Lamma-zine - Presented by Compunicate!

Issue #31, July 2004

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community


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All photos & writing (except where credited otherwise),

design, editing, ads, publishing, distribution by Lamma-Gung.

Thanks to all advertisers & sponsors, writers & photographers,

contributors & collaborators, proofreaders & cheerleaders.

Lamma-zine - The e-Magazine for our Island Community






Events Calendar

Emails to the Editor


Best of the Month


Story Poll

Media Watch

Next Issue


  1. Meet Alain the World Champion

  2. Official Gravity Pocket Researcher


  3. Restaurants & Bars - July 2004

  4. Oh, Mr Bobsy, You Are Naughty!


  5. Tin Hau Festival, Dragonboats, Chinese Opera!

  6. The First Strike 2004

  7. Cronky, Wonky, Stonky & Honky Donkey


  8. Maternal & Child Health Centre Closed!

  9. Tapping Into Your Creative Pulse

  10. Tell Me About Your Cultural Identity!

  11. High Street Fashion For a Rainy Day


  12. Lamma Flowers & Insects

All 12 main stories of this issue, clickable!

Mouse over to reveal the pictures, click to jump to story

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Business Ads:

Editorial:  Becoming more controversial?

Congratulations for reaching this editorial! Some of you might have given up already when seeing this issue's "slightly controversial" cover picture?

The Lamma-zine has often been just a bit too nice to everybody. Let's try a more aggressive policy in future issues, making it more interesting & fun, even cynical sometimes, relevant to life on our fair isle. The Lammaite "family snapshot" on the cover represents several stories in this issue (Meet Alain... & The First Strike 2004).


The Lamma-zine is a platform for your OPINIONS! Who'd give a hoot about MY own opinions, YOURS might be much more interesting, entertaining & thought-provoking to read! Good arguments, but also rants & raves are most welcome!

Anything you feel strongly about, the Lamma-zine is THE place for your opinions to be read by over 1,300 subscribers, most of them living on Lamma. But if you sound too serious & boring, I'll reserve my editor's right to take the Mickey out of you a little bit, gently poking fun... So make it short, snappy & controversial, and send it to me RIGHT NOW!


I've added a Talkback button to many items in this issue. Click on it to jump to the relevant forum on Clicking on most pictures and links will do the same.


As promised in the last issue, the best two contributors in each issue will receive either a fine bottle of wine, or a free meal in a local restaurant! Congratulations to our two winners this time: Scott Fink (Dragonboating photos) and our Official Court Artist (Tin Hau festival photos)!  Email me with your tips, ideas, stories, photos, anything! YOU might win next time!


Please vote in the Best Story poll after browsing this issue. This will help to improve the Lamma-zine and create more stories that you might actually enjoy! By the way, this is the biggest Lamma-zine ever, far beyond 50 pages, including 15 (!) supplements, and over 500 exclusive photos! It took me over two months to put it all together. The Lamma-zine has grown too big to handle for a single person. Expect much smaller, but more punctual monthly Lamma-zine in the near future. In the meantime, please enjoy this biggest issue ever, it'll take more than one sitting to enjoy it all...


Calling all Lamma-based artists, painters, sculptors, fashion designers, photographers, digital artists, but also all artsy pretenders & wannabe-famous artistes! Having featured one dozen Lamma Artists of the Month already in the past 12 issues, I'm always looking for new talents to interview and make famous (?) via a feature story and online art gallery!


The Lamma-zine is URGENTLY looking for hosting sponsor(s) to continue its operation! It's not self-supporting yet from advertising and I can't afford any longer to finance it all by myself. The special hosting sponsor(s) would get recognition and exposure in each of the next 12 issues. The total amount needed is just HK$98/month + $200 domain name fee = HK$1,376. A great deal and effective publicity for Lamma-connected companies & community-minded individuals!


Artsy-fartsy greetings from Lamma-Gung

Managing Editor of Lamma-zine, Managing Consultant of Compunicate,
Site Administrator & Artsy Cybergeek of

Important Note: Most pictures & all ads are clickable links! ANY TEXT in this dark-blue or this purple colour is a clickable link to more content, for example photo galleries & additional pages, all called Supplements.

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Ads for Restaurants, Bars, Food & Misc.:

Follow-up:  New section!


Frequently, I get interesting feedback on already published stories, or there's something new to report, or additional materials submitted, but it's not enough for a new full feature story. This section will follow up on formerly published stories with the latest updates & new developments.


• Harry's LAP cartoon  (click for original story):


Harry's cartoon - the first one exclusively drawn for the Lamma-zine - was THE most popular item in the last issue!

I was asking for feedback from LAP and CLAW (Centre for Lamma Animal Welfare, formerly LAWC. Somebody suggested this new, much-easier-to-remember moniker. I like it and will use it in the Lamma-zine consistently from now on, even though the "official" name will remain LAWC). They both took the cartoon in good humour:


Sheila - LAP (Lamma Animal Protection;
motto: "Harmony between the human and non-human animals of our world, and a philosophy of respect for life"):

Thank you for your amusing cartoon about dog poo. We totally agree that this is an important community issue affecting both humans and dogs. LAP has made every effort to educate people on how to care properly for their companion animals, hopefully Harry's satire will result in cleaner streets ... at the very least people can use the cartoon to pick up the poo.

We are gratified that people know about LAP and that that they know we find homes for abandoned animals. However, the people in the cartoon would not qualify to adopt an animal from LAP because a good owner would clean up after their dog! Cleanliness is next to DOGliness.  ;-)

John - CLAW President (Centre for Lamma Animal Welfare):

...stopping the dog poo problem is a major item on our agenda and anything that brings attention to it is welcome.

The main problem is people whose idea of toileting their dogs is just to open the front door and let the dog take himself for a walk. Personally, I wouldn't dare try to follow up Harry! far too hard an act to follow! But we shall put our heads together for something.

Elizabeth - CLAW Chair (Lamma Animal Welfare Centre, behind Spicy Island):

Just a note to keep you updated about what's happening at our Centre:

1. Weekly Feral Cat Trapping

As part of the Cat Colony Care Programme, we are doing a routine of feral cat trapping twice weekly on Monday and Thursday evenings. If you are interested in helping us, or if you know of some street cats that needed de-sexing, please contact us.

2. Aromatics for Pets -
Workshop with Shireen Calucin

Wed, 16 June in Bookworm Café.

Learn how to use essential oils confidently and safely on your dog or cat. Essential oils are powerful plant extracts with a broad range of antimicrobial properties and can be the first line of defence in preventative care to keep your friend in optimal condition. Miss Shireen Calucin is a qualified aromatherapist and has completed a course on Animal Aromatics at the International School of Animal Aromatics in Wales. Workshop Details: Date/Time/Venue: June 16 2004 at 1930 at the Bookworm Cafe; Cost per person: $50; Language: English. All proceeds are donated to LAWC to help the animals on Lamma.

We thank Miss Shireen Calucin and Bookworm for supporting our work. Please call us at 2982-0800 for enrolment.

3. Dog Tags

Give yourself peace of mind by giving your beloved dog a tag with name and phone number. In case he/she is lost, whoever found him/her can contact you immediately. Now available at our Thrift Shop for $40 only. Profits again go into our general fund to help the animals.

4. Thrift Shop

Apart from support of generous donors, our thrift shop is our basic means of raising funds for our work. So, please come and shop and bring your friends too! Also, remember us when you have something useful that you no longer need. Currently, we have loads of books, CDs and VCDs - come check out for yourself. We're just behind Spicy Island.

Thank you for taking the time to read about us. You can read more at:


The quality of the ubiquitous pet posters (above) on the walls of Lamma has also dramatically improved recently! Could it be Harry's inspiring influence? Or did they get a new volunteer designer/ marketing person?


Specifically, the "Susan" poster from LAP (on the far right) is a prime example of pushing the envelope of Disney-esque anthropomorphism and extreme, over-the-top cuteness:

"Susan - She is a very dainty and well-behaved little girl, totally bewildered at having been abandoned."


