May 31 - Dragonboat
LammaMammas on the Lammarch
Taipengshan submitted a
list of neologisms and I posted it
as an inspiration for the forum members to come up with Lamma-related ones:
"Once again, The Washington Post has published the
winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
"The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much
weight you have gained.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks
you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
(n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there."
You get the idea,
I hope... Here are some Lamma neologisms:
- Lammaite for only 1 year, he's already gathered some deep insights
into our community, maybe too deep...
He calls Lamma the "Island of the Ghost Teachers". Such an evocative
and intriguing expression! We hope that he'll care to elaborate on it
Laminated: covered in bug bites,
jellyfish stings and rain instead of clothes.
Lamentation: "the bar's closed!"
On the lam: hiding out from the
Internal Revenue Service, the KGB, MI-5, the Girl Guides and the St.
John's Ambulance Brigade in an abandoned house on Lamma Island.
Lemma: an intermediate stage in the
proof of the final theorem, such as "I must be an alcoholic!"
Lambast: an intellectual hard case
gets stuck into a topic and won't let go until closing time, if then.
Yung Shue Wan: "so, you 'n Ng she
wan', to see about a flat?"
LammaMama: kids are brown and run
around, and they love their hippie Grandma.
Lammarch: the Sunday parade of Chinese
extended families, LammaMamas and solitary Gweilos looking furtive to
and from the beach.
Lamousine: an open "kamikaze" cart
rocketing around the corner.
Lamercenary: takes the ferry every day
to work for the Yankee dollah, dreams of opening a chip shop or a bah,
pounds the HSBC ATM in frustration on Friday night cuz his money be
May 30: The Hushy-Lushy Drainage
Another Lamma Celebrity got his
face and interview into the SCM Post recently, famous long-time Lammaite
Chris the Carpenter, as he's widely known.
In case you missed it and don't have access to the paid-members-only SCMP
website, here's a clipping
of the story inside the forum discussing this controversial
project. The govt. is constructing a 2.5 metre-wide drainage channel,
supposedly to prevent flooding in the Yung Shue Long valley.
Chris has organised the local
opposition, got the relevant govt. departments to do a site visit for
residents on Apr 30 (summary
by Alan), collected the objection letters to govt. and got this
SCMP interview on May 8 as well (Locals
fight plan to concrete stream, full text). Way to go, Chris!
There are currently no organised environmental groups
active on Lamma, to my knowledge - except
ABLE's Lamma Forest Tree Planting next weekend (see
It's great and encouraging to see active and courageous individuals taking
up the initiative for environmental and political causes!
Learn more about this project, have a look at the
announcement & map and our long-running YSL drainage
channel discussion in our English and Chinese forums. To find out
who invented and dared to use the term "hushy-lushy" in a formal govt.
letter about this drainage channel,
P.S. 2 photos from SCMP
photo archive, 1996 & 2006. Thank you!
May 29: Freelance or Unemployed?
Thomas - Yes, THE Ted Thomas, most famous local practitioner of
the ancient arcane art of Public Relations, journalist, broadcaster,
etc. He wrote, "Lemme submit a piece on freelance writers.
Lamma is full of 'em."
column below blatant self-promotion for his company or sage advice
from somebody with decades of writing experience in HK who is eager to
pass on some of his wealth of hard-earned wisdom? Or both? YOU decide!
Time was when describing yourself as a freelance was
tantamount to admitting that you were out of work.
With English being the undisputed Master Language of
the Universe (and of business, aviation, IT and the travel industry), a
facility with the English Language can give you a steady income stream
without having to leave home everyday.
The explosive growth of the internet and increasingly
affordable PCs and laptops and notebooks makes everybody with a
reasonable command of English capable of earning a living.
On-line proof-reading, editing, writing and rewriting
are all skills that are being increasingly sought by publishers and it
is worth investing a little time and effort in finding a publisher that
you can work with.
My old partner Gareth Powell, arguably the best and
smartest publisher I ever met, used to say “Barrabas was a publisher” a
play on the biblical description of Barrabas as “A Robber”.
Not much to choose there, because most publishers will
put off paying as long as possible or at least until the money starts
coming in from the bookshops or the sponsors.
Because of tight margins and long production times –
anything up to six months can elapse between the delivery of a finished
MSS to when the money starts to roll in - most publishers will prefer
to make a royalty deal with their writers, but that can mean months
before the writer sees a penny.
Publishers are usually sensible enough to see that
you’ll need to pay the rent until your masterpiece hits the bookshops
and Hollywood agents start negotiating the movie deal, but as most
freelancers are not involved in writing The Da Vinci Code or Harry
Potter books, you may have to come to terms.
Obviously the more established writers are in a
stronger position to negotiate terms.
But the sort of freelance writing and editing that you
are likely to be looking at is of a more ephemeral nature.
Find a publisher that other writers say is a decent guy
(or gal) to work for and sit down for a coffee with him (her) and work
it out in advance.
Not all publishers are of the Barrabas ilk but most are
on pretty tight cash flow restraints and if it's a good and lasting
relationship that you're looking for then both parties are going to
have to compromise.
