|
Story Poll: Harry's the winner!
Which
story did you like best?
Please
click here to vote for your favourite story in the online poll
on Lamma.com.hk!
But you
need to be a registered Lamma.com.hk member. Only a username
and active email address is needed:
click to register.
Thank
you so much for helping to improve the Lamma-zine!
 Results from
the last issue: Harry's cartoon won hands down (4 of 11
votes)!
I
suggested to Harry to take over the magazine, but he replied in his
typically modest (and cynical?) way that "My
cartoon is just a bit of frilly stuff on the top of your fine work."
What a
nice guy!
|
Which Lamma-zine story did you like best? |
| 1) The Loveliest Place on
Lamma! |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 2) Restaurants & Bars -
April 2004 |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 3) Land of Herbs & Veggies
at the Beach |
|
10% |
[ 1 ] |
| 4) Sexy Biaatch of Boracay |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 5) Sacred Drums on Kublai's
Kahn |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 6) Nadia - Second-hand
Artist? |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 7) Like an Indian Village? |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 8) First-ever Female
Cricket Club Captain |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 9)
We're Getting a Wind Turbine |
|
30% |
[ 3
] |
| 10) Very Temporary Helipad |
|
20% |
[ 2 ] |
| 11) Inside & Beyond the
Typhoon Shelter |
|
0% |
[ 1 ] |
| 12) Doggy Island |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
|
Harry's cartoon |
|
40% |
[ 4
] |
|
|
| Total Votes : 11 |
•
Brown-Nosed Sycophant
of the Month:
This much more popular poll (40 votes!) was also recently concluded
in typical Lamma fashion, following in the spirit of the recent
Official Village Idiot poll.
Check out
the poll details and
congratulate the winner,
Xerxes, who won with 12 of the 40 votes.
Mr Xerxes, very appropriately named after
a great & famous Persian king, is a fine & outstanding example of the
brownest of brown noses populating some areas of Lamma.com.hk. The
glory, honour and accolades of being Lamma's Officially Elected
"Brown-Nosed Sycophant of the Month" belong to him and him alone! Hail
to thee, Xerxes the Great!
Lamma-Gung was
elected a runner-up in this poll (10 votes), so I was obliged to
brown-nose the winner above - which I have just done (Yuck!). I
suggested this stupid idea myself without considering that I might
actually be voted a runner-up myself! Thanks and no-thanks, Mr k@,
for rallying all your ex-Lammaite and other friends worldwide to vote
for me! I'll get you for this if you'll ever return to Lamma! Now I've
got to clean & disinfect my sullied nose...
Events Calendar: June & July - quiet months
This calendar is being frequently updated at
Lamma.com.hk.
Submit
all Lamma-related events for free listing to
Lamma-Gung.
For past
events, check out the Events Calendar Archives: 2003, 2004.
 every Tue, July 13: all evening, Island Bar:
Standard
Chartered Night: all standard drinks only $20, if paid
with a Standard Chartered Bank note.
Wed, June 16, 7:30pm, Bookworm Café:
Aromatics for Pets
workshop: $50, English, Tel 2982 0800.
Click for poster
 Thu, June 17, Deli Lamma,
7-9pm:
Wine Tasting by Vinoasis:
Free, but call 2982 1583 for reservations!
Australian red &
white wines from
Blue Roo
-
New South Wales,
Red Devil
-
Margaret River,
Rosabrook Estate -
Margaret River.
click for poster
Thu, June 17-21, Teluk Bahang
Dam, Penang, Malaysia: Lamma women will be representing Hong Kong at
the 25th Anniversary
Penang International Dragon Boat
Festival!
Sat, June 19, 8-11am, near the Clinic:
Morning Sale:
click for poster (PDF format)
 Sat, June 19, 7pm onwards:
"Life" opening
party: Nathan Kaye, flying in from Australia for a gig,
strictly by invitation only. Get an invite from Life in person or
contact Bobsy.
Sun, July 11, 4:30 pm onwards
till dusk, Hilltop Cottage, Lamma Island:
Weekend
Drumming Session:
About 15 min. walk from YSW ferry pier
(follow the signs). It has an indoor and outdoor space. Fee: $50 per
person a day, the money goes towards the venue rental:
"The weekly drumming session is
open to anyone who'd like to drum freely, enjoy the green nature or
meet other drummers in town. Whether you are an absolute beginning
beginner, or super-doper drummer, come and drum! EVERYONE IS
WELCOME!!!!
