostly by myself. I'm still lovin' it!


All the greatest wishes for you & your loved ones from Lamma-Gung

Editor-in-Chief of Lamma-zine, Managing Consultant of


P.S. ANY TEXT in this dark-blue or this purple colour in the Lamma-zine is a clickable link to more stuff, like photo galleries and additional pages. Most pictures are clickable links as well!

Ads for Restaurants, Bars, Food & Misc.:


  1. Chinese New Year Leftovers



    Let's start off the feature section of this Lamma-zine with a few random local CNY bits & pieces, some of them odd & unusual, plus some visual leftovers related to this most important, colourful and noisy of Chinese festivals:

    A dog gone missing frightened by all the nightly (and daily) fireworks, police warnings of extortion, designed-to-impress signboards, buying bargain flowers on a ship, etc.

    Click here for Chinese New Year 2004 Photo Gallery

  2. Free Classifieds, Links & Web Pages!



    Did you already notice the new "portal" look of Besides the message forums, there are now many new sections, like ferry timetables, links, search engine & directories of businesses, restaurants & accommodation.

    Plus several sections originating in the Lamma-zine: news, events calendar, photo galleries & the monthly magazine itself.


    But, most importantly, it lets you create and add your own classified ads and home pages, including pictures FOR FREE (with an easy-to-use, fill-in-a-form Pagemaker, no programming & design needed!)!  Click here to have a look!   Click here to discuss the new portal!

    Credits for all these new sections go to webdog, La Miglione and especially k@ who did all the tricky programming work. Do I hear loud cheering for all their efforts? They well deserve it!

    Busy Lamma-Gung only helped out a little bit with the design, advice and integrating parts of the Lamma-zine into the portal.

    Start adding a home page for yourself, your family, your dog, or your business, add a link to your existing website, or create a free classified ad for your garage sale, or advertise your talents!

  3. Favourite Hangout of Gangsters & Molls?



    What is it about the Island Bar that makes it so attractive to gangsters & their girlfriends ("molls")? The place was jumping with hoodlums & sexy babes of all types on New Year's Eve! Photographic evidence can be found by clicking here. Just look at all these obviously criminal-looking mugs and all the sinister shenanigans they're getting up to in their favourite hangout!


    On the left, another great poster from the famous Harrisoni who seems to be retained by the mysterious & reclusive Island Bar "family"? The party attracted most of the infamous figures of the North Lamma underworld, who were congregating for an evening of wild debauchery and raucous fun, continuing on all through the night.


    Dangerous gunplay, "TUFF LOVE" and generally deranged, uninhibited behaviour have been observed and photographically documented below. Intoxicated and bawdy public displays seem to have been all too commonplace. Most of the gang members (and some of the "molls") seem to have taken the opportunity NOT to shave for a week before the illicit gathering.


    The rest of Yung Shue Wan was a very safe place that night, the assembled hoodlums and their floozies taking an ill-deserved break from their usual multitude of illegal activities. Sadly, the local law enforcement was conspicuous by its total absence and missed this unique opportunity to arrest ALL these criminal elements in one fell swoop by simply locking the gates of the bar shut!


    By now, all these powerful underworld figures have slipped back into their disguises as law-abiding citizens. In the name of all outraged, morally upstanding community members, we hope that a thorough crime scene investigation has been performed! All photos here have been shot undercover by "Keef" the Barman-ager & his accomplices. They all "volunteered" as moles, after just a tiny bit of "friendly persuasion".


    Unfortunately, the promised witness protection programme has fallen victim to the SAR's recent budget cuts. Sorry, guys! Good luck trying to escape the rage of your fellow scoundrels for exposing them!

  4. Restaurant & Bar News - Jan 2004



    So, what's new in the local dining & drinking scene after the CNY season? More than you might think!


    Food promotions all over Yung Shue Wan, CNY specials, even Western food catering from places like New Holiday Mood. Special international food nights 5 days a week in Aroy Thai.