If I can be of any help email me at the guild of
Professional Writers and Broadcasters where we aim to put the two
My email is:
May 28: A Display of Rampant Sexism?
Sometimes I get
really funny reactions to stuff published in this Lamma-zine!
major Rugby Sevens story, Mr DickStock submitted a fun musical
photo slideshow titled
Best of HK 7s Babes 2006. It had been created by a non-Lammaite
photographer friend of his. Mr DickStock urged me to give his friend
detailed credits and links for the sexy slideshow, which I did, of
later the email feud below ensued, right after Mr DickStock asked me on
his friend's behalf to make the slideshow anonymous and remove all
personal credits. I wanted to know why, of course!
emails to L-G or this website in general will only be published with
explicit permission from the sender, of course.)
Hi L-G, I really appreciate you changing the babes slideshow to anon. I
send out the slideshow as a bit of harmless fun and really don't mind
where it goes. But all I ask is that it remains anon as unfortunately
things like the appreciation of the beautiful female form don't go down
well w/everyone, and when it affects your business.... I'd rather
To answer your question, the
lady is a Lamma resident. I went in to show her my work and the first
thing she said was...Yes,
I've seen examples of your work on the Lamma website........!
I got the job, though, so it
didn't do too much harm on that occasion......
Mr DickStock: The guy found it or
someone told him that they saw it on Lamma.com.hk. He was only afraid
that some prospective client might be "put off" by such a display of
You should write something funny about a well-known HK
professional photog who is too ashamed and embarassed about his craft
to use his name...
The Author: This retort to DickStock's
[aka Richard F Jones] misguided take on it to spice it up, I'm sure the
Lamma residents would love a spat/cat scratch between pro photogs.
Hey - he started it, right??!!
mmmm, Response from me:
Little-known outside of Lamma
HK professional cameraman, Richard F Jones, take on my request to
remove my name from the 7s Babes slideshow was totally misguided and
misinformed and somewhat vindictive.
As opposed to my slideshow
being a display of rampant sexism by a well-known HK
professional photog who is too ashamed and embarrassed about his craft
to use his name... it is actually intended to be a celebration of
the beautiful female form openly on display at the 7s each year, a
celebratory record demanded by most of my red blooded male friends.
It's not rampant sexism at
all, as a photographer I'm merely recording events and communicating
them anon to the world via the web, it's my job... unfortunately
not all people see it in this way, hence I prefer to remain the
anonymous author in case of offence.......
Now thanks to DickStock's
total lack of discretion, I'm forever known to all Lamma residents
as.....The Author! Can I ever step foot on Lamma again without
fear of being run off the island whilst being called a rampant sexist!?
Mr DickStock: Bastards, yer all
Anything for "art".
Author: Good man, DickStock......anything for the good
residents of Lamma!
P.S. This musical slide show has been
downloaded an amazing 1,412 times up to June 2, 2006. An
all-time-record for this site! But as everybody knows, sexy pictures
sell, even tough there's no nudity at all in this slideshow.
May 27: Photojournalist, Rock Idol &
Some Lammaites are amazingly
multi-talented. My own very modest talents all fade into ridiculous
insignificance compared to the great blessings of some of our Lamma
Example #1: Steve Cray, jolly man-about-the-village,
founder and frontman of Lamma band
Red Star Rising (see left), world traveler, professional
photographer and star reporter for the SCMP, has added another feather to
his overstuffed cap: Biblical Scholar!
After writing a very well-researched and in-depth Behind The
News article in the SCMP last Thursday, May 18, about the Da Vinci Code
book and movie (A show of faith), ATV
approached him to join a Newsline panel to discuss the many historical and
religious issues raised by this currently burning-hot controversy. He has
just recorded this ATV Newsline show
the other day, to be broadcast this Sunday
Steve argues that there was significant anecdotal and some
documentary evidence for Jesus and Mary Magdelene having been romantically
linked, and for Magdelene fleeing to the South of France in 42 AD. Only
having seen the movie (pretty disappointing) and being maybe the only
person on Lamma NOT having read the book, I'm quite fascinated by the most
interesting public debate the book and movie have initiated. But, as an
ex-Catholic myself, I'm very surprised that the author has NOT been hit by
lightning yet for his utterly despicable, heretical and blasphemous
writings! If Dan Brown would be a Catholic they might have excommunicated
him long ago!
On ATV's Newsline tonight, the other two panelists are
Father Jim Mulhroney, Editor-in-Chief of the Catholic's Sunday Examiner
newspaper in HK and Dr Stephen Palmquist, professor in the dept. of
religion and philosophy at HK Baptist University and co-organiser of the HK
branch of the Philosophy Cafe.
These fascinating, open, regular meetings discuss a wide
range of philosophical topics; for example "The role of Bullshit in the
modern society" last week, obviously a most relevant topic.
P.S. Here's a historic photo
of Steve & Santi that I took on
Halloween 2003, from his sweet and mild-mannered days. Can it
really be the same guy as the one above, taken just a few months ago? A
little mid-life crisis seems to do wonders to unfold new creative and
May 26: 'The Lamma Ladies Are Very Shy'
Reporting from their major triumph win in Boracay, The Philippines, in
blog (all photos by Lamma Ladies):
The Lamma Ladies - as many
have guessed - are very shy. We don't like
to boast, or announce our winnings, or engage in any unladylike
behaviour of that nature.
