Lamma-zine - Presented by Compunicate!

Issue #32, Sep 2004

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community


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design, editing, ads, publishing, distribution by Lamma-Gung.

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contributors & collaborators, proofreaders & cheerleaders.

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community






Events Calendar

Emails to the Editor


Best of the Month

About Lamma-zine

Story Poll

Media Watch

Next Issue


  1. Leaving Lamma - a Moving Experience

  2. Bishop Zen Visiting Lamma Monastery

  3. High Degree of Atrocity

  4. Where on Lamma? - Guessing Game

  5. What Kind of Shop You Like?

  6. This "Alternative" Cabaret That Is Lamma

  7. Tai Peng Castle For Rent

  8. Restaurants & Bars - Aug 2004

  9. Alastair - Sculptor Extraordinaire

  10. Strictly Fashionable - Artsy-Fartsy Exhibition

  11. Silly Spins on the Magical Spinney Thing

  12. Do Pink Dragonflies Like Drainage Channels?

Some of the stories in this issue, all clickable.

Click on pictures to jump directly to the story

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


Business Ads(Advertise your business!)

Editorial:  99% steaming humidity...

Sep 1st, finally another gloriously bright and cheerfully sunny summer day, after a long & miserable stretch of dull-grey-rainy and maximum-humidity days.


This summer, so many friends & acquaintances have left Lamma for good, some of them moving to Hong Kong-side or even to DbAY (traitors!). Leaving parties every weekend and sales all over the village, many sad partings... Some of them left farewell messages for their many friends in this issue's main story Leaving Lamma - a Moving Experience. Moving away can be a very emotionally moving experience. Most of them will surely stay in touch with their old friends here - and will continue reading the Lamma-zine to keep in touch with what's happening on Lamma! The Lamma-zine is delivered worldwide free of charge! If you have some friends, locally or overseas, who might be interested in receiving the Lamma-zine, send me their email addresses; I'll invite them to become subscribers.


The Leaving Lamma story has two very fitting main sponsors:

a famous moving company (who says that almost all their removals are FROM Lamma, rarely TO Lamma): Links Relocations. Plus somebody who's leaving HK and trying to sell their beautiful GreenHouse in Luk Chau. Both have been tested and are highly recommended!


But school has started again on Sep 1st! According to the two places where people grab a sandwich and coffee on the way to an early morning ferry (Green Cottage & Tropicana) there are a few new faces, mainly teachers. The circle of life continues...


Like every month, the two best contributors in each issue will receive either a fine bottle of wine or a free meal in a local restaurant! Congratulations to our two winners this time: Lisa ("Alternative Cabaret" cover story) and Samson the Mighty Tai Peng-uin (silly wind turbine story)!  Email me with your tips, ideas, stories, photos, anything! YOU might win next time!


Last month, the Lamma-zine was urgently looking for website hosting sponsors. A handful of community-minded individuals stepped forward and donated, mostly anonymously, usually around $100-200, securing the future of the Lamma-zine for now. My heart-felt thanks goes out to all of them! One of the donors requested this fetching photo of Lamma's The Divine Miss D to be published (photo montage by Chocolate Starfish). She writes: "Thanks. Mind you, the picture was taken just before I got a job in a pie factory. I couldn't squeeze one arse cheek into that bikini these days!"


In addition, Harry donated the original artwork of this issue's great cartoon for auction to benefit the Lamma-zine. Bids start at $450! Contact me!

There's also a new extended rate card with low-cost sponsorships starting at $115/month and new Classifieds at $50/line. Have a look!


I've also started a new Lamma News Blog on Sep 1st: almost daily news about anything Lamma-related on the home page. While waiting for the monthly Lamma-zine, you can get frequent news, stories & photos now!


Blogging greetings from Lamma-Gung

Managing Editor of Lamma-zine
Managing Consultant of Compunicate

Site Administrator of

Important Note: Most pictures & all ads are clickable links! ANY TEXT in this dark-blue or this purple colour is a clickable link to more content,
for example photo galleries & additional pages (called Supplements).

STORIESLeaving Lamma | Bishop Zen | High Degree of Atrocity | Where on Lamma? | What Kind of Shop | Tai Peng Castle

This Alternative Cabaret  | Restaurants & Bars | Alastair | Strictly Fashionable | Magical Spinney Thing | Drainage Channel

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


Ads for Restaurants & Bars & Misc.(Advertise your business!)

Sponsors:   (Become a Sponsor!)

Lamma-zine is sponsored by Yung Shue Wan's favourite watering hole: 

Many thanks to the    for sponsoring the Lamma-zine website!

Classifieds:  (Post a Classified!)


•  Lamma-Gung is looking for a 2nd-hand mobile phone, any model, less than 2 years old, up to $300 or on barter: email

•  Lamma-Por is looking to swap her "nice" husband for a 5C's model (Cash, Credit card, Car, Career, Camera face).


Follow-up:  New section!


Frequently, I get interesting feedback on already published stories, or there's something new to report, or additional materials submitted, but it's not enough for a new full feature story. This section will follow up on formerly published stories with the latest updates & new developments.


Dragonboats off-season:

What happens to dragonboats when the racing season is over?


They go to rest in a lush, subtropical forest, hidden from prying eyes, recovering from the severe strains of victorious races, being nursed back to their former glory, repairing their "wounds", repainted to look shiny like new. Don't believe me? Here are the photos as proof!  I've discovered their secret hiding place & winter refuge during a hike!


Island Gym closure:  from the Fightin' Fit website:


Re.: Closure of Island Gym and Relocation of Kidz Karate and Junior Kick Box Classes

Dear Students and Parents,

It is with regret that we inform you that the Island Gym will be closing its doors on Saturday, the 3rd of July 2004.

The closure is mainly due to the increased commitments and workload of both Shihan Pierre and Khru Alain.

We know that all of you have enjoyed the classes and hope that the introduction you have had to Martial Arts will inspire you to keep it up in the future.

We believe now that the needs of the Lamma community could be better served by catering directly to the younger ones and, with this in mind, the Gym will be turned into a Kindergarden / Nursery.

We are currently looking for a full time nanny to run it. (If you know of anyone who may be interested please let us know!)

The Gym was originally opened with the intention of providing a service to the community, with financial considerations being secondary. The classes were put on at a price that everyone could afford, and it was hoped that this would be something everyone could enjoy.

In reality though, we found that the children's classes were the only ones that were well attended. We have talked to most of the parents, and have come to the decision that the children who are now committed to either Karatedo or Kick Boxing can continue their training at our Central Gym.

Have a good rest, don't forget your Katas and techniques, and see you in September!

Yours in Budo,

Shihan Pierre M. Ingrassia

6th Dan Black Belt
Head Professor Shorinjiryu Kenshikai Karate Jutsu
Chief Instructor Shorinjiryu Kenkokan Karatedo for Hong Kong
President Hong Kong Koshiki Karatedo Association
National Coach for Koshiki Karatedo in Hong Kong
Director General WKKF (Asia)
Kru Muay Thai (WMC)
Senior Advisor Hong Kong Kickboxing Association
Consultant to China Sandan/Sanshou Competition
Kyoshi, 7th Dan Red&White Belt, World Organization of Martial Arts (WOMA)
Fully accredited International Referee (WKKF, WOMA, WKF & WMC)


Brown Nose of the Month:  July 2004:


Fortune Chan: "Fortune nominates Guy Miller as the site's Sycophantic Brown Nose for July… Charges are as follows:


He put up some of the most despicable and disgusting postings ever seen in the short, and, at-one-time, happy history of, and then, in a sad attempt to disguise his tawdry bile, he tried to turn his role in that very same thread from dastardly insult thrower into that of angelic community fundraiser. He is a churlish chameleon, he is a doltish charlatan and he wears very bad braces. His sorry attempts at making allies and worming his way up the site administrators well-worn arse have to have earned Guy Miller the title of “Lamma’s brown nose sycophant for July!"


Bobsy's hair care:  His big-hair secrets revealed!


Look what I found the other day on the internet while Googling for "intext:Bobsy". It seems to be a very popular term for girls, pop groups, a VW car model and even several race cars! But the link below was my favourite as it's so fitting: on the Makeup Alley site, which lets their members review beauty products. Cartoon by Harry, from last issue:


Styling Products -> KMS -> Curl-Up Curling Balm

Reviewed by bobsy on 7/23/2004 5:15:00 AM


"At first I wasn't sure but now I really love this. I have thick, medium-length wavy hair. I put it on towel-dried hair & then apply a mousse for some hold & then scrunch away. Sometimes I do a bit of a burst with the hairdryer and sometimes I let it dry naturally. Either way, I love it. Sure, it has very little hold, but it says that on the back - there's a scale and it's 1/5 on the hold scale.

What it does do for me is add lovely shine, de-frizz, accentuate the wave, & moisturise without being tacky or sticky or overly fragranced. Have repurchased & will continue to do so."


Doesn't it just sound so uncannily like Bobsy? His big-hair secrets have been finally revealed! But where can I get Curl-Up Curling Balm for my own hair - or what's left of it? I wouldn't mind at all to "add lovely shine, de-frizz, accentuate the wave, & moisturise without being tacky or sticky or overly fragranced."


STORIESLeaving Lamma | Bishop Zen | High Degree of Atrocity | Where on Lamma? | What Kind of Shop | Tai Peng Castle

This Alternative Cabaret  | Restaurants & Bars | Alastair | Strictly Fashionable | Magical Spinney Thing | Drainage Channel

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


 1.  Leaving Lamma - a Moving Experience


Summer on Lamma: the walls full of leaving sales, the yearly large exodus of people leaving, not just temporarily to escape the summer heat, but permanently, returning home overseas or moving to a new country. June & July are probably the main months of the year for leaving Lamma, especially for the teacher population.


I've been looking for people willing to write a few lines about their own departure: farewell notes to their friends, best/worst memories of their time here, experiences with moving companies, anything related to "Leaving Lamma". Quite a few have returned, one of them leaving/coming back three times, he admitted. For the ones not returning, there's always the Lamma-zine to read and stay in touch with those they left behind...


This feature has two Story Sponsors, the first time the Lamma-zine has ever accepted this new form of sponsorship: many thanks to Links Relocations and the GreenHouse for Sale! First, a very interesting interview with Frazer who moved with Links to Sydney. The questions and answers apply to any big international move and can help you to choose your own removal company.

I've commissioned stories by Doggy, Roberta, Frazer and Ran, all ex-Lammaites by now:


Doggy - Laudable Lamma Luminary, Lamma Fun Day founder & organiser:


I guess everyone on this list knows already, but Deb, Me, Kaia and Finn are leaving Hong Kong in three weeks time.  Amelia is too, and to try to make sure we all get a chance to catch up with you all before we scoot we have organised a leaving party.  This is a two week's notice to try and make sure you can plan ahead and make it over to Lamma to party with us.