    Big theme party at Diesel's ("Sexy Pets", Lucy's birthday, see right with her birthday card):

    Click for Sexy Pets photo gallery!

    Nam Wah Yuen (close to Lamcombe) has closed after many years in business; and was reopened just one week later under new management.

    Juniors/seniors promotion at Emily's: $12/ice cream.

    Click for birthday party photos at New Holiday Mood.

    Thai Thai, the former Satay take-away place on Back Street, has moved across the street, opening a proper Thai Restaurant. Very tasty, hot and original food; but not cheap, easy to spend well over $100 on a lunch for two.


    Click for some new photos and descriptions:

    Restaurants & Bars - Jan 2004. Check out the frequently updated Lamma Events Calendar for food promotion dates, plus all the restaurant & bar ads at the top of this Lamma-zine, of course!

  5. Roz Keep, ex-Lammaite Painter



    This month, a very well-known Lamma artist & long-time resident, the ever-popular Roz Keep! She's recently emigrated with her family to Chiang Mai in Thailand, but she's still missing Lamma a lot, like most ex-Lammaites.


    Better late than never, we present some of her best Lamma paintings. On the right, one of her most famous artworks, "Yellow Mount Stenhouse".

    Read her great, heart-warming Artist Statement and check out the parcel she sent me from Chiang Mai:

    Click here for Roz Keep's online Art Gallery!

  6. The Official Village Idiot Election



    Cast your vote!
     0%  [ 0 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
     10%  [ 5 ]
     14%  [ 7 ]
    k@ (for haunting village idiot)
     22%  [ 11 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
     16%  [ 8 ]
     24%  [ 12 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
    My Hairy Ass
     2%  [ 1 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
     8%  [ 4 ]
     0%  [ 0 ]
    Fortune Chan
     0%  [ 0 ]
    The Divine Ms D
     0%  [ 0 ]
    Toad in the Hole (for haunting village idiot)
     2%  [ 1 ]
    Oscar Meyer Weiner
     0%  [ 0 ]
    Total Votes : 49  (Feb 4, 2004)

    After the recent District Council elections, one more feature about elections: a less serious, more fun affair, much more fun than the US Democratic Party primary elections running right now!

    Elect Lamma's Official Village Idiot!


    It reminds us that some of the old Lamma spirit is still alive even today. Old-timers might remember the Miss Lamma election from years yonder; all entrants were guys in drag! Some of the entrants in this poll are, even worse, guys in suits & ties!


    It all started when gargoyle stated in a forum message on

    "Another village idiot you mean, surely? We seem to have more than our share already."


    That's true! So I asked her to nominate a few candidates and other members joined in, even adding webdog and myself to the list! Kind of disappointing not to have received a single vote, though. I can be an idiot, too!


    Somebody wanted to nominate the perpetrator of a recent nasty high-profile incident, but for legal reasons I'll refrain from mentioning this incident. Yes, I WON'T mention it at all! Sorry, NO mentioning! No mention whatsoever, anywhere!


    Webdog simply put up the list of the 20 most active members (see table). The truly worthy Insomniac is leading right now, having worked really hard for months to earn this title through his many messages on, antagonising & riling up many people.

    He's followed by the indomitable, irrepressible k@ who got his private fan club & "friends" to vote for him, who seem to consider him worthy. Joanne writes, "My uncle Keith is the best village idiot. Vote for him!"


    A few of the notorious multiple split personalities tried to gang up on the well-esteemed & most helpful moderator Alan, but failed to put him in the lead. Wearing socks & sandals is NOT sufficient to win this one!


    My own favourite legless is not doing so well either, despite claiming to be eager to win. But he's become uncharacteristically reasonable, even friendly recently, deviating from his formerly well-established aggressive, inflammatory & contrarian online personality. Good for him!


    We'll think up a suitable prize for the winner and he'll be permitted to gallivant in public, parading along Main Street holding a tour guide flag, wearing a sash and dunce's hat, announcing his new exalted status as Official "Village Representative" of Lunacy and Silliness! Insomniac should get ready....