Doesn't this just melt your heart into soft mush, staring into her big, black, sad eyes, causing an almost irresistible urge to call LAP right now to take care of "Susan"? Quite different from the aggressively slobbering "Binky" on Harry's LAP poster above! Which pet would YOU adopt? Maybe I should get LAP's talented writer to work for the Lamma-zine, writing stuff like:

"Lamma-Gung is a very dainty and well-behaved little boy, totally bewildered at NOT having been abandoned yet by his loving, lovely, lovable Lamma-Por. House-trained and quiet, healthy, vaccinated, but NOT de-sexed yet - You won't find an easier dog, eh, husband."  Nah, maybe not!


• Cococabana story  (click for original story):


Madame Shutterfly, one of several good & interesting HK-based weblogs, also visited the Cococabana in Mo Tat Wan recently. Here's her amusing illustrated account: at the co-co...coco-ca-ban-a!


• Dragonboating  (detailed women's team updates from Claudia Tarr, Recruitment Officer, Lamma Dragons. Almost no info, results or photos from the men's team's races available so far.):



May 1, Stanley: Lamma Dragons won the first women's cup of the season at Stanley, organised by Stanley Residents Association. The men came 5th.

Results on this website; trophy on the left; winning photo from Claudia on the right (click to zoom in!).


May 11, Tin Hau Festival, YSW:

Tin Hau Festival story.


May 15, Dragon boating Bric-a-brac, Island Bar (click for photos):

It raised $5,000, which we are pleased with. All of the leftover items except clothes went to CLAW (Centre for Lamma Animal Welfare), the thrift shop two blocks behind Spicy Island.


May 30, Bulldog's 5th, Deep Water Bay:

- The Women's team got into The Women's Plate final and came 2nd

- The Mixed team got into The Mixed Cup final, came 6.

- The Men's team got into The Major Tail Race, came 7.

The times are on this website... We are pleased with the mixed team results. The Mixed Cup was also a victory even if we didn't get a cup. We got 6th out of 23 teams.


June 5, Fiesta Night Fundraiser party, Island Bar: No photos yet...


June 13: Summer Vigor Races, Sai Kung: The Lamma Women's team will be racing in a new race "The Summer Vigor Races".

We raced in small boats of ten and had two teams, Lamma Tigers & Lamma Dragons.

The Dragons did well, but didn't get into the final. The Tigers reached the final, and after two false starts in difficult conditions (a strong side wind) came third. It was a very exciting race as the first five teams all had times of 1 min and 40 sec. It was only the tenths of seconds that divided the teams.


June 17-20, Penang, Malaysia:  Lamma women represented Hong Kong at the 25th Anniversary Penang International Dragon Boat Festival! (2 pink photos by Camellia Ng, click to enlarge).

We came triumphant third in the women's 20 boat. With HONG KONG ISLAND PADDLE CLUB and HKSAR team just beating us (by 3/10 of a sec) We are extremely proud that we did so well (and HK) beating teams including Navy teams from Australia, San Francisco and local Asian teams.


June 22, Stanley: We came second at exhausted to write anymore recovering from 5 days of

"OUT-PINK, OUT-PADDLE, OUT-PARTY!", our new slogan invented in Penang... 2 out of three ain't bad... see photo's below... more to come:

Photos by Claudia Tarr photos by Camellia Ng


• Wind turbine  (click for original story):


My in-depth story caused HK Electric to call & email me, thanking me for researching & publishing it:


HK Electric - Public Affairs Dept:

It's nice talking to you this afternoon.

Congratulations, your new Lamma-zine is out. As spoken, there are some interesting stories including the one about our wind turbine. You did quite a lot of photo-taking near the proposed site for the wind turbine. I think people on Lamma will definitely know more about this project by reading your story.

As our press statement mentioned, the project aims to explore the wider application of wind energy in Hong Kong. We will carry out an Environmental Assessment Impact study before final design and construction of the wind turbine.

According to our initial plan, site erection will commence in late 2005 and commissioning of this project is scheduled for 2006.

As I mentioned to you over the phone, to meet the future growth of electricity demand, we are going to install additional submarine cables. This will be the third submarine cable route from Lamma to Hong Kong. The first one is from Luk Chau Wan to Aplichau and the second one is from Pak Kok to Wah Fu.

In September, 2001, when we put forward this 275kV Submarine Cable Laying project for gazetting, we did advise the local environmental group, District Council members and some residents staying near our cable landing point about this proposed cable route.

Now that you have Lamma-zine, it will be helpful if you could publish this story about our submarine cable laying work so that all your readers will also know about this project.

Attached is a copy of the information sheet together with a map showing the submarine cable route. Should you require any further information, please let me know. Thank you for your kind assistance.


• 275 kV Submarine cable laying


So my quite critical remarks at the end of the wind turbine story elicited a very positive response, leading HK Electric to send me ADVANCE notices of upcoming projects! A real first, great! Let's hope they'll keep it up, we'd all appreciate being informed in advance.


Here's the map of the 275 kV submarine cable laying (Acrobat pdf format, 135KB), routed from the Power Station through YSW harbour, via Pak Kok and the Cyberport to HK Island, plus the info sheet.

This means that the Cyberport gets a direct power plug into the Power Station - how nice & convenient! Could I get one as well, please?


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 1.  Meet Alain the World Champion


(photo above by Milk Magazine, photo below by anon.)

There's a super-heavyweight Muay Thai world champion living on Lamma right now and his name is Alain N'Galani! A trainer in the local Island Gym as well as in Fightin' Fit in Central, he won his title a few months ago in Bangkok (watch video). Diesel's Sports Bar organised a Sunday afternoon party to meet him!  Click for photo gallery!


To read more about Alain's fascinating life & history, read some of the many interesting articles about him and his trainer Pierre that have been published in the SCM Post in the last several years. And no, the Lamma-zine will NOT comment on the recent legal troubles of Alain's trainer. They have unfortunately overshadowed Alain's triumph and stoked the fiery, local rumour & gossip mill for months, dividing the local community. The Lamma-zine refuses to get involved and the court case is closed now. Let's celebrate Alain's achievement & great personality instead with one more photo gallery (photos by Steve Cray, Lamma-Gung & Dish (see right middle).


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 2.  Official Gravity Pocket Researcher


Unfortunately, this feature has fallen victim to a time-warping gravity pocket...


Stand by, while the assistant of the Official Gravity Pocket Researcher is trying to escape from it to complete this feature... Check back here on Monday, July 18, 2073...


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 3.  Restaurants & Bars - July 2004


No big changes in the local dining & drinking scene this month, besides some good times for the bars during the recent Euro 2004 football. Fountainhead even repainted their bar (left).


After the big success of the 1st wine tasting in the Deli Lamma, they've organised another one recently (Thu, June 17), together with their wine merchant Vinoasis (see above).


Two quick restaurant reviews by yours truly: Lambcombe and the new Honey Bee:



Review - Lamcombe Restaurant:

I've been visiting the Lambcombe Restaurant with a group of American MBA students recently, playing one of the local hosts, showing them how to eat the more "exotic" dishes, like scallops or minced pork wrapped in lettuce leaves.

It was a grand feast of impressive size & variety, all the Lamcombe's signature seafood dishes were served, fully justifying their well-deserved reputation as the very best Chinese restaurant in Yung Shue Wan. Attentive service, seaview terrace, a cool night, fantastic food...

But what was most surprising was how few of our American guests actually appreciated the food, some not even trying most of the dishes because they looked unfamiliar. Not appreciating the feast laid out in front of them (see above), making disparaging remarks, not being adventurous in trying something new or "strange" to them, just a few daring to try new things, it was quite disheartening & disappointing.

Well, we put the copious leftovers into "doggy bags" for us hosts, as we definitely didn't want to let this kind of delicious, tasty, high-class food go to waste.

Review - Honey Bee:

The new dessert place opposite Thai Thai has been open for a few months now. "Open" is a relative term in their case, though, as I still couldn't figure out their infrequent & irregular opening hours: occasionally on weekday evenings, most of weekend afternoons, but not late in the evenings. It's rare to see them open when walking past the nice-looking little shop with just four tables and still no name sign above the door or on the menus.

Strangely, the prices on the extensive Chinese menu and the blackboards all seem much lower than the few dishes described in English. Only the most expensive dishes seem to be listed in English...