The details are:

Saturday 3rd July from 8pm

at the Concerto Inn on Hung Shing Ye beach on Lamma

Live bands NUDE and GAROUPA playing

dj IAN spinning too

There will be snacks and a pay as you go bar, trying to get some cheap drinks, but so far know jugs of beer will have a 10% discount.

We'd like to get everyone to come down as early as possible, so that all citysiders can be there and partying with us for a while before having to skeddadle for the last ferry.

Doggy wrote the following farewell piece for the Lamma-zine on the plane BACK to HK to teach some summer classes.

Last time I saw him just recently, when he was handing over the Lamma Fun Day organisation duties to the new committee which I have joined this year.

Cartoon by Emily!

Doggy Leaving Message:

It’s not that easy to leave Lamma, and it is. 

It’s hard because you’ve got to get past all the people on the path who want to chat, and say goodbye, and ask you what your plans are, and say you shouldn’t be going.

It’s easy because you just have to get on the boat.

It’s also easy because I’ve lived here non-stop for eight years and really feel like I need to be doing something else, seeing something else, working out whether I can live anywhere else.

It’s really hard because I’ve lived here non-stop for eight years and have never had anything but a good life here – which makes me wonder why I would want to do anything else or go anywhere else, particularly when that anything is going to live in Glasgow.  Whenever I say that to anyone they usually look at me oddly, as if to say ‘why the fuck would you want to give up living here to go somewhere cold, wet and miserable’.  Indeed many do actually say that, while still looking at me oddly.  Many too have said, ‘Poor Debbie’, which is about right as I’m making her go to the cold dark place.


But one of the easy bits is that I’m going back with something really good to do for a year, and we’ve only ever looked at it as a year… and after that year…

My relationship with Lamma has changed a lot over my time here.  I arrived as one of those backpacker ravers you’d see annoying the deadheads in Yung Shue Wan Main Street by dancing inside and out of the Banyan Tree on a Sunday afternoon still 'avin' it large from Saturday and keen to persuade everyone to love each other. As I think a lot of people did, I slowly graduated into being more of a normal sentient being – getting hammered all night in the Deli Lamma dancing on the tables and scraping the top of the cistern instead. I managed to tumble nob-first into the Lamma pushchair set which opened a whole new crowd of people and a whole new way of getting pissed – hanging about in the afternoon with lots of other parent types, ignoring what the nippers are up to as we swig the tins safe in the knowledge that no-one has to drive home.

Seems it all has to revolve around getting hammered. Surely I must have had a sober life as well?  Or no, maybe that’s what the cityside is for.

One of the big things about Lamma has always been the chance to get to know and get mixed up with a lot of very different people – has always been easy to do here, mostly in pubs, but helped along by things like the Fun Day and the Writer’s Forum…


And of course online at the My Lamma Forum, where I got the pleasure of being called a fucking whinging hippy, which must be another persona I slipped into without realising it because I’m sure I arrived as a cynical sarcy bastard.

I’m going to miss Lamma life a fuck of a lot, particularly my friends here.  I know far more people here than I do in Glasgow now.  I’ll never say that I will never be back -  who knows?  I’ve already managed to come back after having a leaving party and getting on a plane, so it could well happen again. I’ve seen enough people definitely leave only to come back a year or two later.

There’s a lot to bring us back – warm climate, the beach, easy living – general Lamma life, but there’s a lot that needs to be tried out in the UK too.

Goodbye Lamma.  It’s been a great place to be, great place for Kaia and Finn to spend the beginning of their lives, great place for me to meet Debbie and start all that shaggin' and reproducing act. Great place to have made friends I’ll have for the rest of my life.

See ya everybody.  Mind and don’t sink the place.

Love, DoggyXOXO

Roberta - ex-Lammaite:
Dreaming of Lamma Life:

My husband and I arrived on Lamma in 1991 and lived on the island for 8 years until 1999, when we thought it was time for a change and had got tired of the pollution, the crowds, and the noise of Hong Kong. We moved to San Francisco with our bevy of Lamma cats and have been here now for 5 years. At first, life in the US seemed grand - so clean, so spacious, so quiet! Now, however, we find ourselves dreaming of Lamma life once again and are considering moving back.

What is it that keeps calling us back? It's many things - the utter simplicity of Lamma life, our friends (many of whom are still there), being in Asia and all that that means, and oh so many other small but important things. Like being able to walk to the shops instead of driving everywhere. Like hearing the ear-splitting sound of cicadas on a sultry summer night, or the chorus of bullfrogs as you stroll past on your way to the beach.

And there's something about living in Hong Kong itself that also draws us back, being so near to China and the energy of the whole region. Yes, life here in the US is very comfortable, but it's a heavy, deadened sort of comfort, one that comes from having too much, and yet always wanting more. Hong Kong may be polluted, dirty, noisy, and crowded, but it's got one thing that the US just ain't got - it's ALIVE!


Email interview between Ingmar Jense of Links Relocations (Tel: 2866 6794) and Frazer McGilvray who used their moving services to relocate to Sydney earlier this year (Farewell Ho Down party)

1. Had you heard of Links Relocations before you planned to move? If not, how did you go about sourcing a relocations company?

We had seen an ad for Links somewhere, but didn’t know a great deal about them. We just called up the usual relocation companies of Crown, Santa Fe, Allied Pickfords and added Links in for a quote as well.

2. What did you look for in a relocations company and how did Links Relocations fulfill those needs?

Price was important, but one of the main things was how they said they were going to pack things. We have artwork that is framed glass on glass, and there was a variety of different ways that the different companies said they would pack it. In the end it came down to price between Links and one other, and Links came through on the day as they were able to reduce the price without compromising on the quality of the packing by offering a deal on the insurance premium, not the cubic foot charge. Some companies just quote really high in the first place to make it look like they are dropping their price quite a bit if you ask them to. Maybe they get a lot of mid-levels expat moves that big companies are paying for.

3. How important is personal service to giving you peace of mind when you move?

We had good personal service prior to leaving Hong Kong from Links, and would like to thank Shannon for that. He was very attentive to detail and very co-operative. He is aware of the stresses people are under packing up a household full of belongings and this showed. Post move however, there seems to be other people dealing with your shipment that you have no relation with, and that is not so helpful. One person door to door would be a much better idea.

4. Would you recommend Links Relocations to friends?

I would recommend Links as they are competitive, and have an excellent team of packers, and it is them who are responsible for getting your stuff from A to B undamaged. DO take insurance, as even though we only had 2 items damaged out of 133 boxes (which we thought was very low, and down to the excellent packers), it was still worth the cover. Also, make sure you ad up the value of your house accurately (especially electronics), you would be surprised how much it can add up to.


5. Moving from Lamma presents certain logistical issues- how well did Links Relocations arrange the VV drivers, Gai Dong and storage?

We didn’t have to arrange a thing. 9 guys appeared outside the house at 9am and came into the house like a whirlwind. The supervisor was great, telling his men what to pack, (and what not to pack as we hadn’t got all the stuff we were taking with us on the plane sorted out properly yet!) and 6 hours later, we had an empty, dusty shell of a Lamma flat.

133 boxes were stacked up outside, all numbered, detailed with which room it came from and what was inside. These were all on a master list that was checked out of the house, and into the new one weeks later. Once the boxes were outside the flat, our day was done. I felt sorry for the guy whose job it was to carry the boxes from the second floor downstairs! The VVs were shuttling the boxes to the pier where the kaido was sitting waiting.

Most impressive for me was the way they dealt with the painting. The supervisor measured it, called the dimensions to a workshop and a wooden crate was made especially for it, and this was brought over on the kaido. Special attention was also paid to packing the guitars which I really appreciated.

6. Were you happy with the network partner chosen for your relocation in Australia?

OSS were very good, letting us know when our shipment arrived, when we could expect it, and how much the customs and quarantine charges were. For those golfers moving to Australia, even though you remember to clean the club heads of dirt, don’t forget your shoes! I was charges $200 for the privilege of quarantine steam cleaning the soles of my golf shoes.

A container turned up in our driveway on the allocated morning, and 2 blokes unloaded the boxes which were checked off against the list made in Hong Kong, and once they were all in the house, they started to unpack, assembling beds etc., which was great.

Overall, I would say Links did a good job. There were hiccups, but nothing that wasn’t dealt with promptly and professionally. Everything got here safely, not a hint of mould, mildew, nothing after 7 weeks in a crate in warehouses and on a ship. Thanks.


Ran - ex-Lammaite, moved to Tung Chung a few months ago with Delian, from his Blog, click on May 26:

As some may know, there is a sweating typist about to move apartments. He will leave the sultry confines of Lamma, the cicadas screaming, the mozzies breeding, the lush green leaves laced with ash, for the dizzying heights of Tung Chung. Yup, 51st floor, here we come-

"Tell us more about it, Bob!"

"Guests will stay at the lovely penthouse suite of the Tung Chung Crescent Gardens!" (cue applause) "These 3 year old buildings give a bright view off Lantau Island, which boasts Hong Kong's new and improved airport!"

"But why, Bob? Why?"

"Because our contestants have won the right to use a kitchen designed for people over 4 feet tall! Guests of the Tung Chung Crescent Gardens will enjoy a refrigerator that holds over 3 cubic feet of food, a stovetop range that has more than two propane burners, ample counterspace, and the newest and most luxurious oven!"

Ran: Eulogy to Lamma Ding Dong:

Put yourself in Sheung Wan, in a 300 sqft serviced apartment, 6 duffle-bags, one computer books and CDs, and add to that two traumatised cats who shit themselves after a 27-hour flight.

After renting the place on the 11th floor, go and live among the shark-fins and dried scallops, the garbage and the jack-hammers, the exhaust and the wall-to-wall suits. Live there for two weeks, where AM is PM, where up is down and where breakfast is dumplings cooked on a Teflon hotplate.

OK? Got it? Good. Think about it long enough to be there: two tourists who just moved to HK.

Now take a ferry ride to a place called Lamma, a place you read about from an icy Montreal February, a place that seemed to have music and bars, jungle and piñebo. Take that boat ride, a ride that makes your ringing ears ring, your eyes wide, as Central drifts away like smog in the morning. Ride the waves. Hunt the wake for garbage. Hold hands, as the peak and its high-rises and villas grow smaller. Hold hands, as you point to the Yung Shue Wan pier exclaiming, “Look at that! See, see? I told you there were three smokestacks.”


Find a place with a view of the water, an ubiquitous apartment that boasts 700 sqft, and slowly discover the beauty of waking to birds in the morning, the cicadas, the sun rising as clouds mix overhead. Find that roof and sit a while, have a barbecue, drink some wine, stare at the fishing boat stretching through the beach for yet another run. “I wonder what’s left,” I mutter as I see the nets pulled over and over the same length it netted over just yesterday.