Which is why we would like to say "THANK YOU" to Top
Deck at the Jumbo for announcing our GOLD
MEDALS and FIRST-PLACE CUP that we won at the
International Races in Boracay over the May 12-14
It's so nice to have someone brag about us on our
Lamma-zine feels honoured to "brag about" the Lamma Ladies on their behalf,
joining into the island-wide choir of highest praise and heart-felt
But what about the boys, eh, Lamma Dragons (men) team?
Despite repeated inquiries, all I've got from them so far is this single
photo, showing them huddling to contemplate their winning strategy. It
doesn't seem to have worked yet this season. I'd be happy to publish any
photos or info on their past & future races this season!
May 25: Lammaverse: Lonely Letter
Another photo poem
from our new, frequent contributor Eric. As this is the 4th photo poem he's
submitted so far, he's been honoured with the title of "Official Court
Poet". The former title holder hasn't contributed any poems in quite
some time, so this honourary (but not hereditary) title has been passed on
to a new and very worthy recipient. Official congratulations, Eric!
May 24: Lamma in B/W
Vicky is looking at our colourful Lamma scenery with a sharp eye for light
and shadows, observing our surroundings in levels of grey and documenting
them in monochromatic but beautiful photography:
If you live on our island, do you recognise the 3 houses
More about Vicky's upcoming photo exhibition on HK Island soon, including
examples of her vibrant and vivacious colour photos...
May 23: Photo Poems & Pet Portraits
Lamma-Gung: Below you can read the latest weekly email to 2,500+
registered members and subscribers, reminding them of the latest
stories in this Lamma-zine Blog. They're getting a listing of the daily
blog headlines every 2 weeks, plus the highlights; easier than checking
out this Blog every day!
you're getting this email already, you can skip this entire email
Subscribe here to be added to the subscriber list (it's a
strictly confidential and spam-free list):
Welcome to the Creative Island!
This month, the Lamma-zine Blog is going all artsy,
showcasing a wide range of paintings, pictures and even poems either
from local artists or visitors inspired by Lamma to many creative
Plus Lamma Grand Prix Ring Road news, $80K monthly
rents, flat sales, photos from several parties and an experience of...Satori?
Plus loads more of our Seriously Silly Stuff:
Keep the news coming and also ask your friends to send
me any Lamma/Lammaite-related stuff for publication! Anything is
welcome, but we're especially looking for regular columnists, anything
funny, photographers, videographers, animators and multimedia artists
to contribute their stuff and promote themselves to a wide audience!
Visit our active English & Chin. forums:
Our recent headline stories, all online at
$80K Rent! On Lamma?
Lamma Grand Prix Ring Road Cancelled
Lights Out Hong Kong
In the Deli Lamma Kitchen
Satori by the Seaside?
Flat Sales Posters
Lammaverse: 'Stick figures'
'The Wicked, Ugly Disciple of the Devil'
Shake Your Thang at the Fantastic Day Funkraiser!
'The People Moving People'
Lammaverse: 'Sickle Moon' and 'Dusk'
Chinese Forum Summary - April 2006
Dragonboats at Sunday's Sunset
'Painted Snouts Emerge from Hillside Studio'
Lammaverse: 'Crossing the Island by Night'
'Nice Curry Fish Balls: $5'
Win a Trip to See the Pink Dolphins!
Annie Knibb - Artist of the Month - May 2006
Lamma Cricket Club @ Phuket Sixes
'Our Need for Ceremony, Community & Spontaneity'
Low-cost advertising & sponsorship on Lamma.com.hk is
It's an advertising-supported, 4-year-old web publication with over 2.2
million hits/month and over 2,500 subscriber emails...
May 22: Radio Garoupa: Rubber Lovers
& Crazy Lazybones!
Garoupie - a member of their smart, salubrious, semi-professional,
worldwide marketing machinery [Which maybe might include this
website, as some people have suspected for a long time. But there's
ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH in these Garidiculous rumours! ABSOLUTELY
What could be better than a pot of freshly-brewed
coffee, the Sunday papers and a perfect blend of music and chat with
Garoupa recently appeared live on Neil Chase's
Sunday Morning Show (RTHK - Radio 3). The boys played
stripped-down, steam-powered, acoustic versions of four songs from the
forthcoming CD: 'Rubber Lover', 'Crazy', 'Mother' and
here for the link, choose your media player, and fast forward (Click
Next 3 times) to the fourth hour of the show. The chat starts at about
9 mins and the music at around 11:30 mins in. Is that clear as mud?
[Or you can just
and jump directly to the beginning of the 46-min long interview,
including 4 live songs. Many thanks to Alan the Moderator who
set up this short-cut link into the RTHK website - Editor]
Garoupa would like to send out a big thanks
to Neil Chase for inviting them onto the show.
[Garoupa's website &
email, RTHK photos submitted by Alex - Editor]
May 21: $80K Rent! On Lamma?