Because the place is so tiny and decorated in glass/stone/chrome, it's very noisy and echoing if there are any other guests. But it's usually almost empty. One of the only 4 tables was totally blocked by a massive mountain bike belonging to one of the staff.

Lamma-Por disliked the ambience of the place so much that she refused to order anything. My chocolate pudding with banana and runny whipped cream (pictured below) was definitely not worth the ca. $25 they charged for it. It also took a very long time to arrive. Obviously made from cheapo pudding powder, it tasted more like artificially flavoured jello than real pudding.

This place is still running on the usual temporary half-year restaurant license. We'll see if they'll make the additional substantial  investment to upgrade their facilities to get a full license. This place is a missed opportunity. I was really looking forward for YSW finally getting a decent dessert place. The wait continues...


...and a detailed photo gallery about what's new in the restaurants & bars - July 2004


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 4.  Oh, Mr Bobsy, You Are Naughty!


If you live in Hong Kong, you'll have heard of "Life" by now. It was hard to ignore all the buzz & publicity it has generated for two months now - TV, radio & dozens of newspaper & magazines.

Let's add not 1, but 2 photo galleries, 2 food reviews & 2 cartoons to this flood of all-free publicity, supporting this Bookworm-offspring, a true Lamma export, full of life, wishing it great success!


First, Harry's words of wisdom:

"Everyone has a go at Bobsy because he's very visible and they can, without fear of intimidation or physical violence, so here are a couple of cartoons by way of my contribution to the baying pack."

Media quotes: SCMP: "Life, an 'eco-friendly cafe', will serve nutritious vegetarian food at its 'comforting, nurturing and inviting' Shelley Street premises." "New treat for health nuts".

"Life Cafe promises a nice ambience and good vegan home-style food. In addition to good grub, it will have the sounds of world music and the smell of incense."

Holistic HK: "They are promising us “creative, imaginative, delicious, natural and home style dishes made with the finest vegetables, whole grains, nuts and pulses - mouth watering juices, healing soups, splendid salads, breads, and lots more.

The menu is divided into sections such as 'bowls from around the world' (ground nut curry, 'which has a West African influence', Mediterranean ragout) priced from $65 to $110, salads ($88 to $95), 'hearty dishes from home' (lasagna, shepherd's pie, fruit crumbles, $95 to $110), burgers (vegetarian, obviously) and a range of pizzas."


Click here for a captioned lively Life photo gallery, plus a photo gallery of the opening party.


Restaurant review by bbChris - singer/guitarist, Thinking Out Loud - attending a 10-people birthday party:

The ambience of the place is top-notch. The decoration is superb with all the wood and the colours are warm. Lighting is nice and dim. Music - good!

There are three floors to Life, the ground floor has two tables next to the Delicatessen which sells tasty snacks.

They also sell organic soya milk and some produce, including Rooibush tea.

First floor and roof garden are bigger dining areas. We sat on the roof garden which was very pleasant as we were celebrating a birthday party. For a Monday night, the restaurant was packed out.

The food received a variety of reviews: 'soup was original' - 'Life platter was tasty and would go back for more' - 'deeply average; dry Falafel burger, no dressing on salad' - 'more veggies & quinoa needed for Ground Nut Stew' - 'daal was fabulous'

The service was like 'a home away from home' reminiscent of the Bookworm. One person didn't get their food at all. (quoted as saying "Pity I couldn't say "shame about the food"). Apples weren't available, drinks were forgotten.

It was an added bonus that for some they had fine organic sparkling wine to distract them.

The biggest problem turned out to be the payment. We had requested separate bills at the beginning but at payment time we were told quite aggressively that the system was unable to separate our bills so as one person said "I liked the juicy beanburger & really liked the chips & I liked what my wife had to say about it. But I didn't like the maths at the end."

Overall, the menu is great, we love the fact that 10% of the bill goes towards charity, we love having the choice of organic juices or wine - Life just needs to improve its service and it would be an outstanding restaurant.

P.S.: The salads are different to Woodworm!

Bobsy wasn't there when we were there.

P.S. 2: I was the only vegan (80% of the time!) and 100% veggie. I think there was one other vegetarian (although I denote a vegetarian as someone who doesn't eat meat/fish/chicken, but has dairy). I would say 7 of the 10 (3 don't live on Lamma) are regular/occasional guests of the Bookworm.

(photo above by bbChris,
all other photos by Lamma-Gung)


Review by Lamma-Gung:

Great location, just besides the mid-levels escalator (ride it up to Soho, till you see the 2-floor-high banner on the left).

Their organic house wine, a fruity, crisp Chardonnay with a zingy, sharp aftertaste goes well with most of their dishes. Lamma-Por quite enjoyed her Chinese stir-fried veggies, even though it took a bit of convincing for this hard-core anti-vegetarian to join me! In general, the food is fine, but the often slow & forgetful service really needs some improvement and more in-house training.

Many dishes look very "organic", meaning different from the slicker presentation of other places, but they actually taste great. There was a delicious sauce on my beans dish, binding all the many ingredients together, very mildly spiced, but a bit too mild for my taste. Plain organic rice & boiled pak choi: nothing special.

But the Life house salad with hummus and really dark crusty bread, baked on the premises, was simply fantastic, the best salad I've had in a very long time. Take out some fantastic breads, cakes, salads & fair-trade coffees!

All-in-all a pleasant-but-mixed experience with considerable novelty value. We'll be back as soon as I want to afford another $200 for a late lunch for 2 (1 dish per person, no drinks) or an organic beer at $68...

Alternatively, I might take advantage of the much lower prices and the 20% discount offered in the Bookworm Café all summer!


Finally, why, oh why is this feature story headlined "Oh, Mr Bobsy, You Are Naughty"?

Click here for one more photo gallery of the opening party on June 19, containing one more Harry cartoon, and it'll all become clear like organic pea soup!


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 5.  Tin Hau Festival, Dragonboats, Chinese Opera!


(photo above by Scott Fink, photo below by Andrew Shields)


Tin Hau, the most colourful, photogenic festival of the year on Lamma!

Lion dances staged, paper offerings burnt, exciting Dragonboats raced, sampan rowing contested, Chinese opera performed...


Lots of photographers were out in force, taking some great shots. You'll find a few of my own photos below, plus a lot more from 3 other photographers:



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 6.  The First Strike 2004


Alain, Lamma's Muay Thai Heavyweight World Champion was fighting in a local tournament in Queen Elizabeth Stadium, co-organised by Lamma's Island Gym. Several temporary (Nathan Corbett) and permanent Lammaites were on stage and many more in the audience, watching this first Muay Thai tournament in HK since 1984. Let's quote verbatim from the brochure handed out to tournament visitors, full of noble sentiments; some of them could even be described as unintentionally ironic:


HK Boxing Association - Vision Statement:

Thai-style boxing, or Muay Thai, a sport now revered world-wide, as the most efficient, artistic and exciting spectator sport and combat discipline, first took root in Hong Kong in 1965. It was growing by enviable proportions, but due to rather complex reasons - both cultural and socio-political - a dark age set in at the end of 1984, when ineffectual rules enforcing safety measures were imposed by the then British colonial administration on all free-fight or kickboxing contests.

Now, twenty years hence, Muay Thai and ring sports are ready to make a comeback.

The Hong Kong Boxing Association proudly presents The First Strike 2004 marking the beginning of a new era, free from the constraints of back water policies.

Our objective is to revitalize this great sport of our time, and to give our real stars a fighting chance.

The event is produced by our association, in co-operation with our co-presenters Khunchieng MuayThai Society and Fightin' Fit Gym. The name Khunchieng needs little amplification for the countless local fighing talents it has produced over the last twenty years. Our friend Fightin' Fit is a world-class combat studio headed by Shihan Pierre M. Ingrassia, 6th Dan hard-style Karate and Kickboxing champion, who shares the same vision with our chairman, Mr Alex Tsui: Hong Kong has all the attributes to be the martial arts capital of the world - but only if we act in concert and with dignity.

To begin with, all persons in the fight game must conduct themselves with self-discipline and honour, so as to establish public credibility, which will, in time, foster a good culture we strongly propose that the diehard values below be recognized by all of us in the community.