Wake before sunrise and make that coffee. Read that email. Brush those teeth. And with your freshly ironed shirt still warm, walk down to the pier. Get on that boat, hold that coffee and newspaper, greet the same old 7:40 faces, either with a “Morning,” or with a play of the eyes.

And that’s how I was, how you found me when, not two weeks ago.

Now that I’m off, off to a place where the guillotine of the ferry schedule never falls, I laugh at my old kitchen and my open-mouthed misanthropes who lived endlessly with open-mouthed squawking downstairs. “Shitty neighbours? Let me tell you about shitty neighbours.”

Gone are the days of making due with nipple-height refrigerators, no more stooping to chop onions, and enough already with the lukewarm single tap kitchen sink. Fokedat.

Like a pot of new tea on a Lazy Susan, it tastes good at first, feels a little bitter next, and leaves you a little empty last.

And truly, not to leave the analogy incomplete, it always leaves you with a want, “I need to take a piss…”

So that was the lover's lament.

And here's where you're now:

Yesyes, very good, I know - 51st floor in Tung Chung, waaaaaay out on Lantau, where it's so far. On the other hand, what it is that makes the new digs so fresh is that it feel open -in a way the Lamma roof did - but the Lamma apartment did not.

Open kitchen to open dining room to open living room to windowed view of a mountain and hundreds of little apartments below. I like that at night I can watch the traffic, noiselessly run far and wide; meditative, like staring at fish through glass. The walls are cream, the floor is white, the bathroom has marble and a tub.


Finally, another word (or 2 or 3...) from our two Story Sponsors:


Links was founded in 1996 in direct response to a growing desire within the Hong Kong business community for a relocation services provider to deliver personalized services tailor-made to suit the individual requirements of corporate clients and their Transferees.

Our growth has been rapid and our acceptance within the business and expatriate communities we serve has been widespread and continues to grow each year. In 2002 we established offices in both Shanghai and Beijing with the intention of meeting new demands for innovation and to provide the same dedicated and personalized focus in meeting the various relocation requirements within these cities.

With our Beijing office opening in 2003 and new offices scheduled for Singapore, Shenzhen and Dalian in 2004, Links Relocations has the capability of providing a local, regional and global relocation solution.

Links Relocations currently provides relocation services to over 250 multinational companies in Hong Kong, China and Singapore. In 2003, we relocated over 1,100 families globally and have provided destination services for nearly 800 inbound transferees.

As we continue to expand as a company, we ensure our investment in people, technology, equipment and facilities also expands in line with our growth. The core reason behind our success is our ability to maintain our integrity in the level of service delivered and dedication to the personalization of the moving experience.

For Sale:

Unique and idyllic island hideaway

Rare gem in Hong Kong…detached peaceful and secluded house yet with easy access to the city from its own pontoon, via Aberdeen. Must be seen! For more information and appointments to view:

Email or Tel. 9103 8995, Stephen. Click for more photos & info!

Own pontoon. Large terrace. West-facing aspect.

Refurbished in 1999. Suits couple best. All owners, including ourselves (50% bank value) have obtained mortgages.

Magical holiday house for weekends - escape the stresses of HK in half an hour. Can live full time - easy commute as long as you like boats.

Ambience: peaceful and serene. I defy anyone to visit and not come away with a greater feeling of peace... relaxation... de-stressing.

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


 2.  Bishop Zen Visiting Lamma Monastery


Bishop Zen (white-haired, in the back, middle left) with his Lamma flock & the Poor Clare Sisters of the Portiuncula Monastery.

Click to enlarge to 4* size (269KB).  Photo supplied by Sister Sonia (2nd from the right, standing).


Strolling through Main Street on Sunday morning, Aug 8, I came across the new, rainbow-hued signs on the left. Like most people I was wondering: "Portiuncula Monastery? On Lamma?".

Asking the Lamma-zine "Official Main Street Correspondent", Nick the Bookman, he announced that Bishop Zen would visit Lamma that afternoon, holding mass in the "Our Lady of Lourdes" kindergarten/church. So this sign was a coded message for true believers of the Catholic faith to find their way to this big celebrity event! I got ready for another impromptu photo shoot. Follow the sign for the full story & photos.


Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


 3.  High Degree of Atrocity


It all started with an email from a Lamma-zine reader who I didn't know personally yet: "Dear Lamma-zine,

If permissible, I aim to draw your attention to the new Hong Kong novel, High Degree of Atrocity, written by a Lamma Islander, namely myself. Should you consider this a suitable Lamma-zine subject, I'll gladly provide you with a review copy and strive to co-operate.

Sincerely, Jay Scott Kanes


Yes, Jay, it is permissible to aim to draw my attention to your book! Here are some excerpts from his understated, modest, quiet, little press release:


High Degree Of Atrocity:

Exciting! Poignant! Daring!

Hong Kong Author Creates Candid Fiction

Hong Kong – In a heart-thumping new novel High Degree Of Atrocity, ex-journalist Jay Scott Kanes becomes the first English-language author to deal candidly through fiction with Hong Kong’s divisive political future.

Residents of Hong Kong simmer and fret, trapped between their yearnings for political freedom and the Beijing leadership’s intolerance.

High Degree Of Atrocity’s plot emerges from real-life political turmoil,” says Kanes. “The fictional events reflect reality, albeit a worst-case scenario.

“By writing this book, I attempt to protect Hong Kong from prospects the plot may come true. Maybe explosive fiction can repel sinister forces to the north that consistently threaten Hong Kong’s autonomy and freedoms.”

“Fortunately, readers everywhere can enjoy the dilemmas, dangers and excitement oozing from High Degree Of Atrocity.

High Degree Of Atrocity
Jay Scott Kanes

ISBN: 1-4184-2650-4
338 Pages

Gunshots disrupt a street protest in Hong Kong and unleash tragedy on a towering scale.

On Sale At:

Flow - 1/F, No. 4 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central, Hong Kong (on the escalator)

Flow - 1/F, No. 16, Wan King Path, Sai Kung, Hong Kong

Lamma Island - Tel: 2361-1143 for delivery near Yung Shue Wan

Online sales:, or

At leading bookstores around the world: cite the title, publisher (AuthorHouse) and ISBN (1-4184-2650-4)



I met Jay for a coffee, doing a little book interview and asking him to describe why Lamma's a good place for writers. He sent me the following email & photos soon afterwards:


Jay Scott Kanes:

Our discussion yesterday widened my knowledge of Lamma and its quirks.

As promised, below are comments to give you a Lamma angle. I've also taken the liberty of attaching a few photos, since you mentioned the importance of visual appeal.

Despite Lamma's tranquility, this place can make dreams come true. For years, I wanted to turn away from the work-a-day world on Hong Kong Island (see photo) to write a novel. Lamma provided perfect inspiration, with quiet hideaways for writing, plus scenic inspiration in some directions when taking a break to walk my dog Gail along Power Station Beach (see photo).

For people with creative urges, whether they're inclined toward prose, poetry, painting, photography or other options, no better place can exist than the island where Lamma-zine blooms.

In High Degree of Atrocity, the protagonists have occasion to ride the Lamma ferries and stroll along Main Street, still a relaxing experience for them, although by then much of Hong Kong roils in turmoil.

Without Lamma Island, I'm sure High Degree of Atrocity might have remained nothing more than warm embers glowing in my mind.

As for the photos attached:

-- one is from a pro-democracy protest at Victoria Park, precisely the sort of event that inspired the book (top left)

-- my furry advisors stayed on top of the manuscript, but not all found it exciting (ho-hum!) (above left)

-- seated in a Wanchai office with a former colleague (a pic from pre-full-time-writing days) (above)

-- an unshaven editor responds to my new prose with an over-powering yawn (left)

-- the scene on Lamma's Main Street during a stroll when ideas for the book congealed.


Asking a few people who got advance copies of the book for reviews, this is what I received, including opinions from an Ice Red forum about Jay's book: Fiction Probes Hong Kong's Political Pickle:


Fascinated: Just finished reading a new Hong Kong book. The title is High Degree of Atrocity, an amazing antidote to dangerous nonsense fed to Hong Kong people by the SAR and mainland governments.

High Degree of Atrocity is written by a guy who used to work in HK's government sector. The story describes HK's grim political future in the year 2009. I first saw this book at the Flow bookstore in Central. Never read anything more relevant about Hong Kong.

Read for yourself. Once you start, you can't stop until the end. Prepare to stay awake all night to reach the final page.

Wondering: If Tung Chee Wa-wa read this book, I think the old guy might keel over from a heart attack

MorePower: The gweilo novelist Jay Scott Kanes tells a profound story, politically incorrect to the core, that no Hong Kong or mainland Chinese writer would dare. More power to him.

Patriot: Pro-democracy politicians like Martin Lee and Emily Lau always talked nonsense. Now the writer Jay Scott Kanes joins the politicians by filling an entire book with crap offensive to patriotic Chinese.

Rapt Reader: My girlfriend gave me a copy of High Degree of Atrocity. Exciting stuff. Made me worry for Hong Kong's future. Reminded me of local government's idiocy and lying ways. Not to mention mainland deceit.

Worried: This book frightens me. Difficult to sleep after reading.

John Newson - Lammaite & Director, Headlong Publishing Ltd Tel 2982 2145/9752 1927, email:

Well, it was quite a surprise to find myself reading a current thriller about Hong Kong where all the things that we dreaded happening that didn't happen in '97 suddenly do. What a gas! There's nothing better than unreconstructed mayhem, and this book delivers plenty of that. There's bullets all over the place. Moreover, coming from someone who knows the culture, knows the city, knows how the government works - and even has a Chinese wife - you can't help but feel the authenticity.

The two main protagonists - one hesitates to use the word heroes - are chirpy, lively...and quite believable. Including, believe it or not, the lady with the eye-patch. In fact they come across as refreshingly realistic. Meanwhile, John Scott Kanes churns out a highly readable if slightly quirky prose style that falters not, neither does it deviate nor dissipate from a high level of tension. He amuses at the same time as he implacably winds the screw.

As we get into the end-game of the plot, delightfully irreverent characters and activities start to stud the story, and powerhousing along right to the final pages, we eventually get resolution from a 'Les Miserables'-style streetside change of heart from the inevitable implacable Javertian monster followed by the expected but wonderful relief of escape. This book is deliciously irreverent; read it, it can't do you any lasting harm...although the government might not be too happy.

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 4.  Where on Lamma? - Guessing Game


Testing the knowledge of the members of, I started a little guessing game a while ago, using this first photo on the left. Encouraging people to email me picture of places on Lamma, I posted them and let people guess where they were taken. I restricted it to publicly accessible places in the Yung Shue Wan area for simplicity.

Check out how well (or not) YOU know Lamma!


Guess first and then highlight the "invisible" captions after "=>" below each picture to see the solutions to this Guessing Game! Don't cheat, as there are no prizes! Count the number you got right.