Artist's impression of
future "Lamma-1" luxury development on Nga Kau Wan beach
(Tannery Beach), behind Po Wah Yuen, just below the "DickStock Residence"
Samson - Official Court Translator, summarising and translating
a "Lammarina" story in Sing Tao Daily (Tue, 16 May 2006):
Luxurious Lamma apartments available
of the “Lamma 1” recently said the luxurious housing project is
expected to go on sale around the Mid-Autumn Festival this October.
Mr. Bobby Li, Managing Director of King Wong Group, pointed out that
“Lamma 1” will have 11 houses in three different sizes – 2,300, 3,500
and 4,200 sq. ft.
With an asking price of
$8,000 per sq. ft, the minimum price for a house at “Lamma 1” is
expected to be around $18 million. He went on to say that four or five
houses might be made available for rent at $80,000 per month.
According to Mr. Li, the simple interior design and décor follows a
Mediterranean design blueprint.
former, more detailed 6-page story from CAPITAL magazine (with pictures and
maps, but in Chinese only):
6. and a
forum topic with a summary translation.
stories in this Blog:
Lammarina - Development #1 of 7,
May 20: Lamma Grand Prix Ring Road
This small notice appeared recently on the public
notice boards, without any further explanation or map. A bit of research
(asking Alan, our most knowledgeable moderator of the
Environmental/Political forum) resulted in confirmation that this
is indeed the "Lamma Autobahn/Ring Road/F1 Race Track". Check out the
original General Notice and some background on the
website, Ring Road section. By the way, SaveLamma has disbanded a
year ago after their campaign to stop the 2nd phase of the harbour
reclamation had been successful.
Quoting from my Lamma-zine
story, June 12, 2003:
"We've learnt details of a new gov't proposal to
build a 20-million, 3.5m wide, 1 km long "super-highway" ring road through
Yung Shue Long valley, up to, but avoiding the fire station, past the
schools down to Sha Po and back to Main St. It would be wide enough for a
"Lamma Grand Prix" for Village Vehicles or bikes, making necessary the
cutting down of numerous old trees and the resumption of huge areas of
farmland, gardens and many redirections of existing roads."
There have been several discussion topics (New
Motorway, Objections to
Lamma Grand Prix Ring Road, EVA ROAD NOT
Being built?) and a major Lamma-zine story (Lamma Grand
Prix Ring Road) about this highly controversial project.
Major celebrations or a local day of mourning would be
appropriate, depending on whom you're talking to. This massive project has
been in planning for over 12 years and had been postponed two years ago
after a local campaign of over 130 complaint letters. Ring Road, R.I.P.!
Alastair Robins - Co-organiser of "Lights Out Hong Kong"
email, mobile 9218 2524.
FED UP WITH THE AIR POLLUTION IN HONG KONG?
HERE'S HOW YOU CAN HELP.
Lights Out Hong Kong wishes to create a public protest that will put
the democracy marches into the shade!
intend to ask the general public to turn off their residential and
office lighting on the 8th of the 8th at 8pm for
5 minutes only. A city-wide black-out will unify the public's voice
against the increasing pollution in HK.
IN THE DARKNESS,
THE GOVERNMENT WILL HAVE TO LISTEN.,
Although this idea is very simple, there's a lot of work to do. Before
the press launch in June, volunteers are needed to inform and persuade
heads of local industry to support our cause. If you're interested,
please turn up!
When: Wednesday 24th May, 8pm
Where: Deli Lamma
In the Deli Lamma Kitchen
Spending half an afternoon chatting with
Prafull at the Deli Lamma, I heard that he's got a new chef, Jai Ram
Chauhan (right), who joined on May 1st. He's been in HK for over 13
years and has worked in several 5-star hotels in HK and India before.
Ask him for your favourite dish and he'll whip it up
for you right away! On the right, his absolutely delicious version of spare
ribs and minestrone. Look out for his upcoming daily special set menu!
Above on the left, Asst. Chef Satram Kaur,
who's been with the Deli for 7 years and Leticia, Kitchen Helper,
who's been loyal for 6 years already.
The Deli Lamma's new website (Lamma.com.hk/deli) that I built
recently seems to be working out pretty well. There are already email
inquiries of dinner parties for up to 30 people coming in from town. They
found the Deli Lamma website via their ad on this website.
Satori by the Seaside?
Sitting at the seawall outside "New Holiday Mood Grill
& Restaurant" after a late steak lunch during my mid-day break:
Admiring YSW Harbour, our
small piece of the planet-spanning ocean which is hitting the seawall
hard at high tide, occasionally spraying me;
Little Egrets glide just
above the water's surface, skimming for food;
The sun light dances and
glistens on the waves' crests on a bright, clear day with visibility all
the way to Lantau Island;
Typhoon Chungshan has just
spared HK, veering off-course and avoiding HK altogether after heading
straight for us the day before;
A warm, dry wind caressing
my face on one of those precious "not-hot-and-humid" days;
Fake flowers decorating the
seawall, their colours contrasting the brilliant cyan of the sea and sky;
dancing across this paper while I write these words in hardly legible
longhand on the back of a Lamma.com.hk flyer;
Restaurant noises, subdued
activity, clattering of pans, a speedboat zooming into the harbour, a
The heavenly aroma of
freshly brewed coffee and the anticipation of tasting a mini blueberry
Now try this:
Lean back comfortable, relax your whole body, close
your eyes, don't think, don't focus on anything, just listen, be in the
moment and enjoy it, let your thoughts flow in a free and unguided manner,
open up your mind to your surroundings, become aware of the smells, sounds
and all other senses, except vision.