If you are
interested in joining the session, please read the information
carefully at www.drumjam.com.hk"
 What to bring: your drum and/or
percussion instruments, drinks/water, hat, mozzie repellent.
Drum rental available ($50/day, please
book in advance with KUMI, tel. 9750-4212). Enquiry: Sue Shearman,
tel: 9811 7434.
 Sun, June 20, Chai Wan:
Lamma Dragons boat races,
350 m, men.
Tue, June 22, Stanley:
Lamma Dragons
boat races
Fri, June 25, Music Room Live
(ex-Jazz Club), Lan Kwai Fong, 2/F, 34-36 D'Aguilar St, 10pm:
NUDE:
crisp and refreshing afrobeat and disco-funk, $100
 Tue, June 29 - July 6, 7-11pm,
Karin Weber
Gallery, G/F 20 Aberdeen Street, corner Hollywood Road,
Central:
Carolyn O'Neill
-
The Forgotten: Photo exhibition &
reception by HK Dog
Rescue: phone 9448 1128,
email, website.
"Carolyn has assembled a portfolio of black &
white prints featuring the dogs of the HK Dog Rescue organisation.
She photographs only in black & white,
preferring to use only film.. The
photographs will be a mix of portraits and pathos, showing the story
of the dogs from kennels to their new life. All of the (framed) photos
will be for sale. Tickets cost $50, proceeds go to HK Dog Rescue."
Sat,
July 3, 8pm, Concerto Inn, Hung Shing Yeh beach:
Farewell party for
Doggy & family. NUDE & Garoupa performing, plus DJs.
Best of
the Month
 • Pictures:
NO
FLAMING
 The Official Court Artist
has been visiting Lamma several times recently. This photo on Main
Street, vis-a-vis the Deli Lamma was taken by an anonymous friend:
"The authorities in Hong Kong are very
concerned about proper homosexual behavior. Excessive gayety and
shameless flaming can not be tolerated under no circumstances. Of
course, anything that might make the floor wet is totally out of
question."
Dispelling any sexual-orientation-orientated rumours that might be
started by this picture, here's a close-up of Andy's arm, featuring
his wife's name...
  1st July 2004
-
Democracy
Protest March
Quite a number of Lammaites joined over half a million "Champions
of democracy" (SCMP cover headline) on the Handover Day protest march!
Click on the headline or photos for some great & passionate photos
taken by bbChris! I liked Shaun's fashionable "umbrella hat" the most!
These little "photographic accidents" often make for the best photos!
Centipede reloaded:
 June 1, 2004: Photo from yesterday morning, on
Lamma-Gung's bathroom carpet, 2.5 inch body length w/o legs & feelers,
almost 10 inches w/legs & feelers. This photo was taken shortly after
the little horror story below:
Early morning in my bathroom, still sleepy & drowsy, I took my
shirt off a hook and started putting it on. I noticed something
crawling on my naked skin under my left armpit, spotting it in the
mirror. Spooked, I instantly brushed it off with my hand. It ran off
hiding under some stuff in the bathroom corner.
Closing the bathroom door to avoid it escaping, I grabbed the Raid(TM) bug spray. I sprayed under the stuff,
carefully removing it, till the aggravated centipede came out running
quickly towards me. I sprayed some more bug spray on it, but it didn't
slow down much. So I used the edge of the spray can bottom as a
weapon, decapitating it! Not sleepy at all anymore, I was wide awake
at that point!
Several legs of the centipede continued twitching for at least half
an hour. It's a specimen in a jar now, the first centipede ever in our
flat in 2.5 years. It can be viewed and examined by the public on
special request, for a modest fee of more effective bug spray...
Maybe in a few more days, or weeks, or months, Lamma-Por might
enter the bathroom again...maybe...
 •
Website:
www.hkoutdoors.com
• Bug:
Pergesa Actea (Cramer Moth)
 Since the creepy-crawly season is
well under way now, here's a picture of a well-designed, camouflaged
and very aerodynamic-looking moth sitting on my flat's door. Anybody
know what it is?