If you get at least 30 out of 39, you can call yourself a true Senior Lammaite; 20-29 points: Junior Lammaite, get out more and explore your home; 10-19 points: Baby Lammaite, new arrival; 0-9 points: You don't live on Lamma!


To play the game, click on the left picture or here: Where on Lamma?

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 5.  What Kind of Shop You Like?


A long-time celebrity of and the local community posted a question: What kinds of shop you like on Lamma??


Spliffany: "My husband and I wanna open a shop on Lamma, but we have no idea what to sell. So, maybe I should sell some things Lamma peoples need and which no one sells yet on Lamma yet. By then, we don't need to go all the way to town anymore, just for one or two things! So anyone wanna give an idea? What would you like?"


The huge number of ideas from many members ranged from the practical to the whimsical, as expected from this creative & imaginative crowd. A little selection to inspire other wannabe shop-owners is listed below. Quite a few shop fronts right on High Street and Back Street are currently vacant (right: former Scorpio business centre). For just a few $1,000s rent per month, you could open your own little place within days!


Oscar Meyer Weiner: I would suggest you open a shop selling 'ethnic' haberdashery. God knows there's got to be room for another one.

chocolate starfish: Lot's of people on Lamma Forum seem to keep losing their bags so a great idea would be to set up a shop on main street selling......bags

You could sell plastic bags for Fortune Chan to keep his fish in, colostomy bags for that Brown Mist to play with, old fashioned leather bags for Dr Freud, bum bags for Guy to keep his nose warm in, make-up bags for the lovely Ms Divine, straight jackets for the cyclists and village madmen, school bags for Yaffle, cooler bags for Legless on Lamma's tins of Carlsberg, stash bags for yourself, Spliffany, jewellery bags for Lamma Gung to keep his royal king of crown in, insulated bags for Fat Boy to keep his donuts hot in, dainty little purses for Nurse Zimmerman to keep her rubber gloves in and of course you could still have room left to sell some ethnic bags for the tourists and the trendy Tai Peng rich crowd.

Beanburglar: How about a gun shop so we can take a little bit of "insurance" down the pub in case things take a turn for the worse?

Hey, what about a cement shop? They always need that on Lamma.

or a chemist.


Birdface: There doesn't seem to be a massage parlour on Lamma, or are they too well hidden?

Doggy: A photo developers and photo equipment shop.

Insomniac: I'd go for a 'Head Shop' incorporating an import business. Or, baby clothes for the growing market, or a catalogue shop.

gargoyle: garden or patio furniture.

Mr President: cake shop, shoe shop, light shop (the divine ms d would lurvvvv a nice chandalier).

Samson: How about an Ikea franchise? Guaranteed business from Y2Kea... and god knows when the pubs would need new and easy to throw chairs?

Sneaky-O: The Ikea franchise doesn't sound like a bad idea, or maybe something like Fortress too.

We on Lamma have the convenience of delivery from our monopolistic outlets - The Electrical Shop and The Furniture Shop, but the range is so severely limited and the prices over the top.

Ikea and Fortress etc would only need to open a small room with catalogues and a surcharge to deliver to your home any item found in the "mainland" stores. I reckon you would make a fortune.

bbdog: a sports shop.

Joe Cool: How about a shop selling medicine or skin care products?

bunnyrabbit: I'd suggest to have a computer accessories shop (with latest console games, maybe).


Everytimeagoodtime even dared to suggest a McDonalds, but didn't get much enthusiasm...

big al demands a shop selling "massage oils and leather chaps" (or was that 'straps'?)!

Beanburglar: "Kung Fu death star emporium?"

Samson: "How about a PINKYISM alternative lifestyle shop, offering advises on all the tricky situations in life (e.g. how to smash the ATM at the bank), selling all sorts of souvenirs and of course, the cult's bible, Pinkyism According to Pinky's Memorable Pink Quotes." Cool


Great idea! And we've got the venue for it already! The former Bubbles laundry on Main Street, owned by Pinky and unoccupied since Bubbles moved to Back Street. Before leaving for Vietnam, Tibet or China (?), Pinky was talking about opening a shop in there herself. Maybe for Pinkyism goods & services? Somebody's selling "leather-covered wooden boxes" in there now temporarily...


But the Official Court Cartoonist (photographed by Steve Cray in an uncharacteristically serious pose, doodling on the ferry) came up with one of his usual great ideas that nobody else suggested before! See above! What Discovery Bay residents think what kind of shop we Lammaites would want!


Well, a shop like this might actually become pretty popular, IF the not inconsiderable legal hurdles could be overcome! In the cartoon...OK, I get the "Magical Mushrooms" reference, but what the heck is "Bolivian Dog Walking Powder"? It sounds intriguing & tempting. But my own "experimental" days are so far in the past (last millennium!), I seem to be totally out of touch with today's hallucinogenic technical terms and latest designer drug fads. Time to join some rave parties to do some up-to-date research, maybe? Maybe not! By the way, very accurate drawing of our famous Busker!

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 6.  This "Alternative" Cabaret That Is Lamma


We haven't heard from Lisa in a while, the studious lady who's doing a social anthropology PhD about Lamma, the "community of communities". Having completed many weeks of interviews with residents recently, I've begged her to write an update specially for the Lamma-zine.


She came up with such a great, insightful and foremost readable story that she wins this month's Best Contributor award of a free meal! And I liked her "final conclusion" so much that I made it into the title of this feature and of this entire Lamma-zine issue!


Lisa - PhD candidate, HK University

Thanks for bouncing my questionnaire off satellites in cyberspace, Lamma-Gung. So far, I’ve had responses off some of the French population here on Lamma, which has been excellent. I never intended to rely on the questionnaire as a method of data collection, so it’s nice to get some response coming from people that I so far haven’t met on a personal basis…

I did get a response about my photo that has been plastered all over Yung Shue Wan on your e-zine flyer as I walked back from the beach today – and I am still blushing!!!!!!!!!!

[Editor: Sorry, my young flyer distributor went a bit above and beyond the call of duty…]

Now for some Saturday morning musing [NUDE rocked last night on K’s rooftop – I was just getting in to the grooves of Mr Cut-Master-Swift on the keyboard, when the Babylonians with their earth-coloured, spray-on uniforms came and put a stop to my dancing…]

Describing the whole experience of my anthropological fieldwork so far would be like drawing parallels between the song lyrics of “People Are Strange” by The Doors and “Club Tropicana” by Wham! Which loosely translates as: it’s had its highlights, as well as low points.

“Doing” anthropology can at times feel like being a journo with no newspaper to publish your story, doing private investigation without being hired by anyone, or being a psychologist without charging the hourly rate. It is also immensely fun and personally taxing, forcing me to stretch my own perimeters in the quest to get people to stretch their own – it’s definitely been a two-way process in the interviews I have done so far.

I have sat outside the Tin Hau temple with Chinese teenagers – when I asked them what they thought might change in the future in YSW, one said, “We need a bridge to Central, YOU help me build a bridge! Lantau has one, why can’t we!” Another joked that there should be a place for prostitutes!

Others have mentioned the “stigma” of living on Lamma. One of Lamma’s famous photographers said to me that it was hard trying to leave “society parties” in Central in the late 70’s, when telling people you were going back to “Lamma”, “peoples faces would be like ‘What?’, they couldn’t understand it. You’ve got to remember it was a time when people wouldn’t even come down from The Peak and eat in Chinese restaurants.”  I’ve talked to 90-year-olds who think that the people of Lamma are healthier and have a better quality of life than those “over there.”


What has been striking for me as a somebody interested in some of the micro aspects of globalisation, is that the 21st century has forced people to re-examine where they are going in there lives and to find a balance between how they earn their living and how they “do” their living.

Among other things, Hong Kong is renowned for its high salaries, its fast and inhuman pace of life, its proclaimed “fusion” of East and West, or general hybridity…. yet 20-odd minutes away from what is for some one of the most exciting cities of the world, there is real village living to be had. Yung Shue Wan, the “interglocal”cervix of Lamma living is a reconstructed backwater, which mixes up the past and the present in a way that makes for a very pleasant standard of living for all concerned.

A Chinese shopkeeper laughed as we chatted through an interpreter outside her shop, “People wouldn’t believe how little our family spends living here. We have no worries – we own our property, so don’t have to pay rent,” she started tugging on her old T-shirt – she was laughing about her relaxed dress sense, and the fact that she could wear what she wants here and avoid being a fashion victim! The only time she ever leaves Lamma is to get a weekly dose of poultry from Aberdeen, and she said if the old market still existed, then she probably wouldn’t go to HK-side at all.

Most international people I have spoken to are originally from villages or small towns themselves – and “escaping” our own native village life seems to be a normal rite of passage to growing-up and getting out into the wider world.

Many people have lived away from “home” for so long that they no longer feel they have a nationality – this sense of shedding or stripping away ones nationality has for some made them feel like they could never return to a type of neighbourhood that wasn’t fully international.

For others, their sense of national identity intensifies the longer they’re away. As one British woman put it, “I actually feel like I am representing UK a lot more now, like the behaviour I show to local people or wherever I am, it’s me on my best behaviour showing others what British people are like. I feel I am representing Britain in the best light as possible.”

There is an identity that the people of Lamma share which transcends class, race, age and financial status. I have a bit more interviewing to do before I give you the anthropological take on all of this.

And I look forward to returning to my hermit-like duty of writing up and theoretically musing life in this “alternative” cabaret that is Lamma, Hong Kong.

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 7.  Tai Peng Castle For Rent moderator Alan alerted me to a story in my favourite local publication: "Spike" (July 23-29 issue): "Property rights and registers" by the Spike Business Editor Cathy Holcombe, the only Spikette living on Lamma. Quoting the last few paragraphs:


"On Lamma there is a local property tycoon of sorts who is famous for her aversion to home repairs, as well as her colourful wine-fuelled adventures on the island's main drag.  She owns a series of illegal structures, one of which I lived in briefly, attracted by its old-fashioned charm and traditional style before being repelled by mosquitoes, centipedes and the realisation that I was getting really screwed on the rent.


Our parting was far from genteel, but several months after the event she invited me over to one of her houses to bury the hatchet or, as it turned out in her case, smoke the peace pipe.  She told me she lives off the $40,000 a month she makes in rental streams; I bet she makes even more.  She said she came into the properties out of a charitable impulse to help a number of individuals who had built up gambling debts; i.e. she scalped them while they were down and out.  Apparently few of her holdings are legal but as she put it, "Sometimes you have to take a risk".


Hong Kong is a reasonable place, with a history of protecting economic rights and compensating those displaced by development.  Lamma's local property tycoon will surely fight for titles if she can get one, or avoid the issue of it involves too much investment to supply building permits.  Improvements are always welcome.


But Hong Kong always worked not due to a stellar land-registry system, but because the collective rationality of the place - its courts, its customs, its drive - gave it a sense of legitimacy.  That makes it worth the risk, both inside and outside the law.  Even my crazy ex-landlady knows that."