  • The ring belongs to true warriors.

  • Fighting is a game of honour - let no one betray that noble faith.

  • Olympic spirit: the better man must be adjudged the winner, but whoever fights with heart is to be hailed a hero.

From the brochure's Chinese-only fighter bios (translated by our Official Court Translator, Samson the Naughty Tai Peng-uin). Very informative, but try to be patient with all the hype and political incorrectness:

Alain N'Galani ­ "Hong Kong's Ghostly Beast":

"Without doubt, Alain N'Galani is a natural-born fighter.

Alain's skin is as black as the darkness of the night. At 1.79m and over 98kg, his muscular body is as solid as steel and his limbs are just as strong. He also moves just as quickly and mystically as the black panther. Since settling in Hong Kong, he's been going under the nickname of "Hong Kong's Ghostly Beast".

Originally born in Cameroon, Alain grew up with a keen passion for the art of fighting and Kung Fu. A 6-time African Champion in Freestyle Fighting, his expertise led to his employment with the rebel army led by General Gaile of the Ivory Coast. When the General came into power in 2001, Alain became the Ivory Coast President's bodyguard.

However, when the General was overthrown from his presidency by internationally backed political force and subsequently murdered, Alain found himself in exile, while his personal safety wasn't guaranteed any more.

He fled the dark land of Africa for France, then Asia, particularly Thailand, before finally settling in Hong Kong.

N'Galani, aged 28, has won all except 3 of his 27 fights. At a recent competition in Southern Thailand, he KOed all three of his opponents within the first 2 rounds.

After settling in Hong Kong, he was trained by renowned German kickboxing coach, Pierre Ingrassia, who also offered Alain a job at the Fightin' Fit Centre.

Although his daily needs are met, Alain the fighter belongs to the ring, where he can freely showcase his fighting talents. In Hong Kong, however, the task is harder than one would imagine. For starters, it is not easy to find another fighter his size! Following Pierre's efforts, Hong Kong's Number 1 trainer Son Ching extended his helping hand to sort that out by connecting with other fighters and kickboxers on the Mainland. Until now, Alain has already fought beautifully for several times. He has beaten the Guangdong Heavyweight Boxing Champion Ma Sum and conquered the Japanese Judo Champion. At the beginning of this year, Alain won the title as the "South China King of Combat". As for his aspiring goal, it is to win the K-1 Combat Championship in Tokyo, Japan, the highest honour at the combat and fight scene around the world.

Today, China will send Fujian fighting expert, Zhang Qing Jun, named "Tiger of Jiang Xu", to compete with Alain. This will be a fight between the tiger of Southern China and the African panther."

Nathan “Carnage” Corbett - temporary Lammaite while he was preparing for this tournament:

"Other than France and Germany, the new forces of global combat fighting are Russia and Australia. The standards of fighters are rising and their competitive style rivals that of renowned Thai fighters.

Amongst the top Australian athletes is World Muay Thai Committee (WMC) Medium to Heavyweight Champion, Nathan Corbett - nicknamed “Carnage” for his ferocious style of fighting.

Nathan, aged 25, measures 1.83cm in height and 80kg in weight. He first began training in practical-style Karate with a German-based Karate Champion, and then trained with the current Thai S-1 “Prince’s Cup” Championship series, a fellow-Australian nicknamed “Cowboy”.

Since he began training with “Cowboy”, he had only lost 1 of his 25 fights. Nathan currently holds these titles:

  1. 1997, 1998, 1999: Australian Karate Champion of Full Contact Karate

  2. 2000, 2001, 2002: Australian Champion of Medium Weight Muay Thai Boxing and Australian Champion of Medium-Heavyweight Muay Thai Boxing

  3. 2004: WMC Medium-Heavyweight Champion

To describe Nathan’s style of fighting, the most appropriate word is “horrifying”. His attacked are fierce and powerful. For opponents who lack preparation and concentration, it is like they’re stepping on their journey of death…

Nathan’s nickname as “Carnage” came about in 2003, when he beat his opponent, the Canadian World Champion, Brown, by inflicting maximum damage with just one punch that is as quick as a lightning flash…"

Fortune Chan -
Official Court Poet of

Drunken tears, sad and lonesome,
Missing the scent of the big boy's sweat.
Defending violence from a mid-west eyrie,
Visions of a place you just can’t forget.

Between the legs, dream of violence,
Men in shorts, muscles tight.
Long-lost Lamma, distant dreaming.
Oh, once more the sweat-drenched fight!


Click for the First Strike 2004 photo gallery!

See several SCMP stories about this tournament and its aftermath.


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 7.  Cronky, Wonky, Stonky & Honky Donkey


This band recently packed out the Deli, as well as playing shows in Wan Chai and Tsim Sha Tsui. Sat, April 17 saw the Shockin' Rockin' Donkeys making the Island Bar their stable for the night.

Half the band (singer & drummer) are Lamma folk, the other half was imported from Happy Valley for the evening.


"Cronky, vocals; Wonky, guitar/vocals; Stonky, bass/vocals; Honky, drums. The music is dance/ rock/ska/funk and features covers from the likes of Groove Armada, Happy Mondays, The Specials, Kylie, Adam and the Ants and many others, all played in that special Donkey Stompin' style, guaranteed to get folk up on their hooves n' groovin'."


Donkeys @ Island Bar photo gallery


In Wonky's own words:

On Sat, April 17, it rained. It rained a lot. For the Happy Valley Donkeys, guitarist Wonky and bassist Stonky, it meant a dark, wet journey. People in Hong Kong forget how to drive when it rains, so it took a while.

The Wanch donated an amp for the night, so that was collected and taxied to the ferry. A quick stop for a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale and a short ferry ride later and the four Donkeys were reunited in the Island Bar. Of course the rained stopped as soon as the ferry docked, and if it hadn't been 8pm, then the sun would no doubt have started to shine.

The Lamma Donkeys, singer Cronky and drummer Honky, had been in the bar setting up the kit, and enjoying the Lamma hospitality, and soon all Donkeys were getting thoroughly looked after, and beered up, by the helpful and friendly bar staff.

The bar filled up, and the Shockin' Rockin' Donkeys hoofed into their first set. The Donkeys play rocked-up dance music, so it wasn't long before folk were up and dancing along. There's some photos of the gig around here somewhere - better to look at those rather than read about the gig. The band played till around 1am, then about 2am the Happy Valley Donkeys went to haggle with a sampan to get back to their stables.

Stonky had this to say about his night on Lamma:

"I have no idea what was going on 'cos all I could see all night was the back of Wonky's head".

Thanks to the bar staff for looking after the Donkeys and thanks to all that came down to the gig - you guys make it all worthwhile and the Donkeys look forward to playing Lamma again.

A little background on the Donkeys:

The Shockin' Rockin' Donkeys first met around 20 years ago when they were all working as carrot toppers on a farm outside Yeovil, West Dorset. After a while, they realised they had a shared love of music, formed a band and were soon practicing in one of the barns.

Their first gig, as The Toppers, took place in one of the fields just beyond the paddock in June 1985. Unfortunately this gig was poorly attended, with only 3 other toppers, and 8 donkeys coming to see the band. Nevertheless, The Toppers didn't give up and were soon playing around the local pubs and at the country fairs.

There was a huge falling out, and blows were exchanged, when it was discovered that the singer was 'seeing' the bass player's mum, and the bass player was spending far too much time in the donkey barn with the drummer's girlfriend, Meredith. The guitarist was also discovered planting a carrot with the farmer's daughter, so The Toppers were sacked, driven from the farm, and went their separate ways.

They met again by chance in 2003 in Hong Kong and, with their differences firmly behind them, have re-formed under the new name of the Shockin' Rockin' Donkeys. The name is there to remind them of those times back on the farm. They are now back gigging, and everyone is welcome to attend, except for Stonky's mum, Meredith, and any farmer's daughters.

The Shockin' Rockin' Donkeys promote fun live music. There's no gratuitous soloing (well, other than when Wonky gets a bit carried away), no ego (although Cronky is a bit of a prima donna, requiring fresh hay and carrots in the dressing room before and after the gig), no 'musical differences' (except when Stonky often plays a completely different song from the rest of the band) and no 12 bar blues ('cos the drums are way too tricky for Honky).