Uncle Guy, our newly appointed "Official Court
Lepidopterist-in-residence" (butterfly & moth expert), correctly
identified this pretty bug, eh, moth, and has joined our eminent
senior moderator Zep in answering questions in the
Flora &
Fauna forum.
 • Bird:
Cattle
Egret
• Quiz:
Top 10
Lamma Birds
• Tree:
Acacia
Confusa
•
Odd Story:
Sailors
jump ship to escape 'pirates' off Lamma
• Guessing
Game:
Where on
Lamma?
This little game I've started recently has become quite popular. We
put photos of Lamma sights and objects online and people need to guess
the exact location:
Guessing
Game
 • Congratulations:
Lamma band Garoupa will put one of their tracks onto a
compilation CD by EMI!
| Album |
Genre |
| No. 1: Black-Eyed Peas |
Elephunk |
| Simply The
Best Reggae Album |
Compilation |
| Everything
But The Girl |
Best of |
| Songs to make
you feel good |
Compilation |
| Red Hot Chili
Peppers |
Greatest hits |
| Happy Mondays |
Best of |
| Budweiser
Karaoke hits |
Compilation |
| Best of No. 1
Hits 2004 |
Dance
compilation |
| School Disco
Summer Holiday |
80's dance
compilation |
| Marvin Gaye |
Greatest hits |
• Top 10:
Jukebox Hit Parade:
As a music lover, do you ever wonder what's popular in the
jukeboxes in Lamma's bars & restaurants? No? Well, I'll tell you
anyway!
Submitted by an anonymous expert:
"This is the June hit parade, albums selected
by the guests and recorded by the Jukebox Junction software in the
following bars: Deli Lamma, Fountainhead, Diesel's, Y2K and Island
Bar. Hits in no particular order, except No. 1.
No. 1 last month: Red Hot Chili Peppers."
• Pet Peeve:
Lamma Ferries Fare Increase:
|
Oriental Daily (May
20, 2004) - translated by our newly appointed Official
Court Translator Samson the Tai Peng-uin:
Rising oil
prices are set to make a bigger impact on Hong Kong, as the
operator of the Lamma Island to Central and Aberdeen ferry
services, Hong Kong and Kowloon Ferry, announced their application
to the Transport Department for a fare increase.
The company
proposed to raise fares for its 3 Lamma routes (Yung Shue Wan to
Central, Sok Kwu Wan to Central, and Yung Shue Wan to Aberdeen via
Pak Kok) by $1, which represents a 6-10% increase. The Public
Holidays special fare will remain unchanged. This is due to HKKF’s
consideration that a fare rise on the weekend may bring negative
impact to the tourism industry.
Miss Chow Chuen-heung, Vice
President of the Islands District Council, said yesterday that
HKKF had sought community views on the issue. She said Lamma
residents representatives felt that the economy has only begun
showing signs of recovery, and hoped that HKKF will consider
putting off the fare rise until the end of year. |
Mr. Ng
Siu-yuen, HKKF General Manager, said the company has incurred
losses up to $12 million since they began operating the services.
He said HKKF was dealt with a further blow as the number of
passengers has dropped since the downturn in the property market
in recent years. The downturn drove down rental costs in the city,
and in turn caused a fall in population of Lamma Island.
Mr. Ng said
the proposed fare increase would not bring HKKF’s accounting books
back to the black, but merely increase the company’s cash flow. He
explained that fuel costs now represent approximately 30% of the
company’s operating costs, so the higher oil and fuel prices will
put considerable pressure on fares. Mr. Ng revealed that an
“additional fuel charge” was considered, but HKKF had shelved the
idea as it discovered that the arrangement may be too
controversial and costly to implement.
HKKF had
previously applied to the HKSAR Government for a fare rise in
2001, but the application was withdrawn due to the grim state of
the economy.
The Transport Department confirmed that
it had received an application for fare rise from HKKF. The
Department is still studying the application and no decision is
made yet. |
• Messages
(posted on Lamma.com.hk):
|
 leglessonlamma
(commenting
on the planned $1 Lamma ferries fare increase):
May be we
should follow the brown nose approach to this rather than be
confrontational. Here is a draft letter.