Become aware of how fortunate you are of living on Lamma and being present
here, right now, in this moment, on the beach, enjoying yourself...
After a short time, it might hit you:
A warm, cosy feeling of sheer bliss and utter
happiness spreading quickly throughout your entire being, engulfing all
your senses, an all-encompassing emotion of warmth & well-being filling
your heart and mind, an overriding feeling of joy glowing through you; a
rare, quick, precious glimpse of FOHAL (Full Of Happiness And Love, as a
lady friend called it), a kind of non-physical "joy-gasm".
Is this what Buddhists call Satori? Satori by
Any explanations from readers would be most welcome...
Whatever it's called and wherever it comes from, it's
tremendously enjoyable! But it fades out after less than half a minute. The
warm afterglow and happy remembrance will stay with you for quite some time
afterwards. I'm trying to write it down before it vanishes completely,
being replaced by the usual, everyday feeling of contented well-being.
Time to go back to work in my home office, refreshed
physically and mentally.
And no, I was NOT on any drugs during the experience! I'm not a religious
or spiritual person at all; more of an old cynic, actually, but mellowed
with age and still open to new experiences like this one.
Try it yourself one of these days, you might love it,
Flat Sales Posters
Why does not a single
property agent on Lamma have a website offering flats and houses for rent
and sale? This website gets frequent inquiries from people looking for
flats for which I have a standard reply of "Come here in person!"
The "Rent & Let"
forum is one of the most popular forums on this website. The local property
agents usually don't even have any photos of the available flats, even
though this would surely help tremendously in finding tenants and buyers
local property agent, Fok Ming Estate Agency at Nick's Corner, has
recently seen the light, testing if flats sell faster with good-quality
"professional" photos. So they went out and found an OK, low-cost
photographer to make some A3-size ad posters for their shop window,
even placing an ad on this website some time ago. Guess who was the photo-grapher?
Yes, me, Lamma-Gung. Another little sideline of making a few additional
dollars to support my very modest lifestyle. The middle flat below sold at
full asking price within a few days of putting the poster into their shop
window. The right poster went up yesterday.
If you need some nice,
low-cost photos of a property to let or sell,
email me. Here are the web page and ad posters so far, click to
story created more feedback than any other story so far this year!
And we've got a fine new advertiser on the lower left side of this page,
selling a very pretty G/F flat in Tai Peng. Check it out!
May 15: Breeze-tastic BASH
Monty Burns - Lamma Cricket Club, mobile 9636 5545,
All Lamma CC people, supporters
of the 2005-6 League & Cup season;
that the LCC men's league team have finally won something;
that the LCC women's team have won everything;
Lamma CC is
having our annual 'End of Season Bash' at
Devil's next Friday, 19th May from 7pm.
tastes will be catered to:
bar from 7 to 9pm (soft drinks, bottled and draught beers, house
wines and spirits);
shooters and cocktails thrown in;
sumptuous, Rizla-esque, finger food buffet;
15% discount will apply to all other drinks/items and after
the free bar ends.
On display & liable
to caressing will be:
Education HKCA Women's League Trophy;
Breezer Challenge bat;
Breezer Challenge display team, "The Daigers," to perform on
$160 per person on the night. All Lamma CC friends and
supporters are welcome.
Devil's have supported
us all season in their first year of sponsorship for the Club and are
looking to sponsor us again next year.
We need to give a
deposit to DA to confirm numbers. Pls therefore call or
email me now, so I can confirm numbers to Devil's.
Don't miss the Lamma CC
'End of Season Bash' at Devil's next Friday 19th May!
It's going to be Breeze-tastic!
May 14: Lammaverse: 'Stick figures'
Poetry & photo by
Eric Sampson. Give him some feedback!
May 13: 'The Wicked, Ugly Disciple
of the Devil'
Tjungarayi - Reporting on a recent close encounter with a centipede
As a newcomer to Lamma
Island and its summer I have been distressed to learn (the painful way)
all about the Lamma centipede. A ménage-à-trois is perhaps a fantasy of
most men, but at five o'clock in the morning in my bed, the centipede
did not inspire my partner or I.
The bite was incredibly
painful and we were 'stumped' at what to do. 999 was useless, as they
put me on to the after hours of the Dept. of animals, etc. They sounded
more concerned for the insect. After disturbing a local doctor, it was
down to painkillers.
After all this we
thought the whole incident was an aberration and that this happening
again was incredibly remote. Nevertheless, we put our three-year-old
son between us at night, figuring a centipede would bite us adults. A
bit like making sure you swim between flags, so that the chances of you
being bitten by a shark are lessened by the simple fact of being with a
hundred other people.
Less than a week later,
I woke to my partner's shriek of "Centipede! Centipede!" - would you
believe it, at 5 am again! I rose in shock and flicked the wicked,
ugly disciple of the devil off our bed. Simultaneously, my partner
seized our son and flung herself away from the cursed creep. I quickly
grabbed the nearest shoe and whacked the brute only to see it dart
around the side of the bed. Anyone having experience with these things
will know how dastardly quick they are.