    But the election is not over yet! Join in, register and vote in the The Official VILLAGE IDIOT Election!

    Betting is open now, eh, sorry, not officially open, as Village Idiot gambling is still not legal...

  7. Transparency Through Participation in an Interactive Platform



    Webdog had another great idea the other day, sending an email invitation to Alex Chan to become a moderator on Alex is the Chair of the Citizens Party and the loser, eh, first runner-up, in the recent District Council election.


    Webdog came up with the above high-brow, clever-sounding email subject line as well. He's starting to sound like a politician as well, doesn't he?


    Webdog, Site Admin & Founder:

    Subject: Transparency Through Participation in an Interactive Platform

    Dear Alex,

    I am writing on behalf of to invite your party's participation in our forum. The forum has enjoyed a very huge success since its introduction little more than one year ago. Currently, we have on average more than 5000 hits per day and over 500 members, plus many more non-registered viewers.

    The fact that we are non-profit-making and provide a platform for free speech in the forums has become very influential in the local community.

    Your participation would be warmly welcomed by our fellow members since most of our registered members are local Lamma island residents. They have shown great interests in discussing political, environmental and other issues related to Lamma Island.

    I would like to propose to open a special topic area for the Citizens Party. And I'd like to invite you or your colleague to be the moderator of the area. Being a moderator will allow you to post news, announcements and edit/delete posts in your topic area.

    Of course we would also like to hear your comments on many issues being discussed in the forum.

    I'm looking forward to hearing from you.


    After a bit of prompting in person, Alex agreed! We're looking forward to hear from "The Big Guy" online very soon! Maybe we should invite the winner of the election, Ms Lammadonna, as well? We can try...

  8. Below the Ferry Pier...



    If you've seen a crackpot crawling & staggering around BELOW the ferry pier taking pictures in the last few weeks, that was Lamma-Gung on two of his photographic excursions, exploring some new, "unusual" views and angles of Lamma Island's hidden and secretive "underworld"...


    If you've always wanted to see what lies beneath the ferry pier that many of us are walking on almost daily, this is the photo gallery for you. If not, congrats, you're normal and don't need to waste your time with crackpot photo galleries like this one! Click the X button (upper right corner,) to close this window RIGHT NOW!

    But if you're just a tad curious what it looks like down there, click here.

  9. Flourishing Flora, Faultless Fauna



    We haven't seen any Lamma Birds, Bugs,  Flowers,... of the Month for a while. Catch up with some new photos from our most excellent expert moderator Zep, plus a few from the private collection of bug-hunter-on-the-prowl Lamma-Gung.


    Learn about some of Lamma's fascinating and little-known wildlife:

    Pandanus fruits, Mimosas, House Shrews, Giant Wood Spiders, etc.

    Click here for the Flora & Fauna Photo Gallery!


    For even more pictures & "informative info", check out Zep's highly informative Flora & Fauna forum, which is full of info, naturally.

  10. Gravel Ship at Sunset



    I was enjoying a tea time set in the Green Cottage - my favourite sunset watching spot - just before Christmas. A HUGE ship was manoeuvering into the harbour, squeezing narrowly through the fishing boats, inching its way towards the construction materials platform opposite the post office, extending its snout...


    Another unexpected surprise photo opportunity!  I was off, filling another two Memory Sticks with 3MPixel snapshots. Some of this gravel and sand was used for the new temporary helipad shortly afterwards.

    Click here or left for another weird photo gallery!

  11. The Forgotten Artist



    It all started, as so often in the Lamma-zine, with an email. A very short, but uncharacteristically whiny, sniffling, "hurt-feelings" email from a self-proclaimed "Forgotten Artist" (see right). Looking at the photo, no wonder he's forgotten. He might even have forgotten his own name as well...


    Let's make sure below that he's remembered again! But I can't guarantee that it'll be in a positive way... "Any publicity is good publicity!" is the motto that the newly dubbed "Shy" Stick Insect Hunter seems to live by. Being forgotten is worse than being dead! But famous artists are supposed to become famous only AFTER their demise at a young age! This guy missed his chance already!