Dearest Ferry
Company
We thank you
for providing an exceptional and essential ferry service to and
from Lamma. We know that we are totally unworthy of the excellent
service you provide and fully appreciate that we don’t deserve any
service greater than that for required for the safe delivery of
cattle. In fact we are very lucky that you don’t make us row the
boat to Lamma while whipping us to go faster.
We are
however, dare we say, extremely concerned about the proposed fare
increase and the effect that it will have on our measly budgets
and miserable lives. A dollar each way adds up to a fistful over a
week. It is equivalent to 3 of the cheapest cans of beer at the
Seats of Shame or a skanky fat one, which we use strictly to
relieve our medical conditions, both physical and psychological.
We are afraid
that with the increase we can no longer afford to go work. As the
cost benefit of leaving dog pooh island for our paltry wages will
leave us in debt. This can only result in the ferry company losing
revenue and commence a viscous spiral of fare increases and lower
turnover.
Therefore, we
suggest that the esteemed ferry company seeks alternatives to
raising the fares. Some ideas are as follows:-
Limit the
speed of the ferry to less than 2 knots.
Install oars
such that we can row and maximise fuel efficiency, the dragon boat
team are very strong this year. |
Install a bar
at the back that some can hang off the back and kick paddle the
boat, safety is not an issue.
Introduce a
weight charge such that fat people pay more.
Start selling
beer and drugs on the ferry.
Switch off
the air con.
Switch off
the lights.
Drop the Pak
Kok service, the walk to Yung Shue Wan will do them the world of
good.
We feel sure
that by considering these measures that it could at least
partially mitigate the need for the fare increase, possibly to
under 50 cents.
Finally we
thank you for taking your valuable time to read our humble request
and assure that our noses are at the ready anytime you bend over.
Yours Sincerely,
Lamma
Residents
 Birdface:
Fight Club is causing instability to Lamma society:
The Central
government's National People's Congress has had a closed door
session and decided that Fight Club is causing instability to
Lamma society.
The Lamma
population are not considered mature enough yet for full fight
club access.
You will be happy to know, though, that
there will be a gradual and orderly development towards the
reinstatement of Fight Club in due course, certainly before 2047. |
Media Watch: Lammaites in the news...
 • Topic #1:
"Ideal
Husband" lives on Lamma!
See SCMP
story on the left, click to read.
• Topic
#2: Su Burnett, "Animal Communicator"
Our local Pet Psychic has been generating quite some publicity
recently, being interviewed on Radio 3, RTHK,
Apr 29, noon, "Morning Brew" by Phil Whelan & Kate, plus a 2nd
live interview, same show, on Fri,
May 14, 12:30pm. Click on dates or check the
archives.
Plus an in-depth SCMP story below:
 •
Topic #3:
Hong Kong's 'horse whisperer'
works to soothe stressed animals: Article in SCMP, Sun, Apr 25
(see SCMP photo on right).
• Topic
#4:
bbChris
interview in SCM Post Magazine:
 Reading this frank phone
interview, now we know that she's addicted to music and sex,
"not necessarily at the same time". Why
not?
Always in PR mode, she's asked me to include some info on Aaron
Calhoun, who she's been promoting and showing around HK recently.
Okey-dokey:
www.AaronCalhoun.com
"He's gigging in Hong Kong and Shazza Music
is sponsoring his band to be here!! Aaron's currently staying on Lamma
and may play a surprise gig at a
local Lamma establishment - I'll let you know
if it happens. Not often an HMV
Jazz artist is living on Lamma!! hahahahahaa
And I can quite happily say I'm the only
music publisher/promoter living
on Lamma!!
wooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo"
 • Topic #5:
Young Peterson Harbors a Dream
A friendly & fun article on local ice-hockey-star-to-be Andrew in
the Toronto Star! See his Lamma residence on the right.
• Topic #6:
A
woman, a rooster and a love that couldn't be:
Happy news from Ah Lui: "No, he wanders
around freely, including into the front of my house, shitting
everywhere." Click for
latest
bad news.
 • Topic #7:
Andy's weekly incredible creative profanities
"May 8: The Aggressively Shy Stick
Insect Hunter (ASS-IH) is a newspaper dude now. Starting today, you
can read my incredible creative profanities every Saturday in the
Philippine Daily Inquirer, the largest newspaper in the
Philippines. My ass goes nationwide, oh yeahhh." See
left.