My partner and son, now
safely out of the room, allowed me to virtually disassemble the room
and I finally found the cunning thing. It seemed to know it had been
seen, as it darted speedily before my trusty leather shoe which
resounded with an almighty "Thwack!" on its armoured carapace. The
beast had crawled up my partner's leg while in bed.
The very first centipede
had bitten my partner on the neck. I guess we were lucky the second
time. Nevertheless, these two incidents have understandably left us
with a siege mentality and thoughts of moving out of Lamma and even out
of the tropics. There are no venomous creatures in Iceland.
We have since learned
that only one recorded death has occurred from a centipede bite. This
was in the Philippines and the seven year old was bitten on the face. I
am in no doubt that this is the same type of centipede as the
Philippines are not too far away. Centipedes have been known to eat
mice, snakes, toads and even their peers. The local answer or remedy to
my inquiries has been sulphur, but I have watched centipedes crawl
happily through the yellow chalk, seemingly unaffected. I gassed one
with normal insecticide and the critter died post-haste.
Does anyone have a
sure-fire remedy to keep these ugly, aggressive, nocturnal, armoured
centipedes away from homes. Please let me know.
and heated debate ensued in our forums (creepy
crawly), with lots of good info and advice. There have been several
other forums about centipedes, the 2nd-most bothersome animal on Lamma
(after mosquitoes, of course):
Lamma for families?
P.S. 1: No personal
experiences to add by Lamma-Gung, as I've never been bitten yet and have so
far managed to keep most creepy crawlies out of my flat.
The last word goes to webdog, the founder of the Lamma.com.hk
forums, quoted from Lamma-zine
"If these warnings [about
centipedes and other creepy crawlies - Editor] don't work to keep
families from moving here, nothing will! In the meantime, we
residents can go on to enjoy the great family life here and keep it a
well-kept secret what a beautiful, natural, non-crowded, safe & healthy
place our island home really is.
"Or, as webdog said it
best: '...green environment, relatively low crime rate, a 'real'
beach and reasonably priced shops allow you a European lifestyle. For me
this far outweighs the inconveniences.'"
May 12: Shake Your Thang at the
Fantastic Day Funkraiser!
Don't miss these fine
events tonight and tomorrow night! Click posters to enlarge. For more info,
check out our Events Calendar.
May 11: 'The People Moving People'
Marketing - This loyal, long-term advertiser of this website
has sent me the following Advertorial which I'm happy to publish for
testimonials about their great & reliable moving services, check out
what some of the many Lammaites wrote who actually have used Links
Relocations, Doggy and Frazer: Leaving Lamma- A
Links Relocations- The People Moving People
Links Relocations have
put together some great benefits to help you with your relocation to
or from Lamma or to just build your collection of Asia Miles.
flying home for your summer holiday in business class instead of
the back of the plane! With the Links Relocations Refer-A-Friend scheme
you could be doing just that. If you have know someone, or several
people, who are thinking about moving, tell Links about them and
they'll give you 500 Asia Miles. If they move you get an additional
500! Your friends are, of course eligible for 2 Asia Miles for every
HKD8 they spend on their move, local or international.
For those of you who are
in the office all day and don't know when they'll be in for
visit from a Links Relocations Advisor, you can now get a quotation for
your move online. Simply go to www.linksrelo.com or click on
the banner at the top of this Lamma.com.hk homepage and visit
the Online Quotation System. In only 3 pages you can tell them
where and when you are going, what you are taking with you and how much
space it all takes up! A no obligation, competitive quotation will be
sent to you via email quicker than you could expect!
The third benefit of
choosing Links Relocations is a bonus Asia Miles scheme wherein
you get an additional 5,000 Asia Miles if you spend in excess of HKD
60,000 on your move, excluding insurance. This is, of course, on top of
the Asia Miles credited for the value of your actual move.
If you would like more
information on any of the benefit schemes or any other aspect of your
upcoming relocation, you can call them on 2366-6700, email
firstname.lastname@example.org or visit their website
May 10: Lammaverse: 'Sickle
Moon' and 'Dusk'
Poetry & photo by
Eric Sampson. Give him some feedback!
May 9: Chinese Forum Summary -
Samson - Official Court Moderator of All (one, so far) Chinese
The annual Tin Hau Festival Chinese Opera again
created quite a buzz on the Chinese forum! Talk about that downpour
on closing night!
What’s up at the Central pier?
The Central piers have been decorated as a part of the Tourism
Board’s “Culture & Heritage Celebration” program, sorta like a
joint-birthday party for Tin Hau, Tam Kung and Buddha!
You Bet! It’s the newest restaurants
on Lamma and it has already become the new favourite of the Chinese
Lamma’s fleet of mini-fire engines
and ambulances were deployed to Yung Shue Long recently to combat a
fire… at the refuse collection point…
LAWC = HELP:
The Lamma Animal Welfare Centre needs your help,
as they help a local granny take care of her many kittens.
The Real Green Lamma Green:
The Chinese forum members discussed
what types of plants they have planted, whether potted or in the
Great Value for Rent Money?