    "The Shy Stick Insect Hunter", the self-proclaimed "Forgotten Artist":

    The Stick Insect Hunter has fallen out of favour of the Great Lamma Gung.
    Not even a tiny little quote.

    You are getting commercially too successful huhh? Have no more time to deal with an unsuccessful artist? :-)

    Great zine.
    Have fun and happy new Year!

    Lamma-Gung's reply:

    Who are you, dear "Forgotten Artist"?

    Lamma-Gung has become WAY to successful these days to even bother with lowly and unknown, "forgotten" artists! No more sycophantic, groveling MI-JAI (Minor Inferior Junior Artist Impostor)! No more weak & subservient Gollum, wicked & mean Smeagol has re-emerged and triumphed in our battle of split personalities! The Ring of Power will be mine, all mine, my Preeeeeciousss restored to its rightful owner, hehe!

    Hah, I STAMP on you, little stick insect! Just a little, ugly smudge on my boot, HARHARHARHAR!

    What famous deed or heroic act have you achieved in the last month to be worthy of the attention of the highly successful & FAMOUS Lamma-zine? What would merit a "tiny little quote" in the unfortunately-not-yet-commercially-too-successful Lamma-zine?

    But I'm a busy man these holidays and don't have any valuable time left over to deal with every "wrong-headed crackpot with an ignorant opinion" (as my idol Calvin in today's papers exclaimed), no more time to deal with an "unsuccessful artist", as you called yourself.

    Anyway, where's this sudden, unexpected, uncharacteristic false modesty coming from? As the self-proclaimed "star" of your own, self-published print magazine, with your picture on almost EVERY page, I don't believe this new, unheard-of-ever-before modesty for a split-second! Just trying to pull my high'n'mighty leg once again, trying to make me fall on my behind with a thunderous THUMP, oh insolent one?

    Anyway, to cut short my braggadocios, self-righteous prose, inform me forthwith of your meritous deeds worthy of honourable inclusion in the CNY edition of the esteemed Lamma-zine! I'll consider your request amongst the mountains of free-publicity requests from other "forgotten artists" in my inbox.

    Well, you could always place a paid ad to promote your nefarious deeds and going-ons to ensure preferred and highly visible worldwide premier exposure (not meant literally, as your predilection for exposing yourself is all too well-known to our esteemed readers!)

    With friendly regards,

    Lamma-Gung, Editor-in-Chief of Lamma-zine

    P.S. Hey, this was fun to write! I should polish this stream-of-consciousness rubbish a bit and include it in the next Lamma-zine, as an introduction to a little feature about your magazine.

    Next email:

    Dear Official Court Artist of,

    We haven't seen any of your artistic creations on Lamma for a very very long time. We know that you're busy being famous in the Philippines, getting your musings and mug shot into print magazines, throwing wild parties and being smooched by girls on both cheeks (front cheeks) in public (see below).


    Click here for The Shy Stick Insect Hunter Magazine launch and Website Anniversary Party


    His comments: "Not only am I quite handsome and sophisticated, I am also extremely humble. Sometimes I am almost ashamed to have a magazine about myself."


    Click here for more info on this large-format, self-promotional print magazine. Hilarious & highly recommended, samples available from Lamma-Gung directly. Another (spoof) magazine cover on the right.


    Also, check out this fun article about our Official Court Artist:

    The Happy Malcontent: "Andy Maluche - artiste, photographer, ex-adman, stick insect hunter, publisher/writer/art director of The Shy Stick Insect Hunter, defending beer-swilling champion, and habitual rabblerouser - tells his own story. It's a strange one."

  12. "We were awesome in the field!"


    Cap’n Burns facing – Hussain’s at the other end.

    Leigh Powell (left) and Cap’n Burns opening:

    The University player seen in the background is looking for the ball Leigh just hit for 6,

    not trying to escape. Although later he might have wished he had escaped.