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 8.  Maternal & Child Health Centre Closed!


Did you hear about the Maternal & Child Health Centre inside the Lamma Clinic closing down (see announcement below)? They were providing twice-monthly pre- and postnatal services to Lamma's mothers. But they closed it on May 15, due to the government's cost-cutting measures and too few customers, they claimed. Who are they kidding? Mothers might be THE fastest-growing segment of the population on this "Fertility Island"!


To prove this, just have a look at any social gathering of the Lamma Dragons women's team! I took some photos at their recent Bric-à-Brac Sale to raise racing money, focusing on the numerous toddlers:

Lamma Dragons Bric-à-Brac Sale photo gallery.

Lammadonna has taken up the issue, posting bilingual posters on the walls and starting a signature campaign in places like Emily's and other shops along High Street. This is a shared issue that Chinese and English speakers agree fully: This Maternal & Child Health Centre needs to reopen ASAP!


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 9.  Tapping Into Your Creative Pulse



Instead of featuring the usual "Lamma Artist of the Month", let's find out this time how YOU can live the life of a Lamma artist, at least for one day!

First, get yourself over to Luk Chau - just over the hill from Yung Shue Wan.

Then, spend a day relaxing, meeting a few like-minded individuals, having great fun, making up some artworks and being really amazed & surprised at yourself by how creative you can become in the right environment & atmosphere!


I've just spent a fun day at the beginner's workshop Tapping into the Creative Pulse in the GreenHouse with inspiring art teacher Deirdre Butler, famous acupuncturist Jerry, plus a Chinese and an Indian lady (non-Lammaites). Lunch and all materials were provided. Click here for some details of these easy-going, free-spirited art workshops. So what are you waiting for? Give Deirdre a call or email her and find out what YOU can create in a single day! I'll be back in July, we might even meet up.


Click here for photos and artwork created in this Healing Art Workshop.


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10.  Tell Me About Your Cultural Identity!


The last time we've heard from Lisa in the Lamma-zine was in the Nov issue (with the mysteriously-sounding & intricately-intriguing topic of The Production of Locality in a Transnational Community). Her anthropology PhD thesis about the Lamma community is making great progress and she's started her "field research", doing full-time interviews with Lamma residents now. She's got a few probing, personal questions for YOU!


For example: "How did you end up living on Lamma Island?

What places do you avoid socially on Lamma?

Are you a cosmopolitan, a forced migrant or a domestic labour migrant?"


Lisa describes Yung Shue Wan as a "multiplicity of spaces" - impregnated with different meanings by the diverse "overlapping community of communities".

Doesn't it ring so true? I just love the language of anthropology, there's wonderful potential for several more great Lamma-zine stories, irreverent looks at the local community, showing the underlying web of relationships, conflicts & social structures via entertaining & hopefully amusing stories & pictures, to reach a wider, non-academic audience, conveying a deeper understanding and appreciation of our transnational village home with the language of fun puns, mock-mockery and gentle teasing of its subjects from many cultures... Sorry, I got carried away... back to Lisa:


Lisa: "I am currently doing anthropological research in Yung Shue Wan that aims to capture some of the social and cultural dimensions of life here in this unique transnational community. Some of you will know me personally already. I’ve lived here on Lamma for 2 years, and after a recent stint living in Ka Nam Village, in no less than an enchanting little orange house, formerly know as The Wisdom Heart Centre – with Autumn and Barry, we have relocated back into the heart (the ghetto!) of Yung Shue Wan again (good and bad points to that, no doubt!).


I would love for as many of you as possible to get involved in what I am doing, and this can be done in a couple of ways – firstly by just filling in the questionnaire. If you feel compelled, delete the questions and just write a brief low-down of your experiences, if that makes more sense to you. Ultimately, my main aim is to talk to you on a personal level as much as possible in the next four months about how it’s all happening here on Lamma, this is about “ethnicity” – how we all make sense of our lives here and how we all relate to one another in this unique environment. I am exclusively Lamma-bound for the next four months, and will be talking it out in informal interviews with friends, groups & individuals – the more input the better."


Click here to download the questionnaire (Word format, other formats available from the editor).


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11.  High Street Fashion For a Rainy Day


Sitting outside the Deli Lamma one very rainy April afternoon, it struck me how much like a catwalk that stretch of High Street really looks like, with people showing off their latest fashions & accessories. An idea for another "slightly unusual" photo gallery was born: High fashion for a rainy day, Lamma style!


Click here for the full fashion shoot on High Street!


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12.  Lamma Flowers & Insects


(photo above by Barry Swerdlow;  photos below by Offical Court Artist)


After all the heavy topics above, let's wrap up this issue with some light n' fluffy photo galleries! How about pretty flowers and colourful insects, reminding us how much natural beauty is still left on our fair isle; in-between and beyond our man-made jungle of Spanish-style villas, randomly-strewn construction waste, rusting machinery, illegal garbage dumps and smelly, mosquito-infested "drainage problems"...


Well, without further ado and without any more negative remarks, let's zoom in on the brighter side of Lamma's flora & fauna, all part of the local natural environment most of us love, admire, treasure and want to preserve:

1. Photo Gallery by Barry Swerdlow

(artist & freelance photographer, email, Tel. 6204 5554)


2. Photo Gallery by the Official Court Artist (click here to read why I'm such a great photographer):

His comments about his photo gallery:

"This is what I do when I want to relax.

I grab my camera and go out onto the hills and shoot insects and flowers.

These pictures are the result of two hours shooting over a 50 m stretch of walk way.

Lamma Island must have the biggest diversity of insects in the world. Imagine how many pictures of different insects I could take if I would do this systematically for a couple of weeks.

Even at this session I saw about four times as many insects as I could shoot. Many of them beetles, butterflies and wasps flying too high or too fast for me to catch.

And then there are all the nocturnal insects like many beetles, stick insects, roaches and moths."


Last but not least, his beautiful (and modest!) Lamma nature story:

Official Court Artist:  Venus and I


A bunch of birds are sitting in a tree waiting for bugs to pass by. One jumps up, swoops down, picks up an insect, settles back on its favoured branch and waits for the next unsuspecting, careless bug.

A cool breeze blows from a westerly direction, keeping my beer and me fresh. I am sitting on my balcony on Lamma Island watching those birds doing their bird things. For those of you who live in the city, birds are like those chicken you see in the supermarket but with feathers, usually smaller and they fly around.

At this very moment there are 5 different kinds of birds sitting in one of the trees in-between the ocean and me. The crashing sound of braking waves, amplified by the wind is carried through the trees. The birds are weaving little musical accents into the slow rhythm.

I get myself another cold beer. The sun is disappearing behind a curtain of haze and Venus is showing its first flickers of the night.

A strange kind of melancholy sets in my heart, a heavy happiness like the remembrance of a long-lost friend. Venus and I have a special relationship.

It started a few years ago when I realized by watching the night sky, that Venus is always close to the sun. Once I figured that out, I suddenly understood the structure of our solar system from a different point of view.

In a way, it was the reverse of knowing your way around in a city, but only understanding the relationship of landmarks for the first time when you see it on a map. Familiar already with the structure of our solar system, I have then gotten comfortable with it on street level, I saw the big picture from the inside out. I was very thankful to Venus about that. My admiration of her deepened once more when I realized that Venus goes through phases like the moon does. I actually had a chance to see the beauty of that event for myself with the help of a pair of binoculars. By then I was in love with Venus.

Recently I read that this coming June 8, Venus will transit in front of the sun (photos). For a few hours you can see Venus as a little, black dot moving across the sun. For those you who live in the City, the sun is that big, yellow, hot thing in the sky at which you should not look straight without something to protect your eyes with and especially not with binoculars.

I just thought about something. If this event will happen so soon, then theoretically Venus should be a crescent by now. I put my beer down and get the binoculars. Oh yeah, yes, indeed, a beautiful crescent. Now I am really in love with Venus and I am certain that Venus, in her own cute way, likes me too.