The full story is available as a PDF file on the Spike website. The three photos above have been submitted by David Kerr - an ex-colleague & neighbour of Cathy who wrote the great story above. The photos show probably the most famous one of Pinky's mostly illegal "stone mansions" with no deed or title, but available for rent, this one for $2,900. It's locally called "Tai Peng Castle", a suitably irreverent, funny, even cynical name, worthy of a true Lamma nickname. It's located just at the right of the stone chairs rest area on top of Tai Peng. It has a long and fascinating history, told in's forums:



Actually it's quite comfortable to live in. Many of the people who have lived there thought they had the best house on Lamma. One even tried to buy it from Pinky, but she refused - now we know why! It has so much character and the location really gives it a great feeling of space, when so many Lamma flats have that typical concrete box, housing estate feeling. It really catches the sun and on a bright day with the doors and windows open and the breeze passing through....aaahh.

There's a skylight in the roof too, so it's surprisingly bright (combined with the bright yellow decor, courtesy of photographer Alan, a former longtime tenant and still current Lamma resident, LG). Plus you've got a bit of a garden courtyard type affair round the back and a "water feature" beside - perfect for sitting back with a beer and watching YSW from afar.

The biggest nightmare was the flooding every wet season, sometimes a foot or so deep. Pinky finally got a guy in with a Kango hammer to cut a huge trench through the living room floor, but I suspect this wasn't a totally effective solution.

As I understand it, the actual cottage/castle is part of the Mighty Pinky's empire, but the collapsed portion abutting it on the far side of the picture "belongs" to the brother of Mr. Wong, owner of Tai Peng shop.

I haven't been it for a few years and it might be a shit hole now, but with a bit of TLC and some tasteful interior design you could do a lot worse.


...leaving sale that I went to at that stone house, and it seemed pretty uninhabitable to me, way to many holes and cracks in it let alone the spooky feel of it.

Former tenant who lived in a different Pinky property and prefers to stay anonymous:

This is a subject I'm staying away from. My sense of humour fails me completely. No, this is not a picture of my former house. I know this because there are no snakes in the picture. Or centipedes. Or Pinky. But I do see her sure hand in the decor, so it must be one of her other "mansions".


We should have a serious word with the Lamma Spikette, writing in such an utterly disrespectful and non-sycophantic way about our "local property tycoon", also known as a Laudable Lamma Luminary and godmother of Pinkyism! She even dared to call her "crazy" instead of "supremely enlightened"!

Quite a coincidence then that our 3G (Great Guru Goddess) Pinky is currently working on a promised sequel to her first Lamma-zine story: all about her "mistreatment" and recent "escape" from the "loony bin" (as she called it herself, surely in jest???). I'm waiting anxiously for it, the next chapter in the on-going epic Pinky saga...

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 8.  Restaurants & Bars - Aug 2004


So what's been going on this month in the local dining & drinking scene? Well, several concerts in bars, a free buffet, a repainting, home cooking, two very little-known places with exotic opening hours and at least two major new places being renovated for openings in the near future.


Plus an SMS: "Join lucy and malc at diesels this sunday 3.00pm, free buffet, hope to see you there. Veggie and non veggie". Farewell to my dear friend Moloy who's still living on Lamma but working in Central now:

Operations Manager of THE EDGE bar/restaurant!


Click on the left picture for the full story & all the foodie pictures, including ancient, historic shots of Lamma restaurants:

Restaurants & Bars - Aug 2004

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 9.  Alastair - Sculptor Extraordinaire!


Most Lammaites must have noticed the two caribou sculptures in front of the Bali Resort? They are the first pair for a life-sized Noah's Ark project, which will include dinosaurs, even a T. Rex, for Alastair's anti-evolutionist client. Still little-known locally, Al's done some amazing work over the years.


I've pulled some of his best works from his scrapbooks and proudly present them to you in a virtual art gallery, plus his musings on "WORKING ON LAMMA - The PASSING OF SUITS":

Alastair - Sculptor Extraordinaire!

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10.  Strictly Fashionable - Artsy-Fartsy Exhibition


First solo exhibition of our "Official Court Artist" in Hong Kong! He writes: "Everyone knows me as the eccentric humorous artist with a philosophy problem who has not the slightest commercial potential. Well, then let me introduce to you my photography. It is still wacky but at least I can make big bucks from it."

Strictly Fashionable - An art/photo exhibition by Andy Maluche August 3-7, 2004 at Art Statements located at 5 Mee Lun St., Central (along Hollywood Road). Directly vis-a-vis Malcolm Golding's new gallery & home, in fact.


All other artwork was created by "The Artist" in person. Quite a few of the artworks in the exhibition are also shown on his website! But he likes to appeal to the masses, hopefully finding more willing victims, eh, buyers to delight with his unique master-pieces!

In the meantime, Mr Andee (his nom de plume) is already preparing for his next artsy exhibition, called FART (see left), in Manila where he has exhibited to his admiring fans numerous times already and has become a beloved local celebrity in high art circles and much-featured in major local & national newspapers. (end of sycophantic remarks)

Have a look at his artworks & Artist Statements!

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11.  Silly Spins on the Magical Spinney Thing


Above: Artist's impression of the proposed wind turbine, viewed from Tai Ling Pavilion - existing 2nd Cable Road on the left - 71 metres tall, 4,400 sq metres, HK$10 million - overlooking Mt. Panorama and North Lamma.

Below: Artist's impression of view from HK-side, from East Lamma Channel.

HK Electric (HEC) has issued one of their rare press releases on Sep 9, 2004, announcing the construction of a wind turbine in Tai Ling - above Tai Peng - to start in early 2005, for completion by early 2006: "EIA Report on Wind Turbine Submitted to Government".


The press release gives a good overview and background of this hot-topic project and claims that "By erecting a wind turbine on an otherwise barren hilltop, the project will boost Lamma as a tourist spot with educational and environmental value."

They promise to "maintain a close dialogue with the local residents." Having established a good working relationship with HEC, the Lamma-zine, the discussion forums and the new Lamma News Blog will publish turbine updates & news as soon as they'll become available!


Cartoon by Gavin Coates of
The EIA report promised to go online around Sep 14 for public consultation, comments & feedback for one month. I've published another Lamma-zine story about the wind turbine project two issues ago: We're Getting a Wind Turbine.

Links to SCMP stories, full of interesting facts and opinions: Turbine as quiet as air conditioner  (Sep 10, 2004)

The winds of change  (Aug 22, 2004, quoting Lamma forums).

Discussing this project in some detail with HEC recently, they confirmed to me that this 600-850kW turbine will be sufficient for 3% of total power consumption of Lamma residents, less than 200 households or just enough to light four times the small number of street lights on the island.


Cover of Newsweek magazine, Sep 2004.

To replace the Power Station, we'd need about 10,000 wind turbines, which would fill up an area of more than 10 times the size of the ENTIRE Kowloon Peninsula!


But let's move away from all these technical issues for now. I personally like the idea of a SINGLE wind turbine on Lamma a lot: It'll be great for tourism and Lamma's reputation in general, another cool-looking landmark, a fun discussion point and a source of local pride (FIRST wind turbine in HK!) for Lamma...


The official Lamma name for the wind turbine is "The Magical Spinney Thing" and was coined by Evertimeagoodtime a few months ago. Let's take a few silly & poetic spins:


Samx - famous ex-Lammaite living in Sydney, Oz:

The magical spinney thing reminds me ominously of the Teletubbies windmill. Will it sprinkle magic dust and make Lammaites aerials light up too? Hang on, that already happens, and Fortune Chan is always looking for his bag too.

Oh my God -- Lamma IS TeletubbyLand!

Samson - The Mighty Tai Peng-uin:
Silly Spins on “The Magical Spinney Thing”:

We have all heard about it: a wind turbine on Lamma!  The laudable Lamma-Gung broke the story on the discussion forum and backed it up in editions #30 and #31 of the Lamma-zine.  Still, there are a few silly & scandalous issues that hadn’t been included in the Lamma-zine yet!  Though irrelevant, these are important details too, folks!

Before getting into all of these intricacies, let me just say that dear Lamma-Gung had picked a very fine day as deadline for my submission: just one day after we endured the first very windy typhoon signal #8 of the year, Kompasu.  I know it’s pure coincidence…

Let’s briefly recap the fact that the turbine has yet to have a nickname, like many other exciting Lamma places!  I suggested “Lamma-gizer”, a rather disappointing play on “Energizer” batteries and a comment on how the wind turbine was supposed to power Lamma (though it will be the Cyber-Port tech-heads who get the power first!). 

Everytimeagoodtime suggested “the Magical Spinney Thing”, referring to the ever-so-silly and repetitive again again Teletubbies.  I’m lovin’ that idea – perhaps we can have Lamma-lubbies soon… But only two suggestions?  Come on, get those creative (bean) juices flowing! 

In Hong Kong Electric Company’s (HEC) report, the energy producer highlighted the need to protect the birds by colouring the turbines.  Mr. Birdface, how would you respond to that?  And The Divine Miss D, would you like to make any recommendations on the colour scheme?  Your sense of style will make this work!

I have given that some thoughts too, and this is my humble suggestion.  Since the wind power generator will have three or four turbines, perhaps we should honour some of the Lamma luminaries by painting their photos/avatars on the turbines!


  1. Birdface will have to feature on the axle: Hopefully, the bird that had been blocking the face behind will serve to warn others of the imminent danger!

  2. Lamma-Gung certainly deserves a turbine.  If it weren’t for him, we would have only just learnt of the project!  G’donya Gung.  It’s up to you to present a photo of yourself on the turbine (undoubtedly a great strategy to scare the hell out of the tourists), or your ever-changing avatar (which will be a great advert for the e-Zine!)

  3. Who can possibly forget the Lammadonna election posters last November?  She wouldn’t even be nicknamed so (by yours truly), if it hadn’t been for the posters!  It’s time she promotes her good self and contributes to the green cause by having that poster painted on the turbine!  Lammaites, please note: Big Donna is watching!

  4. How about a turbine for the trinity that is Mr. “you’re so naughty” Bobsy, the “hook-worm” Bookworm Café and Soho’s newest establishment, Life.  Not necessarily in that order!  There’s been so much hype and flak everywhere, so what the heck: if you can’t beat them, join them…

The remaining turbine goes to our Brown Nose Sycophant of the Month!  Is there other ways in which to honour the BNSOTM?  Hardly.  Xerxes, you’re first!

As we know, there’s always more than meets the eye in all Lamma affairs.  This could hold true here, with a joint effort by Lamma-Gung and the local restaurants!  Lamma-Gung’s insatiable appetite for pigeons has been widely reported. To ensure a constant supply, the restaurants have planned this scenario: birds, mainly pigeons, fly occasionally into the spinning turbines, get killed instantly, fall to the power generator, one zap and ding!  A perfectly crisp pigeon for the Gung!  Scandalous!