    John Fox, our official LCCC
    (Lamma Cricket Club Correspondent):

    Lamma title hopes boosted by record win

    Lamma Cricket Club brushed aside a hapless Hong Kong University XI by a club record- 209-run win last Saturday, further strengthening their 2003-04 championship aspirations.

    Winning the toss, Lamma elected to bat, opening with Captain Mark ‘Monty’ Burns in partnership with Leigh Powell. Leigh went in the fourth over for a quickly-taken 20. Our third batsman, Hussain Butt, then shared a superb 147-run third wicket partnership with Cap’n Burns, going on to score 159 off 102 balls, including seven big sixes and 18 fours. Valuable contributions from Ian Beck (15) and Sher Lamma (20 n/o) added to Lamma’s commanding total of 296 for 6, leaving HKU’s batsmen facing a daunting target against the on-form islanders.

    And daunting it proved. Cap’n Burns set an attacking field and our opening bowlers, Hong Kong International Sher Lama (4 wickets for 15 runs off seven overs) and big Aussie Terry Pontikos (2, 12, 5) tore the heart out on the University’s upper order, reducing them at one stage to 22 for 5 after just 7.5 overs. The opening bowlers were backed up by fine overs from Alister McMillan (1, 8, 2), Darryl Bending (2, 11, 2.5) and Alex Griffiths (2 runs off 2 overs).

    That winning Lamma team, supporters and scorer at Sandy Bay:

    From rear left: Foxy, Derek Wintle, Leigh, Darryl, Toby White (with dodgy ciggy), Terry, Alex, Mark Smith, Kim Leung (super scorer extraordinaire), Hussain, Ian, Cap’n Monty Burns, Craig, Al, Sher Lama.

    Our fielders didn’t put a foot wrong either, with excellent catches by Craig Francis (w/k), Alex, Al, and a superb diving effort in the slips by Hussain to skittle out HKU for just 50, so an early tea (well OK then, beer) was had by all.

    “We were awesome in the field; the best Lamma fielding I have yet to see,” Cap’n Burns told the Lamma-zine.“ Our batsmen were spot on too, especially Hussain.”

    Social side

    Ironically, the history of Lamma Cricket Club can be traced back to the 1980s when the University would invite a team of Lamma islanders to play in an annual friendly game at the Sandy Bay ground. It was always guaranteed to be a great day out, even though Lamma were inevitably thrashed by the University.

    While things have changed drastically since then in terms of their performance, LCC remains very much a social outfit, as witnessed by Saturday’s victory celebrations at our adopted club HQ in Central, Barco in SOHO’s Staunton Street.*

    The University are a great bunch of guys and Lamma’s social side were in action at Sandy Bay the next day for a friendly game. The social boys, under the captaincy of Ian Harling, beat the HKU social XI, albeit by a much narrower margin than the league squad, and a great day out was had by all players and their families.

    * A wonderful establishment, highly recommended.

    (all photos submitted by John Fox)


Events Calendar


Check out the frequently updated Lamma Events Calendar.

For all past events, check out the new Events Calendar Archive.

Submit all Lamma-related events for listing to













Thai Food @ Aroy Thai

Sunday Roast @ Diesel's

Sunday Roast @ Bistro


Fish Night @ Aroy Thai




Tex-Mex Night






English Food @ Aroy Thai




Sunday Roast @ Diesel's

Sunday Roast @ Bistro

Thai Food @ Aroy Thai


Fish Night @ Aroy Thai




Tex-Mex Night






English Food @ Aroy Thai



Jan 28 - Feb 17, FCC, Central: Out of Context: preview of photo exhibition by Steve Cray.

Click for poster by Harry.