I am watching her slowly disappear behind Lantau island, while the birds are singing lullabies to each other. A warm and fuzzy feeling spreads inside me. I quickly cool it down with a cold beer before somebody calls me sentimental or something like that.

(Venus transit photo by Lamma-Gung)

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Story Poll:  Harry's the winner!


Which story did you like best?


Please click here to vote for your favourite story in the online poll on!

But you need to be a registered member. Only a username and active email address is needed: click to register.

Thank you so much for helping to improve the Lamma-zine!


Results from the last issue: Harry's cartoon won hands down (4 of 11 votes)!

I suggested to Harry to take over the magazine, but he replied in his typically modest (and cynical?) way that "My cartoon is just a bit of frilly stuff on the top of your fine work."

What a nice guy!

Which Lamma-zine story did you like best?
1) The Loveliest Place on Lamma!
 0%  [ 0 ]
2) Restaurants & Bars - April 2004
 0%  [ 0 ]
3) Land of Herbs & Veggies at the Beach
 10%  [ 1 ]
4) Sexy Biaatch of Boracay
 0%  [ 0 ]
5) Sacred Drums on Kublai's Kahn
 0%  [ 0 ]
6) Nadia - Second-hand Artist?
 0%  [ 0 ]
7) Like an Indian Village?
 0%  [ 0 ]
8) First-ever Female Cricket Club Captain
 0%  [ 0 ]
9) We're Getting a Wind Turbine
 30%  [ 3 ]
10) Very Temporary Helipad
 20%  [ 2 ]
11) Inside & Beyond the Typhoon Shelter
 0%  [ 1 ]
12) Doggy Island
 0%  [ 0 ]
Harry's cartoon
 40%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 11


Brown-Nosed Sycophant of the Month:


This much more popular poll (40 votes!) was also recently concluded in typical Lamma fashion, following in the spirit of the recent Official Village Idiot poll. Check out the poll details and congratulate the winner, Xerxes, who won with 12 of the 40 votes.


Mr Xerxes, very appropriately named after a great & famous Persian king, is a fine & outstanding example of the brownest of brown noses populating some areas of The glory, honour and accolades of being Lamma's Officially Elected "Brown-Nosed Sycophant of the Month" belong to him and him alone! Hail to thee, Xerxes the Great!


Lamma-Gung was elected a runner-up in this poll (10 votes), so I was obliged to brown-nose the winner above - which I have just done (Yuck!). I suggested this stupid idea myself without considering that I might actually be voted a runner-up myself! Thanks and no-thanks, Mr k@, for rallying all your ex-Lammaite and other friends worldwide to vote for me! I'll get you for this if you'll ever return to Lamma! Now I've got to clean & disinfect my sullied nose...

Events Calendar:  June & July - quiet months


This calendar is being frequently updated at

Submit all Lamma-related events for free listing to Lamma-Gung.

For past events, check out the Events Calendar Archives: 2003, 2004.












Meet the Dogs Day,

Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar


Aromatics for Pets WS


Wine Tasting @ Deli Lamma, Dragons @ Penang




Morning sale,

Life opening party



Lamma Dragons @ Chai Wan,

Drumming Session




Lamma Dragons @ Stanley,

Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar






NUDE @ Music Room





Drumming Session




Carolyn O'Neill Photo Exhibition,

Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar








Farewell party for Doggy w/NUDE & Garoupa



Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar











Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar











Drumming Session




Standard Chartered Night @ Island Bar










every Tue, July 13: all evening, Island Bar: Standard Chartered Night: all standard drinks only $20, if paid with a Standard Chartered Bank note.


Wed, June 16, 7:30pm, Bookworm Café: Aromatics for Pets workshop: $50, English, Tel 2982 0800. Click for poster


Thu, June 17, Deli Lamma, 7-9pm: Wine Tasting by Vinoasis:

Free, but call 2982 1583 for reservations!

Australian red & white wines from Blue Roo - New South Wales, Red Devil - Margaret River, Rosabrook Estate - Margaret River. click for poster


Thu, June 17-21, Teluk Bahang Dam, Penang, Malaysia: Lamma women will be representing Hong Kong at the 25th Anniversary Penang International Dragon Boat Festival!


Sat, June 19, 8-11am, near the Clinic: Morning Sale: click for poster (PDF format)


Sat, June 19, 7pm onwards: "Life" opening party: Nathan Kaye, flying in from Australia for a gig, strictly by invitation only. Get an invite from Life in person or contact Bobsy.


Sun, July 11, 4:30 pm onwards till dusk, Hilltop Cottage, Lamma Island: Weekend Drumming Session:

About 15 min. walk from YSW ferry pier (follow the signs). It has an indoor and outdoor space. Fee: $50 per person a day, the money goes towards the venue rental:

"The weekly drumming session is open to anyone who'd like to drum freely, enjoy the green nature or meet other drummers in town. Whether you are an absolute beginning beginner, or super-doper drummer, come and drum! EVERYONE IS WELCOME!!!!

If you are interested in joining the session, please read the information carefully at"


What to bring: your drum and/or percussion instruments, drinks/water, hat, mozzie repellent. Drum rental available ($50/day, please book in advance with KUMI, tel. 9750-4212). Enquiry: Sue Shearman, tel: 9811 7434.


Sun, June 20, Chai Wan: Lamma Dragons boat races, 350 m, men.


Tue, June 22, Stanley: Lamma Dragons boat races


Fri, June 25, Music Room Live (ex-Jazz Club), Lan Kwai Fong, 2/F, 34-36 D'Aguilar St, 10pm: NUDE: crisp and refreshing afrobeat and disco-funk, $100


Tue, June 29 - July 6, 7-11pm, Karin Weber Gallery, G/F 20 Aberdeen Street, corner Hollywood Road, Central: Carolyn O'Neill - The Forgotten: Photo exhibition & reception by HK Dog Rescue: phone 9448 1128, email, website.

"Carolyn has assembled a portfolio of black & white prints featuring the dogs of the HK Dog Rescue organisation.

She photographs only in black & white, preferring to use only film.. The photographs will be a mix of portraits and pathos, showing the story of the dogs from kennels to their new life. All of the (framed) photos will be for sale. Tickets cost $50, proceeds go to HK Dog Rescue."


Sat, July 3, 8pm, Concerto Inn, Hung Shing Yeh beach: Farewell party for Doggy & family. NUDE & Garoupa performing, plus DJs.


Best of the Month


• Pictures:  NO FLAMING


The Official Court Artist has been visiting Lamma several times recently. This photo on Main Street, vis-a-vis the Deli Lamma was taken by an anonymous friend:

"The authorities in Hong Kong are very concerned about proper homosexual behavior. Excessive gayety and shameless flaming can not be tolerated under no circumstances. Of course, anything that might make the floor wet is totally out of question."


Dispelling any sexual-orientation-orientated rumours that might be started by this picture, here's a close-up of Andy's arm, featuring his wife's name...


1st July 2004 -
Democracy Protest March

Quite a number of Lammaites joined over half a million "Champions of democracy" (SCMP cover headline) on the Handover Day protest march!


Click on the headline or photos for some great & passionate photos taken by bbChris! I liked Shaun's fashionable "umbrella hat" the most! These little "photographic accidents" often make for the best photos!


Centipede reloaded:

June 1, 2004: Photo from yesterday morning, on Lamma-Gung's bathroom carpet, 2.5 inch body length w/o legs & feelers, almost 10 inches w/legs & feelers. This photo was taken shortly after the little horror story below:


Early morning in my bathroom, still sleepy & drowsy, I took my shirt off a hook and started putting it on. I noticed something crawling on my naked skin under my left armpit, spotting it in the mirror. Spooked, I instantly brushed it off with my hand. It ran off hiding under some stuff in the bathroom corner.


Closing the bathroom door to avoid it escaping, I grabbed the Raid(TM) bug spray. I sprayed under the stuff, carefully removing it, till the aggravated centipede came out running quickly towards me. I sprayed some more bug spray on it, but it didn't slow down much. So I used the edge of the spray can bottom as a weapon, decapitating it! Not sleepy at all anymore, I was wide awake at that point!