His first weekly column carried a warning from the editor:
"This is a WARNING
The SEARCH for unbroken ground is never an
easy one, and rarely is it even a pretty one. Often pushing the
envelope means we have to suffer a few perspective papercuts in the
process. But with a specimen such as Andy Maluche, we at Super! at
INQUIRER had little choice but to feature this vagabond of the visual
vices.
The following showcases his unique
photographs and philosophies. Some material may offend those faint at
heart, but then again, that's the point of art, isn't it? Welcome to
Andy Land, fasten your seatbelts, say your prayers, and kiss your
pre-conceptions goodbye. You have been WARNED."
 Unfortunately, soon afterwards, bad news
from Andy:
"I have been fired as a newspaper columnist.
Since I was fired for being too crazy I decided to try to get my
column into the craziest magazine in town. Guess what, they didn't
want me. They said I am too far out for them. I mean... I know, I have
been pushing it a little but am I really THAT crazy? Finally my column
found a new home at PULP magazine and so I have been busy writing. A
new challenge. The publisher of PULP told me that I couldn't possibly
write anything too strange for his magazine. Well, we'll see about
that."
• Topic
#8: bbChris on Radio 3, May 18, 11:50am:
Announcing and promoting an "Underground concert" in Joe
Banana's...
• Topic
#9: Internet search for father bears fruit:
Mon, May 31 2004, written by Kelvin
Chan, (C) SCMP
(Bruce Derrick is the former owner of the
Island Bar):
"It's always good to
hear about a family being reunited.
Longtime Hong Kong
resident Bruce Derrick, an agricultural consultant, lost touch with
his daughter Brandy Jane a quarter of a century ago.
Mr Derrick, 66, and
Brandy Jane's mother separated about 30 years ago when she wanted to
go back to Britain but he didn't. She took Brandy Jane and their
younger two sons followed some years later.
Brandy Jane, now 42,
was trying to get back in touch, but didn't know where to start. An
internet search of his name bore fruit - avocados to be precise. There
was her dad's name, quoted in the Foreign Correspondents' Club's
online newsletter last August, discussing the sexual characteristics
of the avocado.
She got in touch
with the club, they put her in touch with her dad.
Mr Derrick says the
contact after so many years came as 'an emotional shock'.
Father and daughter have since talked by
phone, a moment that he says was 'a bit trepidatious'. Now Mr Derrick
says his next goal is to travel to Britain to see her."
• Topic
#10: Malcolm Golding on RTHK Radio 3:
Our local "Artiste Noir" is a weekly guest now on "Whelan on the
Weekend", every Sat morning, talking about art in general and
about new exhibitions in particular...
This Media Watch section depends on YOUR
input!
Whenever you see Lamma
or a Lammaite mentioned in any media (printed, online, TV, etc),
any language, please
let me know!
|
Calling all Lamma-based artists,
painters, sculptors, fashion designers, photographers, digital
artists, but also all artsy pretenders & wannabe-famous artistes!
Having featured one dozen Lamma Artists of the Month already
in the past 12 issues, I'm always looking for new talents to
interview and make famous (?) via a feature story and online art
gallery!
2.
Aromatics for Pets -
3. Dog
Tags
May 30, Bulldog's 5th, Deep Water Bay:
It was an
added bonus that for some they had fine organic sparkling wine to
distract them.
P.S.
2: I was the only vegan (80% of the time!) and 100% veggie. I think
there was one other vegetarian (although I denote a vegetarian as
someone who doesn't eat meat/fish/chicken, but has dairy). I would say 7
of the 10 (3 don't live on Lamma) are regular/occasional guests of the
Bookworm.
Many dishes
look very "organic", meaning different from the slicker presentation of
other places, but they actually taste great. There was a delicious sauce
on my beans dish, binding all the many ingredients together, very mildly
spiced, but a bit too mild for my taste. Plain organic rice & boiled pak
choi: nothing special.
most efficient, artistic and
exciting spectator sport and combat discipline, first took root in
Hong Kong in 1965. It was growing by enviable proportions, but due to
rather complex reasons - both cultural and socio-political - a dark
age set in at the end of 1984, when ineffectual rules enforcing safety
measures were imposed by the then British colonial administration on
all free-fight or kickboxing contests.