Every Wed, Feb 4, from 6pm, Aroy Thai: Tex-Mex Night


Every Fri, Feb 6, from 6pm, Aroy Thai: MeatFest


Every Sat, Feb 7, from 6pm, Aroy Thai: English Food


Every Sun, Feb 8, from 6pm, Aroy Thai: Thai Food


Every Sun, Feb 8, from noon, Diesel's: Sunday Roast:

click for poster


Every Sun, Feb 8, 4pm, Lamma Bistro: Sunday Roast:

click for poster


Every Mon, Feb 9, from 6pm, Aroy Thai: Fish Night


Best of the Month


• Pictures: Banyan Tree Bay


No photo submissions from readers this month, unfortunately! So I have no other choice than to use some of my own favourite amateur snapshots.

The first three long-exposure night photos were taken just the other day while having a really tasty, but pricey dinner in Man Fung Seafood Restaurant (first one off the ferry). All seven shots were taken while sitting at the table and are using only "special effects" built-in to my ancient (3.5 years!) digicam. Only minimal post-processing (like cropping) has been applied. Click to enlarge:


By the way, from now on, everyone can easily attach photos to their messages posted on Show off YOUR own best pictures! Click here to find out how.


• Topic: What are the 5 lightning rods?


While shooting another photo gallery, Lamma-Por was pointing out this house on the right, located above the O Tsai typhoon shelter.

But what in Heaven's name are these intriguing huge vertical rods on the rooftop? There's a satellite dish and terrestrial TV antennas, but what could these 5 rods be for? Anybody has any ideas? The sillier & funnier the better!


My own 5 cents, eh, 5 guesses:

  1. Lightning rods to attract money & wealth energy to Millionaire's Hill?
  2. Electronic scarecrows to ward off the rumoured spirits from the gravesites behind Po Wah Yuen?
  3. Transformers absorbing & converting the strong local holistic energies into cash?
  4. Experimental weather-making station, the real reason behind all the fantastic weather recently?
  5. Fancy & mysterious rooftop decorations, put up to get silly people like me talking about the building and increasing its rental and resale value?

Some wiseguys suggested that these are antennas for the various local mobile phone networks (base stations), but I like my own suggestions better!


• Message:


Zoopkabir (writing about message forums in general, but this might apply to's forums as well? Source of this quote unknown):

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


• Funny Story:  "Sex and the Village", by HOB

(Happiness of Being - a new but shy, female Lamma-zine contributor. Not sure if this story is fictional.  ;-):


What are the differences between a good guy and a bad guy?

Scenario 1: A restaurant

A good guy is the one who orders the least expensive dishes when it's his turn to pay, and takes you to the nearest MTR station and pays for your ride after the meal.

A bad guy is the one who orders the most expensive dishes when it's your turn to pay, and takes all the change from the waiter and says "I got to keep some coins for the Star Ferry."

Conclusion: A good guy is serious with his money, whereas a bad guy is generous with your money.

Scenario 2: Your place

A good guy is the one who sends you to the nearest convenience store to buy condoms for him at 2am, and says "Keep the change, my dear." after your return from the store.

A bad guy is the one who sends you to the nearest convenience store to buy condoms at 2am, and says "Why didn't you get the 'Buy 4 get 1 free' at Park'n Shop this morning?" after your return from the store.

Conclusion: A bad guy is a bad person, but a good guy is not a good person either.


Website: Living Islands movement


This is the movement fighting the proposed Superprison off Lantau Island (see below). They've got a lot of great publicity recently and got a simple website online recently. Have a look for a good example of a basic activism website.

I've been catching up with this new movement recently, as a "reporter" at an inter-island activism group meeting, also attended by Alex Chan, Save Lamma and Green Lantau. Purpose of the meeting:


1.  Developing the concepts of sustainable development in the communities and of the individual islands and the islands as a group.

2.  Supporting each community when unsustainable projects are being proposed.

3.  Creating  communication channels to ensure that each community is aware of the whole picture of what is happening.

4.  Facilitate sharing of information.  Setting up a 'virtual library' of relevant documents and archives.

5.  Initiate research and other projects relevant to the islands community.

6.  Give strength through numbers in supporting the action of any group.


• Publicity #1: "Death renews calls for helipad"

(SCM Post, Nov 20, 2003, by Kevin Sinclair)


"Lamma residents say a temporary landing site is needed to save lives: Lamma residents are pushing for a temporary landing pad to be used on vacant land near the island's clinic, saying the situation has become urgent..."