Several legs of the centipede continued twitching for at least half an hour. It's a specimen in a jar now, the first centipede ever in our flat in 2.5 years. It can be viewed and examined by the public on special request, for a modest fee of more effective bug spray...


Maybe in a few more days, or weeks, or months, Lamma-Por might enter the bathroom again...maybe...


• Website:


• Bug:  Pergesa Actea (Cramer Moth)


Since the creepy-crawly season is well under way now, here's a picture of a well-designed, camouflaged and very aerodynamic-looking moth sitting on my flat's door. Anybody know what it is?


Uncle Guy, our newly appointed "Official Court Lepidopterist-in-residence" (butterfly & moth expert), correctly identified this pretty bug, eh, moth, and has joined our eminent senior moderator Zep in answering questions in the Flora & Fauna forum.


• Bird:   Cattle Egret


• Quiz:  Top 10 Lamma Birds


• Tree:  Acacia Confusa


Odd Story:  Sailors jump ship to escape 'pirates' off Lamma


• Guessing Game:  Where on Lamma?


This little game I've started recently has become quite popular. We put photos of Lamma sights and objects online and people need to guess the exact location: Guessing Game


• Congratulations:


Lamma band Garoupa will put one of their tracks onto a compilation CD by EMI!


Album Genre
No. 1:  Black-Eyed Peas Elephunk
Simply The Best Reggae Album Compilation
Everything But The Girl Best of
Songs to make you feel good Compilation
Red Hot Chili Peppers Greatest hits
Happy Mondays Best of
Budweiser Karaoke hits Compilation
Best of No. 1 Hits 2004 Dance compilation
School Disco Summer Holiday 80's dance compilation
Marvin Gaye Greatest hits

• Top 10: Jukebox Hit Parade:


As a music lover, do you ever wonder what's popular in the jukeboxes in Lamma's bars & restaurants? No? Well, I'll tell you anyway!


Submitted by an anonymous expert:

"This is the June hit parade, albums selected by the guests and recorded by the Jukebox Junction software in the following bars: Deli Lamma, Fountainhead, Diesel's, Y2K and Island Bar. Hits in no particular order, except No. 1.

No. 1 last month: Red Hot Chili Peppers."


• Pet Peeve:  Lamma Ferries Fare Increase:

Oriental Daily  (May 20, 2004) - translated by our newly appointed Official Court Translator Samson the Tai Peng-uin:

Rising oil prices are set to make a bigger impact on Hong Kong, as the operator of the Lamma Island to Central and Aberdeen ferry services, Hong Kong and Kowloon Ferry, announced their application to the Transport Department for a fare increase.

The company proposed to raise fares for its 3 Lamma routes (Yung Shue Wan to Central, Sok Kwu Wan to Central, and Yung Shue Wan to Aberdeen via Pak Kok) by $1, which represents a 6-10% increase. The Public Holidays special fare will remain unchanged. This is due to HKKF’s consideration that a fare rise on the weekend may bring negative impact to the tourism industry.

Miss Chow Chuen-heung, Vice President of the Islands District Council, said yesterday that HKKF had sought community views on the issue. She said Lamma residents representatives felt that the economy has only begun showing signs of recovery, and hoped that HKKF will consider putting off the fare rise until the end of year.

Mr. Ng Siu-yuen, HKKF General Manager, said the company has incurred losses up to $12 million since they began operating the services. He said HKKF was dealt with a further blow as the number of passengers has dropped since the downturn in the property market in recent years. The downturn drove down rental costs in the city, and in turn caused a fall in population of Lamma Island.

Mr. Ng said the proposed fare increase would not bring HKKF’s accounting books back to the black, but merely increase the company’s cash flow. He explained that fuel costs now represent approximately 30% of the company’s operating costs, so the higher oil and fuel prices will put considerable pressure on fares. Mr. Ng revealed that an “additional fuel charge” was considered, but HKKF had shelved the idea as it discovered that the arrangement may be too controversial and costly to implement.

HKKF had previously applied to the HKSAR Government for a fare rise in 2001, but the application was withdrawn due to the grim state of the economy.

The Transport Department confirmed that it had received an application for fare rise from HKKF. The Department is still studying the application and no decision is made yet.


• Messages   (posted on

(commenting on the planned $1 Lamma ferries fare increase):

May be we should follow the brown nose approach to this rather than be confrontational. Here is a draft letter.

Dearest Ferry Company

We thank you for providing an exceptional and essential ferry service to and from Lamma. We know that we are totally unworthy of the excellent service you provide and fully appreciate that we don’t deserve any service greater than that for required for the safe delivery of cattle. In fact we are very lucky that you don’t make us row the boat to Lamma while whipping us to go faster.

We are however, dare we say, extremely concerned about the proposed fare increase and the effect that it will have on our measly budgets and miserable lives. A dollar each way adds up to a fistful over a week. It is equivalent to 3 of the cheapest cans of beer at the Seats of Shame or a skanky fat one, which we use strictly to relieve our medical conditions, both physical and psychological.

We are afraid that with the increase we can no longer afford to go work. As the cost benefit of leaving dog pooh island for our paltry wages will leave us in debt. This can only result in the ferry company losing revenue and commence a viscous spiral of fare increases and lower turnover.

Therefore, we suggest that the esteemed ferry company seeks alternatives to raising the fares. Some ideas are as follows:-

Limit the speed of the ferry to less than 2 knots.

Install oars such that we can row and maximise fuel efficiency, the dragon boat team are very strong this year.

Install a bar at the back that some can hang off the back and kick paddle the boat, safety is not an issue.

Introduce a weight charge such that fat people pay more.

Start selling beer and drugs on the ferry.

Switch off the air con.

Switch off the lights.

Drop the Pak Kok service, the walk to Yung Shue Wan will do them the world of good.

We feel sure that by considering these measures that it could at least partially mitigate the need for the fare increase, possibly to under 50 cents.

Finally we thank you for taking your valuable time to read our humble request and assure that our noses are at the ready anytime you bend over.

Yours Sincerely,

Lamma Residents

Birdface Fight Club is causing instability to Lamma society:

The Central government's National People's Congress has had a closed door session and decided that Fight Club is causing instability to Lamma society.

The Lamma population are not considered mature enough yet for full fight club access.

You will be happy to know, though, that there will be a gradual and orderly development towards the reinstatement of Fight Club in due course, certainly before 2047.

Media Watch:  Lammaites in the news...


• Topic #1:  "Ideal Husband" lives on Lamma!

See SCMP story on the left, click to read.


• Topic #2:  Su Burnett, "Animal Communicator"

Our local Pet Psychic has been generating quite some publicity recently, being interviewed on Radio 3, RTHK, Apr 29, noon, "Morning Brew" by Phil Whelan & Kate, plus a 2nd live interview, same show, on Fri, May 14, 12:30pm. Click on dates or check the archives.

Plus an in-depth SCMP story below:


• Topic #3:  Hong Kong's 'horse whisperer' works to soothe stressed animals: Article in SCMP, Sun, Apr 25 (see SCMP photo on right).


• Topic #4: bbChris interview in SCM Post Magazine:

Reading this frank phone interview, now we know that she's addicted to music and sex, "not necessarily at the same time". Why not?

Always in PR mode, she's asked me to include some info on Aaron Calhoun, who she's been promoting and showing around HK recently. Okey-dokey:

"He's gigging in Hong Kong and Shazza Music is sponsoring his band to be here!! Aaron's currently staying on Lamma and may play a surprise gig at a

local Lamma establishment - I'll let you know if it happens. Not often an HMV

Jazz artist is living on Lamma!! hahahahahaa

And I can quite happily say I'm the only music publisher/promoter living

on Lamma!! wooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo"


• Topic #5:  Young Peterson Harbors a Dream

A friendly & fun article on local ice-hockey-star-to-be Andrew in the Toronto Star! See his Lamma residence on the right.


• Topic #6:  A woman, a rooster and a love that couldn't be:

Happy news from Ah Lui: "No, he wanders around freely, including into the front of my house, shitting everywhere." Click for latest bad news.


• Topic #7:  Andy's weekly incredible creative profanities


"May 8: The Aggressively Shy Stick Insect Hunter (ASS-IH) is a newspaper dude now. Starting today, you can read my incredible creative profanities every Saturday in the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the largest newspaper in the Philippines. My ass goes nationwide, oh yeahhh."  See left.