Finally, a bit of wishful thinking.  With all that talk in the Lamma-zine and forums about Hong Kong’s first attempt at wind power, I wonder if HEC will consider gloating about their excellent environmental friendliness track record by increasing their advertising in the Lamma-zine?


John Newson - Director, Headlong Publishing Ltd

Tel 2982 2145/9752 1927, email:

You ask what should we call Lamma's proposed wind turbine?

Some years ago I shared a Cornish valley with five or six of these little fellers. They never caused offence, always looked cool, and were at their best on the rare occasions when we had a sea-fog and a wind, at which times they would chuff away privately in their secret rooms in the mist, endlessly pouring out rich golden power. Ah, but in a storm though, you'd see them at their most spectacular, whirling and skirling and banging around in the great fists of air until it all gets too violent and they automatically feather their vanes like birds hunkering down in a thunderstorm.

Put an ear to their great warm steel columns and they would speak to you in a high whine of electrons and energy, and in a deep, low mutter of momentum and magnetism. Talking, working, nurturing.

We never had problems with dinosaurs, witches, officials, vampires or hormogaunts because these turbines were our chums, guarding the head of our valley, watching out for the sheep, helping the magic mushrooms to grow and keeping us safely folded away in our cosy little century. To reach us you had to pass by their warding; you had to press through the magic barrier. It seemed amazing to us that Mankind, the great despoliator, could have constructed such friendly and lucky machines.

We called them the Wind-Giants. They were our friends, they held the gate.

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


12.  Do Red Dragonflies Like Drainage Channels?


News about the long-pending drainage channel project from Tai Peng all through the Yung Shue Long (YSL) valley into the harbour:

Due to local protests three years ago it has been scaled back in size to only 150 metres in length, from the bridge at the Refuse Collection Point to the harbour (see maps below). The project will go into the public announcement stage soon, so if you want to lodge objections, you'll get your chance. Details and maps can be found here.


Lammadonna took me on a spontaneous, unplanned site visit to Sha Po Village on July 2, after I met her by chance over breakfast. Drainage problems are a topic close to her heart as it affects many of her friends & constituents. She's very unhappy about the scaling-back of the YSL valley channel, as she's been fighting for it for many years now. She mentioned that, 3 years ago, the YSL channel project was stopped by "Gwailo environmentalists" who care more about the environment than flooding! She claimed regular flooding in that area, including the bridge; considering the new plan insufficient as it won't prevent flooding in the YSL valley. She says that the current existing channel from the Refuse Collection Point to the harbour is too narrow now, old, crumbling, choked with debris & garbage, not wide and deep enough, and mosquito-infested as well. It would be cheaper to widen the channel than paying external subcontractors to remove vegetation & garbage from the current channel frequently.  More photos & infos...

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


Story Poll:  More flowers & insects?


Which story did you like best?


Please vote for your favourite story in this issue in the online poll on!


Results from the last issue: "Lamma Flowers & Insects" won by an amazing percentage of 64% of votes. No. 2 was the "Meet Alain" story with 18%. This means more nature photos & stories in future Lamma-zines!


Which Lamma-zine story did you like best?
1) Meet Alain the World Champion
 17%  [ 3 ]
2) Official Gravity Pocket Researcher
 5%  [ 1 ]
3) Restaurants & Bars - July 2004
 0%  [ 0 ]
4) Oh, Mr Bobsy, You Are Naughty!
 0%  [ 0 ]
5) Tin Hau, Dragonboats, Chinese Opera!
 0%  [ 0 ]
6) The First Strike 2004
 0%  [ 0 ]
7) Cronky, Wonky, Stonky & Honky Donkey
 0%  [ 0 ]
8) Maternal & Child Health Centre Closed!
 0%  [ 0 ]
9) Tapping Into Your Creative Pulse
 0%  [ 0 ]
10) Tell Me About Your Cultural Identity!
 5%  [ 1 ]
11) High Street Fashion For a Rainy Day
 5%  [ 1 ]
12) Lamma Flowers & Insects
 64%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 17

Events Calendar:  September, another very quiet month


This calendar is being frequently updated at

Submit all Lamma-related events for free listing to Lamma-Gung.

For past events, check out the Events Calendar Archives: 2003, 2004.












2nd anniversary Lamma-zine party,

Sunday Roast @ Diesel's,

Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar






Garoupa @ Amnesia


Cococabana Stormy Saturday Fiesta



LegCo Elections,

Sunday Roast @ Diesel's,

Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar



24 Hour Party People!




HKDR 1st Anniv. Party,


Vibes Party



CLAW Adoption & Bazaar Day,

Sunday Roast @ Diesel's,

Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar








Vibes Party



Drumming Session

Sunday Roast @ Diesel's




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar


-Oct 2:

Monthly ferry ticket








Garoupa @ Amnesia: Fri, Sep 10, 9:30pm, Amnesia 3/F, Al Aqmar House, 30 Hollywood Road, Central. (see right)

"Catch Garoupa live and fresh. Enquiries: 2526 8544. Groove to the bait. You'll be hooked...etc."

Gary: "The first round of auditions for this year's Rockit Festival (Oct 23/24, Victoria Park) will be held at Amnesia. Garoupa is scheduled to take the stage at 9:30 p.m. and we'd love it if you could all come along to support us and shout out stuff that makes everyone think that you think we're great. And we, of course, will do our very very best to rock the collective pants off all and sundry. There will be other bands playing that night as well, and a fully stocked bar of course, so you'll be in for a great night's entertainment."


Stormy Saturday Fiesta: Sat, Sep 11, 4-9pm. Cococabana: G/F, 7 Mo Tat Wan, Lamma Island, Tel. 2328-2138 / 9377-7826, website):

Jean Paul: "This Saturday, come and enjoy the storm at the beach front restaurant and bar. To compliment the rain we have invited Tim Tze on the decks, plus, a big welcome back for Carl Parker, who himself has been enjoying the rain and storms of the U.K. for the past few weeks. DJ Carl has promised to bring back some of that great stormy weather from the U.K. as well! En plus, Jean Paul will be cooking up a storm in the kitchen, with some of that food for a rainy day that we all love. So get your umbrellas out, because it's party time. N.B. If the sun comes out……. the party is still on (see below)."


Summer Vibes party: every Sat, Sep 18 (until end-Sep), 4-9pm, Cococabana: G/F, 7 Mo Tat Wan, Lamma Island, Tel. 2328-2138 / 9377-7826). Bathe in the subtropical warmth of a typical local chemical sunset at Cococabana.

Until end of Sep, the beachside restaurant will serve delicious Mediterranean food & ice-cold drinks.


Carl Parker and DJ Jimbo will be spinning at the turntables. Don't worry about getting there, as the restaurant has a speedboat that gets you from Aberdeen or Yung Shue Wan to Lamma in only 10 minutes;

plus, 26 daily ferries go between Aberdeen fish market and the island, plus frequent ferries from Sok Kwu Wan.

Click for poster


Sunday Roast: every Sun, Sep 12, afternoon, Diesel's: vegetarian, chicken, beef, lamb roasts (see right).


Weekend Drumming Session: every Sun, Sep 12, 4:30 pm onwards till dusk, Hilltop Cottage, Lamma Island:

About 15 min. walk from YSW ferry pier (follow the signs). It has an indoor and outdoor space. Fee: $50 per person a day, the money goes towards the venue rental. If you are interested in joining the session:

What to bring: your drum and/or percussion instruments, drinks/water, hat, mozzie repellent. Drum rental available ($50/day, please book in advance with KUMI, tel. 9750-4212).

Enquiry: Sue Shearman, Tel: 9811 7434.


Standard Chartered Night: every Tue, Sep 14 all evening, Island Bar: all standard drinks only $20, if paid with a Standard Chartered Bank note. Click for poster (above left).


24 Hour Party People!: Thu, Sep 16, Club 97, Central:

click for poster:  "Links Relocations are sponsoring a team in the 24 hour boat race at Hebe Haven yacht club and to raise money for the charity (Children with Cancer) we are throwing a big party in Club 97. We have some really beautiful people who have volunteered to be auctioned- even a couple of minor celebrities as well as some donated gifts such as framed photos, dinners and spa treatments- all to raise money. It will be a good night out."


HK Dog Rescue 1st Anniversary Party: Sat, Sep 18, 6-9pm, Aria Restaurant, The Forum, Exchange Square:

"You and your dog friends are invited to help us celebrate our first anniversary with cocktails and nibbles. Tickets $250 per person, dogs free (well behaved and toilet trained please!)

RSVP ESSENTIAL: Please let us know how many dogs are coming (Dog Marquee sponsored by Hamptons International)"


CLAW Bazaar & Adoption Day: Sun, Sep 19, 10am-6pm, outside the former Scorpio biz centre, Back Street, Sha Po Village:

"Please come and visit us, see some of our animals for adoption and learn about our work. As a non-profit, all-volunteer organisation, we keep our services going by selling donated stuff. So please clear out your junk and bring it to us - and then come and buy our goods!

If you can't come on Sun 19th, we are open every day (except Mondays) at our Welfare Centre at 25B Main Street, Yung Shue Wan (2 blocks behind Spicy Island).

Shop hours: 10am-1pm, 2-8pm. Tel: 2982 0800, website"


Monthly ferry ticket: Fri, Sep 29 - Oct 2: Samson, Official Monthly Ferry Ticket Reminderer: "Get a $450 monthly ferry ticket for unlimited travels on the HKKF services during the month of Oct. The counters will be open on Sep 29 - Oct 2. As usual, the Central Pier office is open during the day, 8am-1pm, 2-6pm, and the Yung Shue Wan Pier counter from 5-11pm."


5th Lamma Fun Day: Sun, Nov 21:

Check out the website.

Best of the Month


• Pictures:  Steve found the women of his dreams!


Steve Cray writes: "Just back from the mountains of Yangbi county in Yunnan, south-western China, with the UN (3,000 metres above sea level - lots of climbing, exhausted) visiting the Yi people...

and I think I may have finally found the women of my dreams!"


Lamma Island from Mount Kellett, HK Island:


A postcard I picked up in the fisherman's shop to the left of the Green Cottage (click to enlarge to wallpaper size):


"This island is home to a cosmopolitan mixture of residents to whom it is a peaceful haven in contrast to the crowded urban sprawls pf Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. It is also famous for its seafood restaurants in Yung Shue Wan and Sok Kwu Wan."


Next generation of bank robbers in training:  see right, practicing on Yung Shue Wan's only bank...

Rebuilding the Sok Kwu Wan Tin Hau Temple:  (photo left by anon.)


This formerly beautiful temple at the end of Sok Kwu Wan Main Street burnt out quite a while ago. They seem to be tearing it all down, so they can rebuild it almost from scratch. A sad picture when you consider how amazing it looked before: Sok Wu Wan Dinner.