The SCMP is running a little enquiry into David Slough's unfortunate death last Fall, asking local residents for their facts & opinions about this case. The article quotes several residents about the numerous problems & shortcomings of the local accident & emergency services.


This article and several other enquiries by politicians and residents to govt. departments seems to have finally ignited a little fire under some bureaucratic bottoms! The construction of the temporary helipad was fast-tracked, to be completed on Jan 23, 2004, according to a Chinese-only sign on the fence of the construction site at the end of the existing reclamation. I took a few pictures on Jan 13:

Sign at the fence. Completion date: Jan 23!

Far end of the 1st phase of the harbour reclamation, helipad in progress in the centre.

Pouring concrete is almost complete. Shot from the seawall.


This new helipad will be "temporary" till at least 2006, till the super-duper, $16-million, permanent helipad will be completed on a new landing platform built out into the harbour on pilings (see left, click to zoom out). Who's going to submit the very first pictures of a medevac helicopter on or near this new helipad? A bottle of fine wine for the first usable photo I'll receive!

By the way, our recently elected District Councillor, Ms. Yu Lai Fan, nicknamed "Lammadonna", has opened an office on Back Street at CNY, in the former location of the Lamma Gourmet (see right). Opening hours: Mon-Sat 9am-5pm. The Chinese-only poster promises that she'll accept complaints from residents and reflect them to the authorities. Take this great new opportunity, walk in and have a friendly chat! Even better, call first to make an appointment (Tel. 2982 0976) and bring along a Chinese speaker to "facilitate" the conversation.


• Publicity #2:

Out of Context: Steve Cray's photo exhibition:

See poster by Harry on the left (click to enlarge). Running in the FCC - Feb 17. Check out some photos on his website.

On the far right: Steve (w/o camera!), Mr X, master cartoonist Harry & Mr DickStock in one of his rare public appearances.


• Publicity #3: "Career Cruising", Sunday Young Post


There's a weekly segment in the SCM Post every Sunday, called "Career Cruising: Tell us your dream career and we will find out what it's like."

Two Laudable Lamma Luminaries have been interviewed recently, describing their "dream careers":


Marcus Oleniuk, 34, freelance photographer:

"Is there a clear career path? No - it is meandering and vague. There are infinite career paths, no one straight line.

Salary? It varies - a top fashion photographer might live in a Beverly Hills mansion and a war photographer might not have anywhere to live." (see above left?)


Kumi Masunaga, professional drummer, percussionist, drum tutor and drum circle facilitator:

"What sort of person does the job suit? A good personality! Too big an ego hinders the musical harmony.

What's the best part of your job? In those magical moments when I am connected to the rhythm, the music and with the band members, audience and/or drum circle participants, I am in bliss. I love what I do."


Anybody who has ever attended one of Kumi's performances (click here for the Rockit! festival), can attest to this!


• Publicity #4: LAP's Dr John on Radio 3, RTHK

At 9am, Jan 28, 2004 Radio 3 was holding their daily live discussion on a hot topic, about vegetarianism this time. Dr John was defending strict veganism, doing a very reasonable job, refraining from the usual all-emotional & "cute" arguments.


Emails to the Editor

Tim Madsen:

Thank you. Enjoying receiving news from our old home.

A Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to you and your family and of course to all Lammaites.

Chris from Wales:

Thanks for the prompt, the links and the write-up.

Congratulations on another splendid Newsletter. If you carry on without pausing for breath you could just about redeem yourself and get your January edition out for January (early!).

Steve Cray:

Nice mag, thanks for the kind references and links. Much obliged.

I thought you'd like to know, though, that the Bob Davis links don't work. You get the message "server not found".


Salut !!