A 280 feet house on the Back Street
for $2,800! There’s gotta be a catch? 280 ft. is the area of the
3-storey house added together! So each storey is a little under 100
Red House – an update!
Still on the subject of housing, it’s been a
little over six months since the mystery of the red house with the
black tile roof was uncovered, and now, a newly wedded couple took
photos in front of the iconic building!
Detailed map of Lamma?
Holiday-maker, eigna, wondered where
she could possible get her hands on a detailed map of our fair isle.
Apparently, mo found a copy at the Yung Shue Wan library and
photocopied it… Read
Satellite? With the FIFA World Cup
approaching, Devil Fung wonders if the Filipino satellite will
broadcast the sporting extravaganza!
May 8: Dragonboats at Sunday's
Photos taken by Lamma-Gung
yesterday, Sunday, May 7th.
(ALL blog photos that are NOT credited to anybody else, are L-G's.)
May 7: 'Painted Snouts Emerge from
Jay Scott Kanes submitted this story and photos,
combining paintings and pets, two big
aspects of life on Lamma, featuring this month's Lamma Artist
of the Month,
The most attractive Lamma
Islanders aren't human. Knowing this, longtime artist Annie Knibb
has added a new dimension to her creative career, that of
"I really enjoy painting portraits of animals," she
said. Thus, pet-loving people can contact her to commission paintings
of their pawed, or clawed, companions.
At Annie's peaceful studio high on a hill overlooking Hung
Shing Yeh Beach, she works from photographs to create pleasing images
of even shy creatures.
"I'm definitely a pet
person. I love animals," Annie affirmed. "Sometimes I know the
names of dogs, but not their humans. Often I recognize people by their
"I'd been painting dogs because they're a subject available
to me on a regular basis," Annie said. "Then I started to think
about making it a more focused enterprise. Capturing animals'
expressions pleases me."
Previously, landscapes and Buddha images filled many of her
paintings. She has
experimented with "collage and paint mixed together".
Heading the queue among Annie's animal clients stood Not
the Cat, a real-life feline who starred in the 2005 Lamma Island
novel, Dog-Gone Cat
Originally from Britain, Annie has lived on Lamma since 1995.
"Earlier, I spent a few months in the Mid-Levels, but didn't like
it," she said. "I decided that Lamma made a great mid-point
between China and the United Kingdom. The blend of cultures really
appealed to me.
"Lamma's an absolutely perfect place to be an artist.
I'm really inspired by its nature, especially the wild, almost unkempt
hillsides. I spend a lot of time looking at trees, flowers, birds and
rocks. It's very peaceful, which is great, because there's no distraction.
"On Lamma, I feel completely free to be
who I am. There's no need to conform to styles or social pressures."
When not painting, Annie works part-time as a writer, editor,
proofreader and translator. "I started to paint as a hobby," she
said. "When I really liked it, I just kept
The price tag to immortalize pets on canvas depends mainly on
the painting's size.
May 6: Lammaverse: 'Crossing
the Island by Night'
MADELEINE MARIE SLAVICK - POET and PHOTOGRAPHER;
OXFAM HONG KONG; CO-FOUNDER, SIXTH FINGER PRESS:
Crossing the Island by Night
The path rounds the bay
of soundless ripples,
The townless hills start.
Faint light tinges everything
with hair, or other things to touch.
Two black anythings
with a hood.
In a meshed yard,
nine silver chickens sleep
in a lumpy mound.
The tipped over potted plant
must be the rebel
of the one-room schoolhouse.
A naked doll
swings from a string and pole.
Is a scarecrow dead?
by the pagoda.
Lights vie for attention at the island divide:
cement factory conelights,
government lampposts on duty,
perched restaurants at low tide,
three electricity chimneys, red-ended
and one moon in the west.
Then the wide-curved slope
with huge rocks caught tumbling
to the ocean in a prehistory
or maybe flirting with the moon.
Do I still believe in streams?
The leaf canopy has no little openings
so I only hear it lapping itself.
An abandoned house lives below
and looks at the sea
The barbecue stick beach arrives
with its pinkish toilet-and-shower facility,
but nothing can change the birth from swimming.
The power station
becomes a block of city apartments
with everyone home.
A storyhouse props
beside a river carrying families
of toads into the living room.
A few more cicada calls
and snails on the path
before I unlock the front door to find color
It's too easy to see.
May 5 - Buddha's Birthday: 'Nice Curry Fish Balls: $5'
May 4: Win a Pink Dolphin Tour!
After the After Party in the
Deli (Fri/Sat, starting at 7pm), there'll be an After After Party,
at the beach on Saturday night...
May 3: Annie Knibb - Artist of the
Month - May 2006
I’m British and have
lived on Lamma since 1995. I started painting in the late 1980s.
charcoal still life
charcoal sketches of
of landscapes and flowers
digital collage based
on original drawings, paintings and digital photos
real and imagined
animals, plants and
miscellaneous objects from daily life
culture, icons and symbols
exploration of line,
colour and texture
charcoal, conte crayon, found objects, ripped scraps of magazines and
newsprint, scrap paper of all kinds, digital camera, computer
P.S. May 10: Annie writes:
"I've had a great
response to my art gallery on Lamma.com.hk so far -- lots of good feedback,
several enquiries, and one sale in the first week! Thanks, Lamma-Gung, for
all your great work in putting the gallery together!"