New Members:


"Brown Mist" under new management: A novel fund-raising scheme has been initiated by a new anonymous member. He bought the well-established member name "Brown Mist" for a cash donation to the running of this magazine. Thank you! It caused serious consternation, confusion and at least one obituary amongst Brown Mist's virtual friends. The loss even spawned a new discussion topic: The loss of Brown Mist and revisionist history in general


"Sarah & Skippy":


Welcome to this local Chinese couple-to-be which has just signed up to the discussion forums. They've incensed quite a few of the trolls on's discussion forum by being so cute and giggly. Welcome to them! Whether they're real or fake, who cares!


• Best Avatar:  Granola Eater


A new member with an avatar picture that really fits his personality very well! He loves the Fight Club and has suffered the consequences on his face...


Congratulations #1:  CLAW has become a Registered Charity!


  e - CCO (Chief CLAW Officer, Chairperson):

"We are glad to announce that we have just been approved as a charitable organisation by the Inland Revenue Department. Donations of $100 or over are now tax-deductible. For more information on our activities, please visit our website:

We have already so far this year found homes for 32 dogs and 20 cats. But we still have 19 dogs (including 10 puppies) and 18 cats (including 1 kitten) who we need to find homes for. These are all animals abandoned on Lamma Island. Please consider taking in an extra animal or two and please ask all your relatives and friends if they can offer a home to these beautiful animals who have been abandoned through no fault of their own. If a permanent home is not possible, please think about taking one or two in temporarily on a foster basis. Thank you!


LAWC would like to thank everyone who came by our party at the Island Bar, and hope everyone had a good time. We know we did - with live music from Mike Barry and the Garoupa and a fabulously amazing magic show by Rob Rogers. We would like to thank these gentlemen, everyone at the Island Bar and all who came by to show your support for our work and your love for the animals.

Also our thanks go to all the volunteers who helped us make the party such a huge success."


CLAW created an extremely informative & fun party quiz which is so good & insightful that I'd like to share it with all pet-loving readers: CLAW Quiz (Word format).


Meanwhile, more and more cutesy (and successful) posters by LAP are popping up on the Democracy Wall (see above left).


Congratulations #2:  Launch of "Positive News Hong Kong":


"Positive News Hong Kong is being launched this summer in cooperation with Positive News Publishing in the UK. Positive News is a unique newspaper dedicated to bringing about a better world by inspiring readers with positive stories.

It carries articles about people taking courageous steps to improve the quality of life for themselves and others, and covers topics such as healthy living, ethical businesses, complementary therapies, organic food, the environmental movement and community initiatives.


From a global perspective, the need to create a peaceful and sustainable future is becoming increasingly obvious. From our point of view here in Hong Kong, we strongly believe that this city can greatly benefit from a positive vision of the world and a greater sense of connectedness with it. Advertising is now available. Positive News HK: Tel 2982 2807, Peter Lloyd"


  Get your free copy in Green Cottage or Bookworm Café!


Message:  About Pinky's historic guesthouse:


k@ wrote: "I think the Pink One was attempting to fill her guesthouse, and the old ruins she bought.

The notice probably said...

Travelling to Hong Kong on a budget?

Come to Lamma Island straight from the airport.

Lowest rents in Hong Kong

Hippies and drug addicts welcome

Free Drugs, Booze and Fish provided

Sex for six-pence even if you're ugly or Italian

Nice Beach, English Spoken"


Invasion:  "Angry from Lamma" in DbAY:


The "Best Invasion of the Month" happened when some of the trolls on the forums decided to invade the Discovery Bay forums at It even inspired Harry to create this cartoon, illustrating how many DbAY residents view us Lammaites. went down for almost half a day on Friday, Aug 6, due to serious problems in the US hosting company. Our troll members got so bored by not being able to read and post messages at work. So they decided spontaneously to infiltrate the open forums (no registration required) of Have a look at the zany & offensively funny messages of FUBAR Chan, Turdburglar, Brainlessonlamma, Mudfish, Mr. Bean, Big Brownie, Submissive and other Lammaites-in-disguise invading DbAY: Angry from Lamma:


Fortune Chan:

We, the residents of Lamma, are sick and tired of designer-clad DB residents pushing us aside as they make a grab for the best of the reduced items in City!Super before they hot hoof it away to their model city aboard slick and clean fast ferries. We may not dress well but, be warned, we sure can fight.

Response to this and similar messages from Lammaites was swift and vengeful:


Is life so boring over there at Lamma that you sleazebags have to sit on the computer all day slagging off at decent people? Why don't you have a good look at your Lamma forums and see how your residents get pissed off by bicycles and village vehicles? Take your foul mouths back to your own part of the world, we don't want your kind here." Unbelievable...don't these little snots have anything better to do?"

Another DB resident:

Hey Lamma boy, stop playing around on the computer and go make me some more coffee! And when your done with that tell your mom to head over to my $6M flat and clean it's tough to get good help nowadays!

Guy Miller:

But when I was over in DB I got really confused... There are real people there thingying real people There are real people not thingying real people but pretending to thingy real people real people are thingying those people back there are not real people thingying real people and getting thingyd back by not real people and there are not real people thingying not real people and getting thingyd back by real people. And not only that but it seems that everybody has multiple personalities on there anyway.


Joke:  3 Guy Millers & 3 Fortune Chans:


Sherlock: 3 Guy Millers and 3 Fortune Chans

Three Guy Millers and three Fortune Chans are all travelling by train to the trade show in Shenzhen. At the station, the three Guy Miller’s each buy tickets and watch as the Fortune Chans buy only a single ticket. "How are Fortune Chans going to travel on only one ticket?" wonders one of the Guys. "Watch, and you'll see," replies one of the Fortunes.

They all board the train. The Guy Millers take their respective seats while all three Fortune Chans cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Guy Millers see this and agree it is quite a clever idea. After the trade show, armed with their multi jet showerheads, the Guy Millers decide to copy the Fortune Chan trick on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Fortune Chans don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Guy Miller. "Watch, and you'll see," replies one of the Fortune Chans.

When they board the train the three Guy Millers cram into a restroom and the three Fortune Chans into another one nearby. The train departs. A few moments later, one of the Fortune Chans leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Guy Millers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."


• Mystery:  Who's K???


These posters have been popping up in several places a few weeks ago. But we still couldn't figure out the identity of the Mysterious K and why he's got a "Gathering"... Any information about his/her whereabouts will be gladly accepted & published!


Complaint:  This forum is becoming Guy Miller Dot Com:


Another new member has joined and his "controversial style" of messaging generated a flood of postings. So much so, that members started complaining that This forum is becoming Guy Miller Dot Com. Why does he post so many messages, even moving into the #10 slot in the list of Top Posters overall, after just a few weeks! He's trying to answer the question for himself, giving some valid (and some silly) reasons for the enduring popularity of message boards, decades after their invention:


Guy Miller: And why do you come online in the middle of the night?

Maybe you have the answer already.

Or maybe it's:

sheer bloodymindedness,

or good sport,

or fun,

or boredom,

or attention seeking,

or a longing to belong,

or a dislike of bullies,

or a dislike of "clever" idiots,

or I like antagonising people,

or a chance to express an alter ego,

or as a release valve,

or I'm a sycophant,

or I enjoy cybertalk,

or I don't enjoy bars,

or I'm taking time out from the "real" world,

or I like to idea of a forum where people on Lamma can express themselves,

or it's a good filler between bouts of work,

or I've always wanted to go to Coventry,

or my glass is only half full,

or multiples of the above,

or all of the above,

or each of the above at different times,

or none of the above & maybe I'm just dysfunctional.




This is Greg & Craig's website about all their ball-related children's classes on Lamma. See photo galleries of the guys in action and their very impressive ways of motivating kids in a fun & creative way (see right):

Fit Kids, Lamma Basketball Club, Football Club, Training Aids and Equipment, Football Match,... For details of their highly recommended kids classes, click here.

Steve Cray has added a Muay Thai section to his own site, plus the full article & a photo gallery about Alain's world champion fight in Bangkok. The main site for the fight against the monster Super Prison project on Lantau, recently revamped and now featuring cartoons by Gavin Coates, cartoonist of The Standard!

A recent website, advertised on the walls, a Blog about all things Macintosh by a real expert, with a major dose of politics, described by the site's own creator, a long-time Lamma Celebrity: "An Apple Macintosh conspiracy based in Hong Kong with occasional delusional rants about the insanity of the modern world."

Guess who? has become "Tibetan Man"! This site has been totally redone and relaunched on Aug 4, featuring an exotic & rare palaeo-anthropology "argument that humankind did not originate in Africa but Tibet"!

The former touristic content is all gone, including all the party photos; except the great, but out-of-date Lamma Virtual Tour (1999 ferry schedules). The home page of the Virtual Tour now states:


"The other sections of the site depended on maintenance by clubs and societies, which normally resulted in them expecting me to do it for them! So, when I needed a base for this new project, I'm afraid these sections had to go. The Virtual Tour is designed for potential visitors to Lamma Island and provides a very extensive introduction to PIRL (The People's Independent Republic of Lamma)."


It's like the end of an era in "Lamma on the internet"! This website predecessor of now states: " is a site promoting and coordinating research into hominid evolution. An argument that humankind did not originate in Africa but Tibet". It postulates that our ancestors might have been aquatic apes (see right) in the Tibetan ocean 10 millions years ago. It also states that "It is certainly not helped by unqualified people like me putting forward proposals that are against current beliefs and without any shred of evidence!" Which sums up all the site's arguments accurately, I think.


Media Watch:  Lammaites in the news...


• Clipping #1:  Lamma Viking pillaging & plundering IKEA:


Lammaite Polish Chris can be admired as a Viking in an IKEA commercial on Chinese terrestrial TV. Nick the Bookman almost got a role as well with his very suitable beard and his wife Marilena's Finnish Viking ancestry! But, unfortunately, Nick wasn't portly enough...


Clipping #2:  Animal Abuse March:


Sheila, LAP:

"Here are some photos of the animal abuse march. So many lovely people took the time to go and it was a very warm and uplifting experience. Actually, it was more than warm, it was terribly hot! People from LAP, HKDR, Cat Salvation Army, Humane Society International and HKSPCA were there.


I have attached a few photos ... I know how you like visuals! My favourite (despite my being in it) is the one of Simba reading the poster (above right). Chica was a superstar (above left)! The press loved her. You may have seen her picture around Lamma.

Sheila McClelland, Lamma Animal Protection

Tel: 2982 4018,

Fostering harmony between the human and non-human animals of our world, and a philosophy of respect for life."


Clipping #3: Tales from the Underground:


Michael Peart (left) and Chris Bowers (right, or left?) are giving live music fans fresh reasons to visit Joe Bananas in Wan Chai.  By Clare Tyrrell,

(C) SCM Post (incl. photos). Story excerpts:


"It's a good bet this was the first time a band from Mongkok had dressed in drag and donned gas masks to play goth metal at Joe Bananas. The audience was stunned by the heavy makeup, PVC garb and post-Sars accessories - and now word of that May 20 performance has spread.