Je voulais juste te dire que c'est super ce que tu as fait du nouveau site Lamma ! Bravo.

C'est vraiment reussi.

Raman Athinathan:

Dear Sir,

I wonder whether it will be possible to add something that follows to what I have said before in my feature on Lamma Island.

Lamma has some very talented people whom I have not mentioned in my feature. I have known two photographers David Jones (Jones is very much a Welsh name, I think, I have seen many of them in Wales), the American photographer whose skills appear to be very much in demand.

Then there is Bob Davis whose photos I have recently seen and enjoyed at the Island Bar. The field of writing and publishing has a good resident on the island, Magnus Bartlett, who has moved his office from TST to Central.

For those interested in using e-mail facilities, if they don't have Internet at home, there is the business centre run by Ted Farrow, an old resident on the island.

David, a resident of Pak Kok in those days who later on joined the Kadoorie Farm used to make good organic bread in the village and supply it to the shop on the Main Street.

I have noticed that some residents of Hong Kong have recently moved to Macau, if it is manageable from the point of view of maintaining oneself. I do not know whether anybody from Lamma has done so, I am not sure.

One of the things that used to worry me in those days was the poisoning of dogs on the island. I think that this evil was controlled to a certain extent for a time until last year. However I am sorry to hear that this evil has again assumed somewhat bad proportions. Let us hope that there will be soon an end to it!


Old Taikooshing Hand:

Congratulations on your bumper December 2003 Christmas edition: vibrant, colourful and most informative from beginning to end. Hope your January edition will be out before the Lunar New Year holidays from 22 to 24. Cheers and regards.

P.S. Your photos ("Below the Ferry Pier" photo gallery, see above) look great. Why doesn't the Island Districts Office put up a proper bicycle parking lot near the reading room/library that branches to the left of the pedestrian walkway and, perhaps, charge a nominal $1-a-day to pay for its upkeep. That way the walk to and from the ferry pier will be so much less uncluttered.

The bicycles could be hoisted vertically, as they do in Taiwan and Beijing, into neat pyramids arranged according to where the cyclists live or come from so that they can retrieve it by producing the vehicle token. Why don't you suggest this in Lamma-zine?

Pinky Chan:

America & bin Laden:

They both love power and don’t give in.  I heard somebody say bin Laden is that way because they see oranges in the background.  I don’t agree, there must be better soil, better weather and have water.  At least, people can piss on it.

If you ask me which of the two is the greater man (BUSH, I call him BRUSH), I would vote for bin Laden.  He is rich, but people all love him (at least his followers).

USA is Eagle.  Bin Laden can make a big air balloon, fly the biggest elephant to tear USA again.  When the Eagle is killed, USA has to surrender?  Bin Laden is someone who likes to play mastermind and GOD.  This war will last until the next USA president.  We all know that America likes to put her hands into every pot.  They asked for it.  At the same time, they would like to fight with China???

China’s population is 20% of the world.  If India, Thailand, Pakistan, Japan and China co-operated together, I think all Western citizen will rush into …  Why?  Because we all believe in GOD.  Yes!  USA have Jesus Christ and Catholics.  But India has so many religions, how can you fight back (Mr. Tooth Brush) big mouth BUSH!  Once his mouth is opened, Tooth Brush will lose his secret.  According to Buddhism, we don’t speak a single word!  Anyway, words are imperfect tools!  Words are not actions.  How many people are only saying it and not doing it.

According to Bible, GOD WILL ARRIVE around this time.  Right or wrong?  Once a book or newspaper has been published, it becomes history.  I think, if the USA will start one more war, USA will be “game over”.

click to read more, a LOT more...



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Next Issue:  March 2004


Photo Galleries: reclamation, typhoon shelter, Lamma-rama

*  Artist of the Month - Diane Huntoon

*  Sok Kwu Wan Restaurant Guide

*  Lamma Animal Protection - website relaunch

*  Improving our accident & emergency services

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Deadline for submissions and advertising: Feb 25.

Next issue publication date: March 1st.

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