His first weekly column carried a warning from the editor:

"This is a WARNING

The SEARCH for unbroken ground is never an easy one, and rarely is it even a pretty one. Often pushing the envelope means we have to suffer a few perspective papercuts in the process. But with a specimen such as Andy Maluche, we at Super! at INQUIRER had little choice but to feature this vagabond of the visual vices.

The following showcases his unique photographs and philosophies. Some material may offend those faint at heart, but then again, that's the point of art, isn't it? Welcome to Andy Land, fasten your seatbelts, say your prayers, and kiss your pre-conceptions goodbye. You have been WARNED."


Unfortunately, soon afterwards, bad news from Andy:

"I have been fired as a newspaper columnist. Since I was fired for being too crazy I decided to try to get my column into the craziest magazine in town. Guess what, they didn't want me. They said I am too far out for them. I mean... I know, I have been pushing it a little but am I really THAT crazy? Finally my column found a new home at PULP magazine and so I have been busy writing. A new challenge. The publisher of PULP told me that I couldn't possibly write anything too strange for his magazine. Well, we'll see about that."


• Topic #8:  bbChris on Radio 3, May 18, 11:50am:

Announcing and promoting an "Underground concert" in Joe Banana's...


• Topic #9:  Internet search for father bears fruit:

Mon, May 31 2004, written by Kelvin Chan, (C) SCMP

(Bruce Derrick is the former owner of the Island Bar):

"It's always good to hear about a family being reunited.

Longtime Hong Kong resident Bruce Derrick, an agricultural consultant, lost touch with his daughter Brandy Jane a quarter of a century ago.

Mr Derrick, 66, and Brandy Jane's mother separated about 30 years ago when she wanted to go back to Britain but he didn't. She took Brandy Jane and their younger two sons followed some years later.

Brandy Jane, now 42, was trying to get back in touch, but didn't know where to start. An internet search of his name bore fruit - avocados to be precise. There was her dad's name, quoted in the Foreign Correspondents' Club's online newsletter last August, discussing the sexual characteristics of the avocado.

She got in touch with the club, they put her in touch with her dad.

Mr Derrick says the contact after so many years came as 'an emotional shock'.

Father and daughter have since talked by phone, a moment that he says was 'a bit trepidatious'. Now Mr Derrick says his next goal is to travel to Britain to see her."


• Topic #10:  Malcolm Golding on RTHK Radio 3:

Our local "Artiste Noir" is a weekly guest now on "Whelan on the Weekend", every Sat morning, talking about art in general and about new exhibitions in particular...


This Media Watch section depends on YOUR input!

Whenever you see Lamma or a Lammaite mentioned in any media (printed, online, TV, etc), any language, please let me know!


Top | Contents | Editorial | Follow-Up | Poll | Events | Best | Media Watch | Emails | About | Next Issue | Email Editor | Back-Issues


Emails to the Editor:  No more cheap & titillating promos!

bbChris - Thinking Out Loud - lead vocals/guitar:

Looks fabulous! And fun!!

Yes the ezine looks good and gives you everything you need. It's not a top priority to me as music is probably not a top priority to you. It takes all sorts to create our beautiful world.


The cartoon was great - but the story on the helipad is more important to our quality of life (literally), so i voted for that.

Anyway, congratulations to 30 editions of Lamma-zines!!!!

Barry - Photographer & Artist, winner of Best Contributor in last issue:

That's great news! thank you very much!

It's my pleasure to help you and contribute my photographic skills to the Lamma-zine.

I accept your prize for a meal at a local restaurant.

May I add that I think your Lamma-zine is fantastic.. great fun!

I admire your drive, skills and commitment to producing such a great web site each month.

Taipengshan - Regular writer of emails to the editor:

Managed to go through your latest Easter Lamma-zine offering: a real treat. Particularly enjoyed Raman Athinathan's essay comparing Yung Shue Wan to an Indian village. Congratulations to your author as well as yourself.

Marc - Lamma Cricket Club:

Btw, I think this month's edition of the ezine must be one of the best so far. Keep up the good work!

Insomniac - Officially Elected Village Idiot:

I love the Teletubbies image of Everytimeagoodtime as 'The magical spinney thing' for the Lamma Windturbine... seeing as a lot of us on Lamma are a bit Lala (or Poo)!

Talking of Poo, Harry's cartoon should be fly-posted across the island! Superb.

Excellent issue, Gung, and Kudos for the new advertisers.


I read every issue and enjoy it a great deal. Keep up the good work, Fella.


Deirdre - Healing Art Workshops:

I just have to give you some feedback on the last magazine. I really like the magazine (despite no broad band!) and I like its mix of stories and its friendliness, but I found the headline you used to promote it, this month, in poor taste, in fact really quite offensive..... the " do sexy biaatches..... so much so I didn't want to look at the magazine.

I don't think it reflects what's in your magazine which seems to me to be mainly interesting community news and stuff. Nor do I think I am a complete prude. The pictures and a few lewd comments are fine in their place, but in my opinion is using that sort of tag line to 'sell' the magazine is not the right place. To me, that sort of titillating promo just cheapens it (sort of like The Sun newspaper in the UK if you are familiar with it.) And you don't need to - the magazine is great as it is!

I was also thinking that if I were a parent I'm not sure I'd want my kids looking at it, purely because of the headline, not so much the contents. Hope you will not take offence at the above, but I felt the need to give you some honest feedback.... and after all it's only my opinion!

Reply from Editor:

I have to agree partially with Deirdre, especially as quite a lot of people didn't know the much softer, less offensive meaning of "Biaatches" (sexy women) as opposed to the harsh term it's derived from (bitches). And it was just a quote from a poster for a Diesel's party!

I also got a handful of unsubscriptions, very unusual, as I normally don't get more than about 1 unsubscription per month. And one subscriber's email bounced back the issue:

"[WORDSCAN] This email was found to contain inappropriate content by the MIS Word Scanner, and does not meet Education Queensland's acceptable email usage policy."

I've taken this criticism seriously and will try to stay away from offending some of my more sensitive readers. But the editorial policy of allowing swear words, lingo and colloquialisms (where appropriate) will remain.

Being inspired by Deirdre's frank comments, I've used a quote from her email ("interesting community news and stuff") as the cover title of this very issue! If you've got a good idea for a future Lamma-zine cover title or headline, let me know! And I just love frank & honest criticism!

About  A month of records!


• Most popular topic ever: Congratulations to Alain:


I started this topic to congratulate our world champ on his great win in Bangkok. 491 messages were posted within 10 weeks and it received 7,029 views/hits, both all-time records!


Unfortunately, after a little while the topic deteriorated into a free-for-all mud-slinging brawl. It had to be moved into the Fight Club, so you'll need special access. Controversial topics generate the most numerous & most passionate messages...


• Most visitors ever:


588 visits on a single day: June 9, 2004. This was probably due to all the heated messages (38!) posted on that day in the highly controversial topic above...


• Message #10,000:


Less than two years after start-up, 10,000 messages have already been posted on!

Message #10,000 was posted on Apr 27, 2004 by Foxy in the topic A sorry sight about hill fires:


"This seems to be coming back nicely. Until it gets back its full plant cover, it will be at risk for soil erosion, especially if heavy people keep walking on it. Lost soil takes about 50 years to regenerate, I believe."


Next Issue:  Aug 2004


Photo Galleries: Record high/low tides, Lamma wildlife, etc.

*  "Where on Lamma?" guessing game

*  Sculptor extraordinaire: Alastair Robins (see right)

*  Harry cartoon in 3D, plus one new cartoonist

*  Hans Andersen Club interview

*  Leaving Lamma - Moving experiences

*  Farewell, Mr Lamma Fun Day & Little Princess!


If you've got any hot news, tips, ideas, stories or photos:

Deadline for submissions & advertising: July 24.  Free subscription!

Leave a message at 9236 0434 or email

readers since July 1, 2003;

217 readers from July 1-11, 2004;  7,670 readers from July 2003 - July 2004.

Last update: March 19, 2005 06:43 AM

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