...I'm stunned when I swing open the doors of JBs. The windows are blacked out, and inside is an unlikely assembly of suits, tourists, locals, expats, punks and prostitutes. All appear thoroughly entertained by the raw, 1980s-inspired rock being thrashed out by the five-piece Flowers of Babylon.


...This is the new group fronted by Peart, lawyer by day and rock singer/promoter by night. He sweats buckets as he twangs his guitar and shouts agitprop down the long, crowded bar. ICAC is a moody groove reminiscent of The Cure or The Jesus and Mary Chain. Beside him, a tattooed Eurasian guitar goddess swings her purple-tinted tresses and screams: "We're the ICAC and we're better than Scotland Yard!" That's Chris Bowers, renowned local rock-chick and a co-organiser of the night. To add to the drama, a video is played on a huge screen and on TV monitors throughout the club. It depicts Peart in Hong Kong Park, accepting bribes from another suited westerner while an ICAC agent hides behind a potted plant, before nabbing the pair. As the chorus rages, the wobbly camera focuses in on the ICAC logo...


..."I wonder if people think we're a reggae band," says Bowers as she joins our table. "I like it, looking beautiful on the outside but actually we're full of sin." Best known for her previous female rock outfit Sisters of Sharon, the guitarist took time out from her current band Thinking Out Loud to join Peart's Flowers. The Flowers are comprised of former members of PNS, Bowers and a local keyboardist who has never been in a band before.


..."It was a really bizarre night," says Bowers of the group's show with a cackle of laughter. "I walked in and they had gas masks on. I saw all the people staring with their mouths hanging open."...


Clipping #4:  Hip or hype?  (SCMP story about "Voice for Justice" concert):


bbChris: "The Democracy Concert that we played on 25 June was great fun and the whole evening ended up with King Lychee creating a mosh pit!!

Democracy + ROCK - a winning combination! If you missed the SCMP article, here's the link."


Clipping #5:  Bobsy & Katherine in Papermag New York:


This NY lifestyle magazine has been interviewing them on the street 4 years ago, but the internet link has only recently been discovered by some sneaky Lammaites. Excerpts from the interview in NY:


"Katherine and Bobsy were out enjoying the fine Fall weather, refreshingly different from the humid climate of their hometown, HK.

Q: What are you up to here in New York? You look like you're about to dash off to the mountains in a VW convoy.

Bobsy: Well, we just walked out of the health shop, where we've been stuffing our faces with delicious organic foods.

Q: What are the guiding principles behind your style?

Bobsy: Happiness and freedom. I like to be happy and I like to show that, which is why I wear flowered shirts, because I think they're quite striking, attractive, happy and colorful.

Q: Any advice for style or beauty?

Bobsy: Yeah. Live in the now and eat what nature intended you to eat ... works every time.

And there go the healthiest folk we're likely to see in the city for some time. Shop hard while you're in Capitalist Central, kids!"


• Clipping #6:  The Official Court Artist on RTHK Radio 3:


Andee M. (The Aggressively Shy Stick Insect Hunter) was scheduled to be interviewed by his friend Malcolm Golding on Phil Whelan's Saturday morning program about his first exhibition in HK. But he couldn't find the studio in time, so he missed this great opportunity. They joked about him live on the show: "The artist who made a statement by NOT showing up!" Nice one, Andee, at least I'm not the only one making fun of you!


• Clipping #7:  Bobsy & Katherine in HK Trader:

The best alternative for enterprising people: This has been published by the TDC in June 2003 - during less busy & happier times for the couple. It tells an intriguing story of how Bobsy came to Lamma, quite a different version from what I've heard.


• Clipping #8:  Andy Windebank on TVB:

Being interviewed about auto racing. The CEO of the HK Automobile Assoc. living on an auto-free island?


Clipping #9:  Andrew Shields in SCMP:

Go-it-alone architect rides post-SARS wave


Clipping #10: Recent ex-Lammaite Ran in the SCM Post


Clipping #11: Alain & Pierre in Star TV commercial: watch video


This Media Watch section depends on YOUR input!

Whenever you see Lamma or a Lammaite mentioned in any media (print, online, TV, etc),

any language, please let me know

STORIESLeaving Lamma | Bishop Zen | High Degree of Atrocity | Where on Lamma? | What Kind of Shop | Tai Peng Castle

This Alternative Cabaret  | Restaurants & Bars | Alastair | Strictly Fashionable | Magical Spinney Thing | Drainage Channel

Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


Emails to the Editor:  Frequent fits of nostalgia...


Skid Funk:

It's funny, every time I read the zine, memories come flooding back. The one I'm thinking of at the moment is: the night the Island Bar got raided, and the police had been badly informed, and Dick ended up being away for Christmas, and Lovatt stripped naked in front of the toilets. My last band gig was at DickStock 97.

I have been away from a computer for ages and a little "sinicle" email to the editor could be fun, so if I think of something...

Cheers for now, Mark Falkingham


As usual, it's always good to receive news about Lamma Island. Thanks to you!

Bobsy - "Life" Restaurant, SOHO:

...all the best for now. I'm a fan of your work.

Victor Meldrew - Fight Club inhabitant:

Having just read this months excellent Lammazine, I got to the part of the BNSOTM brown nosing from yourself. I think that the brown nosing of Xerxes could have been at least half a page of brown nosing instead we got a few paltry lines, you wrote more about yourself being runner-up. I know Xerxes had to brown nose extremely hard to win this prestigious award and deserves a lot more brown nosing from you than he got.

Guy Miller - No. 10 most frequent message poster:

Got an idea for a feature in the zine. House & Garden - different home featured each month - decoration etc. How'd you like that one - could find out how & why people live on Lamma.

Deirdre - Healing Art Workshop:

The magazine looked good, and thank you for the write up. I liked the 'silly stuff' tag.


Jay Scott Kanes: "Story Suggestion: Politically Explosive Book by Lamma Resident":

Dear Lamma-zine,

If permissible, I aim to draw your attention to the new Hong Kong novel, High Degree of Atrocity, written by a Lamma Islander, namely myself.

Should you consider this a suitable Lamma-zine subject, I'll gladly provide you with a review copy and strive to co-operate.


And by the way, Lamma-Gung, I wanted to say how much I enjoyed the July issue (and all the others) of Lamma-zine. For ex-Lammaites who frequently get fits of nostalgia for our old home, your magazine is wonderful.

In fact, our nostalgia fits are getting more and more intense and we may well end up back there soon. Thanks for all your great work.

Roberta (friend of Annie Knibb)

Sheila - LAP:

Thanks for your comments on my cutesy poster! Sadly someone is unwilling to allow the posters to help the animals find homes. As soon as a poster is put up some malicious person takes ALL the contact details off and scratches the words! Hmmm, someone has too much time on their hands!

I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you for your Susan mockery, especially as my sugary poster worked and she is homed (several times over)!

I was really pleased to see your comments. It was making fun in a fun way and I would like to thank you! Plus, I am very relieved to learn you are house-trained...

Andrew Shields - Dragonboat photos:

It was very kind of you to credit me with the photos of the Dragon Boat team. However, they were my wife, Dawn Roughsedge's photos. I just sent them to you.

Reply from Editor: Very sorry! I hope not to have caused any domestic disturbances! Great photos, Dawn!


Samson - The Mighty-But-Naughty Tai-Penguin & Official Court Translator & Official Monthly Ferry Ticket Reminderer:

Thanks for yet another riveting edition of the Lamma-Zine. I'd like to say a few more positive things about the e-zine, but I shall withhold - fearing a nomination for the BNSOTM poll... Still, there're a few things that I've been pondering upon in the past few weeks...

(1) In the Alain photos, I can't help but notice that the World Champ holds up his fists in a lot of the shots. Does he get tired from constantly holding up his fists? How would Alain react if the paparazzi take a photo?

(2) You mentioned the inconvenience caused by a massive mountain bike being parked inside "Honey Bee". However, I have looked at your photos of the dessert restaurant but there was no mountain bike inside... By the way, a little bird told me that the human slave to Lamma's most celebrated cat, Mr. 3, tried the mango sago (Mong Guo Sai Mai Lo) and said it was full'o mango and very tasty.

(3) What a shame that our researcher was trapped by a time-warped gravity pocket... a lot like gravity itself, that sucks...

On that downward note, I shall again express my gratitude for Lamma-Zine #31. Looking forward to the next one!

Dennis - USA, planning to move to Lamma:

You are so damn kind to respond so quickly. Thank you. By the way that is some Zine you have there. I have never seen a zine so packed with information and pictures. How do you have any time?

Xerxes - Brown-Nosed Sycophant of the Month:

Sorry for getting back to you so late. Yes, did see the brown nosing, not a bad job at all - shame I didn't have my avatar then - I enjoy the mag & the website, especially the forums which gives the usually passive folks of Lamma a chance to let off steam and argue over the finer points of island life: Are the bikes going too fast? Are pedestrians too slow ? Seeing strange creatures people have come across while using the loo.

Keep up the good work, LG, and I look forward to the next issue.

About Lamma-zine:  Another record month!


Half banner ad,

200*200 pixels,


For the month of July, the and Lamma-zine websites reached all-time high numbers: over 0.8 million hits! There were 13,300 visitors looking at over 77,000 pages, generating 8.63 GB of website traffic! A big party is planned as soon as we reach 1 million hits! Maybe this month?


On Aug 12, we had the most visitors ever in a single day: 725!

On Sep 2, we had the most pages viewed in a single day: 4,616!


These sites have grown into an effective advertising platform for individuals & businesses who want to reach large numbers of Lammaites and "friends of Lamma" all over HK. A number of new advertising & sponsorship options have been introduced this month (Sep), starting at $115/month. Check it out! Help to make the Lamma-zine self-supporting, covering its costs!


Next Issue:  2nd Anniversary - Oct 2004


*  Retrospective of two years of Lamma-zines

*  Photo Galleries: record tides, sunsets, best Lamma posters,...

*  Eat well on Lamma for $20/day

*  Positive News, Hong Kong edition

*  Gravity Pocket Researcher escaping from time warp

*  Signs you've lived off Lamma for too long


If you've got any hot news, tips, ideas, stories or photos:

Leave a message at 9236 0434 or email

Deadline for submissions & advertising/sponsorship: Sep 30.

Click here for a spam-free subscription!

readers since July 1, 2003;  2,636 readers July 1 - Sep 17, 2004;

Last update: February 23, 2005 10:25 AM

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STORIESLeaving Lamma | Bishop Zen | High Degree of Atrocity | Where on Lamma? | What Kind of Shop | Tai Peng Castle

This Alternative Cabaret  | Restaurants & Bars | Alastair | Strictly Fashionable | Magical Spinney Thing | Drainage Channel

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