If you're a Lamma-based or Lamma-inspired artist and
would like to be featured in this blog for free,
just email me!
May 2: Lamma Cricket Club @ Phuket
Lamma Cricket Club:
They recently returned from the Phuket Sixes which
are co-organised by Lammaites Mark Burns & Brad Tarr's Asian
Cricket Sixes Tour
organisation. For photos and more humorous info, click below on
the names of Lamma
Cricket Club members who were fighting for Lamma's (and their
own) honour at the Phuket Sixes: LOADS
Phuket pictures are here!
team have recently escaped from the Hong Kong prison and last seen
heading to Phuket. They are a hardened bunch of criminals who don’t get
out much. Admittedly, articulation and intelligence are not strong
points, they do like their cricket. "I found cricket in prison and
it changed my life", says Jonno clutching a dog-eared copy of
breaks normally occur at times of Sixes tournaments in Phuket, Hong
Kong, Chiang Mai and Shanghai. While incarcerated, the team plays in
the Hong Kong Prison Saturday League. "It’s not about how you play,
it’s whether you win or lose. If we don’t win the cup, we will win the
fight", hissed Beck when interviewed recently wearing a hockey
"The Virgin Captain" Beck
Habitual offender who is a useful right-hander. Alleged to have
started a prison riot following Australia’s Ashes defeat. Nil by mouth.
"The Reverend" Tarr
Bats, bowls and shakes hands left-handed. His cricket sermons are
so inspirational that he has converted the prison warden. The rumors of
recent fitness improve-ments are completely unfounded.
Back (l to r): Terry Ward, Peter Berry, Bethan Greaves,
Rizwan Sattar and Brad Tarr; front: Mark Burns, Ian Beck and Jonno
"The Altar Boy" Burns
Will turns tricks just to watch the cricket channel. Often seen
cross-dressing just to play in the women’s team. Can be heard repeating
the words "too much cricket is barely enough" while sleeping.
Rizwan "Homer" Sattar
Can hit a ball with any blunt object. Loves prison food. Has done
time with Inzamam-ul-Haq. Odds-on to be the first arrested.
Jonno "Afroboy" Seifman
No shortage of courage here. Specialist short leg. A pickled
campaigner who wants to rise to the occasion. Loves to umpire at the
bowlers end as it reminds him of his prison cell.
"Foxy Lady" Bishop
Experienced campaigner who prefers solitary confinement. Will score
anything for anyone.
fresh from winning the HK Women’s League for the 2nd year running:
Sunday the Women completed the League and Cup "Double" by winning the
Women's Cup Final against a strong Hong Kong CC side!
Kim "The Rose" Leung
Loves conjugal visits. Respected among the in-mates for her raucous
support. Cries of E-N-G A L-A-N-D could be heard over the prison wall
during the recent Ashes Series.
Bethan "Long Hair" Greaves
Refuses all offers of conjugal visits. Prefers cats to people.
Plans to open a piercing tent at Phuket 6s.
"The Sloth" Knott
Strike bowler and teetotaler. Once spent three days in the lockup
in Tasmania after refusing to play the 'six and out' rule in backyard
"Warden" Berry (Team Manager)
Peter has been a long time supporter and sponsor of the LCC. Loves
to tour, loves to party! He’s our link to the outside world.
P.S. Breaking news for Brad Tarr:
"AND.. Lamma Cricket Club just returned from Shanghai. We played the
Shanghai Cricket Club for the annual Breezer Championship Trophy which LCC
won for the 3rd straight year!!!!"
May 1 - Labour Day: 'Our Need for Ceremony,
Community & Spontaneity'
Keep - Keeper of the May pole & organiser of the celebration & an
ex-Lammaite who recently returned from Chiang Mai, Thailand, with her
The May pole is ancient European festival for
calling in the summer at a really fertile time, the midway point
between spring Equinox and summer solstice. A time for high jinks,
fertility, love making and new life, the pole being a symbol for that,
It is still celebrated
in many European communities and in a couple of places in Britain
including Cornwall, Scotland and Ireland and by the growing number of
British Pagans in UK and America today... so it's ancient and modern at
the same time and that's why I like it. It's contemporary and historic
and feeds us with a need for ceremony, community and spontaneity and
our desire for togetherness with meaning... innocent fun without
the commercialism, fashion victimhood and self-consciousness that
pervades everything nowadays...
This was the seventh
year we have danced it on Lamma. It's really become a Lamma
tradition. Everyone had a great time yesterday. The drumming was
provided by Kumi's Drum Jam Club and the flute and Irish Irish
music by Rie and Louie. Sorry if it didn't quite work for you
girls; next year I will organise a proper Irish band for us for the
We had a
wonderful fire (Thanks, Netai) and people were able to leap the
flames and make their wishes for the coming busy summer months.
everyone who participated and see you next year! Same time, same place!
pole is now back in my garden with its mother bamboo grove, awaiting
Read more of last month's stories...